


Next Time Around

by slaves4hemo



Category: USWNT - Fandom, Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-07-15 04:58:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 57,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7208687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slaves4hemo/pseuds/slaves4hemo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Her pull on you had always been this strong, you just never took the time to understand it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pulling You In

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Guys!  
> I imagine many of you are screaming, "WHAT ABOUT LIEBE?!" right now. For that, I am forever sorry. I have finally had time to write this past week and my computer has completely crashed. Fortunately, I saved this new guy on drive and felt I owed you all something. I promise I WILL get to Liebe at some point for those still interested. But here's a fun, fluffy/tension filled story based on true events in my life. Very different characterization of these two than I've done, but hopefully you enjoy it a bit! Let me know what you think/if it's worth working on or if you are forever Liebe fans instead.  
> xxxxx  
> slaves4hemo

It was only the familiar salt water air that reminded you of home. Every thing else felt foreign. The shopping centers had been rebuilt, trees had been planted where there were none before, and you have yet to recognize one face. It was your first week back since you left for Penn State over four years ago. After your parents split and both relocated, you had little reason to come back. But when one of the top agencies in the country offered you a job, Florida suddenly felt like home. So here you are, back to your old home trying to make a new one.

You can't believe how fast the years have passed. How long has it been, four years? No, five, maybe six. Six years since you've actually seen them. Sure, you've talked here and there. Birthday texts, catch up Facebook messages, plenty of comments on Instagram. The girls don’t feel like strangers to you, but the nerves hit your stomach as soon as you jump in your car.

  
It had always been this way. Growing up, no matter how close you became, they intimidated you. Maybe there's a better way to put it. You looked up to them, maybe even idolized. Maybe it was just the cool factor. They both always seemed so damn cool.  
The day you met, you just found out you made your first travel team. You weren't normally shy, but lined up next to your new teammates, your slight stature had your insides turning. They didn’t offer a travel team for your age yet, so you opted to try out for the third and forth grade team instead. As the only second grader in the line up, you immediately doubted yourself.

  
“What’s up, squirt?” The blonde had smiled as she rested her forearm on your small shoulder, her weight distributing onto you. You had wanted to be angry, but the much taller goalkeeper had a soft smile on her lips as she looked out at the drill. Her slightly shorter friend stood beside her, eyes focused on the play ahead. You always got along, but you only really hung out as a team. You would laugh from afar as Ashlyn captivated the team with her goofy humor and, more often than not, physical comedy routines. It wasn’t until your sixth grade Spring, Ashlyn and Whitney’s seventh grade Spring, that the team folded. Half the girls had chosen Field Hockey or Lacrosse as their main sport and suddenly your beloved club couldn’t field a team. With short notice, your Dad had found a club just one town over holding tryouts. He’d sent an email to your old team with details. He promised at least one team member would show up—his only way to get you to tryout. You definitely weren't disappointed when Ashlyn and Whitney got out of the car that Tuesday night. Together, of course. They’d been attached at the hip since Kindergarten.

  
It was hard for you at first. You were the only one on both teams who went to the local private school. Your Mom taught there so tuition was free and the education was too good to pass up. While you never wished you went somewhere else, Ashlyn, Whitney and your entire old team had gone to the same public school in your town. Their bond was deeper simply because they saw each other on a daily basis. They played on their school team together, hung out with the same friends and gossiped about the same boys. But now, you remembered thinking, now that the three of you were to play together with these strangers, you could get closer.  
And you did.  
The three of you carpooled to every practice, game and tournament. You stayed together in hotel rooms—your parents rotating driver each weekend. Your relationship with each girl was different. Whitney was quiet, but she was honest and loyal. She seemed to fully come out of her shell only when Ashlyn was present. Lucky for them, it was almost always the three of you. Not that you didn’t get along with the rest of the team, you three just seemed to gravitate towards each other. Most of your alone time spent with Whit had been during field drills while Ash manned the goal. Ashlyn and you spent more time alone. You had always been goofy, jumping on any opportunity to tease the other. You were closer, no doubt, and to this day had kept in touch more often than you had with Whit.

  
On your drive to their apartment, you laugh thinking of all of the old memories. When you and Whit had pinned Ashlyn down in their hotel room in San Diego, forcing eyeliner on the girl. When Ashlyn had shown up hungover to a game after her first night drinking and puked in the back of her mom’s car. How Whitney had the biggest crush on the first male trainer you had. How, on a bet, your coach had shaved his long, wavy hair after you won the championship. You roll your eyes remembering particularly how Ashlyn loved to embarrass you. As you got older, Ashlyn—who never seemed to be phased by labels—would do everything in her power to distract your opponents—even if it was at your cost. “ Ali!” She would shout from the net. “Wanna hook up after this?” She got a kick out seeing her opponents back away from her—clearly nervous to stand so close to this unabashed gay goalie—and more importantly, she lived for the way the blood rushed to your cheeks.

  
“You’re so prude,” she used to tease you whenever you tried to scold her. “You know it’s funny.” You wanted to be mad, but you could never stifle your chuckles. She had something over you. She always had.

  
Ashlyn had never really addressed her sexuality. She never dated exclusively, but she openly hooked up with both boys and girls in high school. It wasn't something you guys talked about, really. When you dated Tom, she never asked in depth questions and you never really brought him up. It wasn’t the relationship you two had.

  
Then Ash and Whit moved onto college, leaving you behind to enjoy your senior year. They headed to UNC to play together and you kept in touch most of the year. You even made it out to to one of their games. But when you took off to Penn State the following fall, things got harder. You only saw each other in the NCAA championship match your sophomore year, but other than that, it was little texts and messages that kept you connected.

  
Of them all, only one conversation stands out to you. In your sophomore spring, after you had fallen in love with your first girlfriend Kesley, your outlook changed. You didn’t want to hide your relationship, but before the pictures began popping up on Facebook, you wanted to come out to those who you felt mattered to you. Without thinking, Ashlyn’s name was at the top of your phone. After a quick catch up, you jumped right in.

  
_I actually have to tell you something. I know you won’t care, but I wanted you to know before you found out through Facebook or something. I’m with a girl right now. Not really sure how it all happened, but I’m pretty sure I’m gay. Or at least a little bit,_ you add _,_ not wanting to put yourself in a box you hadn't quite figured out.  
Ashlyn responded within seconds.  
_Always knew you had it in you, squirt ;)_

 _Lol shut up,_ you replied alongside an eye roll emoji.

 _Can't believe you turned me down all those years,_ she teases. Part of Ashlyn had always known she had a bit of persuasive power over you, and she definitely liked pushing it. Being older and a bit more daring than you, she always seemed able to get you to do thing you were unsure of. Taking that extra shot of tequila, sending that text you didn't want to send, going to that party you really didn't want to go to.

 _Not my type,_ you replied just as quickly. It was the truth, too. You had never even thought of Ashlyn that way. At least, not up until that point. When you met Kelsey, your life seemed to click. You'd fallen in love faster than you thought possible and didn't question Kelsey's gender for one second. It wasn't until your love came crashing down a year later that you'd been forced to face the fact. You fell in love with a girl.

With that knowledge, you examined your life in a new way. Suddenly, you "girl crushes" felt more like crushes. Your obsession with your female soccer coach suddenly made sense. Your high school captain that gave the best hugs now seemed like the most kissable woman on earth.

But it's not until 5:55 that night, pulling into Ashlyn and Whitney's new place that the thought crosses your mind.

Ashlyn? Had Ashlyn been something more than just an older friend? No. Nope. You had never thought about her in that way and there was no point in starting now. No matter how much she teased you, it was never anything other than a fun game for you both. Plus, it didn't matter anyway, you were finally starting to move on from Kelsey. You've been on three dates with Tara now and you'd be lying if you said the woman didn't consume nearly all of your thoughts.

Whitney opens the door before you've even made it out of your car. She sprints towards you, tripping slightly off the curb on her way to your new BMW.

"Damn, Al!" She laughs as she pulls you into her. "I always knew you'd be the most successful of us clowns." You laugh as you take in her hug. She feels like home and you didn't know how much you missed her. Your hands quickly find her cheeks, happy to finally see a familiar face. She looks a bit older and tanner than you remember.

“I've missed you!" You hug again and then pull away to examine the house. They've rented a small, blue home together. There's an adorable front deck that wraps all the way around to the back. "I live for decks!"

"Ash insisted on building it," she laughs with a slight eye roll. "Her little baby." You smile at the thought, grabbing the bottles of wine and closing the door behind you. “Oh, you didn't have to!” Whit smiles. You just roll your eyes.

“Where's the goof?” You ask as you start towards the door. By the time you look up, Ashlyn is leaning against her doorframe, familiar smirk on her lips. You notice immediately how filled out she is. You've seen pictures, but you didn't expect her short sleeve button up to hug her biceps so tightly or for her sleeve to accentuate her muscles.  She's in all black, from her snapback to her loose shorts. She's tanner than you remember, too. Clearly she's been surfing, you think, from the blonde streaks running through her hair.

“Get over here, kid,” she jokes as she stands up straighter. Your pace quickens on your way to her. She laughs, pulling you into a hug. She leans back until your feet lift off the ground, your back cracking with the movement. “God, I can't believe it's been so long,” she says, looking you up and down. “Damn, Kriegs,” she smirks. You slap the side of her arm.

“Good to see _you_ haven't changed,” you roll your eyes. “You gonna invite me in or what?” She motions her arm through the door, making space for you to slide through. The first floor is an open space, half of it taken up by a modern kitchen and and dining room table, the other half a couch and TV taking up the living room.

“You little adults!” You tease. Whitney chuckles.

“We've been on our own for a year now,” she reminds you. “You gotta catch up.”

“How long have you been back grad?” Ash asks with a smile.

“One week,” you tell her. “Start work next week.”

“Where you working?” Whit asks.

“That ad agency down the street, Wild Fox. I'm starting in marketing and a bit of advertising. Mostly creative stuff for now,” you smile, happy you've been able to find a job in the market at all.

“Shut the fuck up,” Ashlyn laughs. “They're one of my clients!”

“Clients?” Your eyebrow creases.

“I do a lot of their design,” she tells you. “Sketches, some graphic design. Whatever they need, really. Me and Tobin. You remember Tobin? From UNC? She's out here, too, doing some art with me.”

“No way,” you shake your head, happy you'll have at least one friendly face around the office at some point. You turn to Whit. “What about you?”

“Doing some e-commerce stuff,” she shrugs, knowing it won't excite you as much. “Updating my company's website, coding, boring stuff.”

“That's awesome,” you tell her, genuinely impressed. Whitney just shrugs, shoving Ashlyn aside to check on the chicken in the oven. “Ash, go show her upstairs. I'll grab the food.”

“Open the wine?” Ashlyn asks as she heads towards the stairs. You follow, loving how comfortable you feel in their presence. She waits for you at the top of the steps and, as soon as you're level with her, throws her arm over your shoulder. She pulls you towards her and gives you a fake nuggie. You laugh but find yourself cuddled closer to her. You've always been cuddly, all three of you, and it feels good to fall right back into it.

“We're so happy you're back,” she says as you turn the corner. “I've missed having someone to joke with.”

“I'm so glad you guys are here. It seems like everyone else moved all over.” Ashlyn just shrugs.

“You'll make due.” You walk through the first door. “So this is Whit's room,” she says in a fake valley girl voice, her arm still resting over your shoulder. It's a plain, light blue room, a queen size bed in the middle. You turn and walk through a large bathroom with two sinks. On the other side of the bathroom, you walk through a door that leads to Ashlyn's room. Her room's a dark gray, but the window brings in plenty of light. She has a dark red comforter on a huge bed across from a nice TV on the wall. There are surf posters everywhere, sketches you think Ashlyn must have done and a few pictures taped to the wall.

“This place is great,” you smile, and she takes her arm off of your shoulder so you can explore a bit. You're busy looking out the window towards the neighborhood when her voice breaks your thoughts.

“You know Al,” she says softly, “you really do look great.” You don't turn around right away. You can feel her stare on you. Your tight black skinny jeans, your black booties with a slight heel, your barely cropped light purple tee. You pray you don't catch her checking you out, you've never been able to contain your blushing cheeks. You're relieved when you turn to face her that her eyes meet yours instantly. She's got a smug look on her lips, a look you know all to well. As her eyes focus in on you, you become hyper aware of her pull on you. The look she's giving you—it takes you back to a night you hadn't thought about in years.

 

_It was your first night out in months. Your school was different than theirs. You only had a quarter of the students in your school that they had in their entire grade. Your parties were a group of ten close friends sitting around a basement sharing whatever bit of liquor kids could sneak from their parent's cabinets. Maybe a case of Natty Light if you were lucky. Their parties were mini versions what was to come in college. Whit and Ash finally dragged you to one of their parties. Their senior bonfire. They got you drunk—drunker than you’d ever been. You play pong with Ash and mingle with Whit, running into some of your old teammates from years before. As the night closes down around one, Whit asks you to go find Ashlyn. As your designated driver, she headed to the car to pick you guys up. You wander for a few minutes, asking around for your friend. Finally, a boy with a smug look on his face points towards the brick building just off the beach. “Ugh,” you groan, realizing how far you have to trek through the sand for her. It became increasingly dark the further you walked from the beach, but the street lights near what appeared to be the bank lit up the brick enough for you to make your way. As soon as you hit the sidewalk, you turn the corner to find your tall, blonde friend pinned up against the brick wall. A short, brunette girl in a stringy bikini top and clearly unbuttoned denim shorts has her face buried into Ashlyn’s neck. Ashlyn, hearing your footsteps, slowly lifts her eyes to meet yours. You expect her to jump and squirm out from under the brunette, but she hardly reacts. Instead, with the smaller brunette still exploring her neck, Ashlyn’s hooded eyes lock with yours. A barely there smirk grows as the brunette moans your friends name, clearly begging to be touched. You don’t move. You’re frozen. Completely, undeniably frozen. You can’t tear your eyes from hers. She holds your gaze, her cocky grin getting bigger. She raises her brow slightly, silently asking what you need from her._

“ _Whit’s ready,” you finally manage to squeak out. Before you can further embarrass yourself, you turn on your heels, heading back towards Whit’s car. Less than a minute later, you hear your name being called. Ashlyn’s running to catch you and doesn’t stop until she’s a few feet in front. She turns to face you, walking backwards with a huge, cheeky grin._

“ _Sorry to keep you waiting, just had to finish up.”_

“ _Nice neck,” you smirk at her hickey, shocked at how steady your voice sounds._

“ _You enjoy the show?” She teases without pause. You're thankful for the lack of light as your face heats up. When you don’t answer quick enough she adds, “If you wanted to join, all you had to do was ask.”_

“ _Shut up,” you roll your eyes. You'd never taken Ashlyn's teasing to be serious. Even now, you know she's playing, but you can't get her hooded eyes out of your head. You look down, partly so you don't trip in the sand and partly so you don't have to feel her stare._

_"You're so cute," she laughs, and the sound is as genuine as it would be on the sideline of a blowout scrimmage. Ashlyn stops walking and you only look up when you're about to bump into her. You shove her shoulders back and she puts her hands up in surrender as she stumbles backwards. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry," she laughs again, falling in line beside you. You keep walking. "Did you have fun?”_

“ _Yeah, thanks for bringing me along,” you say honestly._

_"Please, we've been trying to get you out with us for years. Did any boys pass the test?" You chuckle and shake your head. "Geez, Kriegs, you're gonna have to start switching teams."_

_"Stop trying to get in my pants," you laugh, proud of yourself for finally biting back._

_"I think I was halfway there a few minutes ago," she smirks and you audibly grunt, taking a sharp turn to take some space. You hate that, for a second, you're forced to remember how mesmerized you were watching her against that wall. She catches up to you with two big steps, laughter still on her lips. "You're so cocky," you roll your eyes, clearly frustrated._

_"You know I'm only messing. Like Warrior Princess would ever give me that honor,” she chuckles, offering you a soft smile._

“ _Damn right,” you finally offer, laughter on your lips._

_You see Whitney's car and, as soon as you both climb in, you never mention the last scene again._

 

 

“Kriegs,” her voice breaks you from your thought. Her eyes are raking over your legs and you quickly remember her last comment. _You really do look great._ You feel the heat rushing to your cheeks, part from the memory and part from the older blonde in front of you.

“Yeah, yeah,” you roll your eyes, not giving into her Harris games. But she takes a step towards you.

“I'm serious.” Her voice is steady but her smirk keeps growing. You roll your eyes and she chuckles a bit. “God, I missed you,” she laughs. “Nobody gets my humor like Kriegs.” She opens her arms for a hug and you walk into it, realizing you haven't been able to cuddle with friends since graduation. Her arms wrap around you and, for the second time, you find yourself thinking about the size of her arms. She feels so solid. Before you realize you're taking in her scent, Ashlyn drops her arm and backs up. “Let's go eat.”

 

You can't stop laughing. The three of you fill dinner with stories of college and the past year. You talk soccer, moving on from the sport, and the transition into the real world. You talk families, you talk friends. Then, once Whitney's done talking about her long-time boyfriend Ryan, she asks.

“You're not seeing Kelsey anymore?” Ashlyn's voice is soft but direct.

“Didn't work out,” you shrug, not wanting to go more in depth than that. “I'm good now,” you promise.

“So,” she drags out. “Was that it for you, or will there be more ladies in your future?”

“Nope, definitely gay,” you laugh. Her eyebrows shoot up, clearly surprised.

“Are you seeing anyone right now?” Whitney chimes in, her eyes widening. A smile forms on your lips and Whitney just about squeals.

“Well, sort of,” you grin, Tara coming to mind. “Nothing official. Just a few dates. We're still getting to know each other.”

“Well, I'm happy for you,” Whit smiles. “I hope it works out.”

“What about you, Ash?” You ask.

“Nope,” she just shrugs. “You know how it is.”

“Can't be tamed,” Whitney rolls her eyes and Ashlyn playfully shrugs.

“You mean you still haven't dated anyone seriously?”

“Define serious?” She says as though she's really contemplating.

“Please, when Ash falls, she falls hard,” Whit laughs. “That's the _real_ reason she won't date. Doesn't want to ruin her image.”

 

Three glasses of wine later, the three of you head up to Ashlyn's room because she's the only one with a smart TV. She turns on Netflix and lands on some old episode of _Orange is the New Black_ as you all cuddle up in bed. You lean against Whitney's shoulder before Ashlyn crashes down beside you.

“I need cuddles, too!” Her arm swoops around your waist and, with your buzz settling in, you find yourself melting into her a bit.

“You have to share!” Whit complains.

“Please, you have Ryan,” Ash rolls her eyes.

The three of you lay there, cuddling like you're still seventeen at a tournament. You smile at the memory, your hand finding Whit's. You must stir her because she jumps a bit.

“Sorry,” you whisper, realizing she had fallen asleep.

“I'm gonna have to tap out,” she laughs as she notes the small pile of drool on the pillow.

“Gross!” Ash laughs.

“I'm sorry, I'm exhausted! I've got work in the morning,” she sighs. She gives you a huge hug, her sleepiness evident in the way her weight falls onto you. “I'm seeing you again this week, okay? You're not getting away again, Kriegs.”

“Yes, mam,” you laugh.

“Stay?” Ashlyn gives you a puppy dog smile as Whitney leaves. “One more episode at least?” You need your buzz to wear off a bit before you can drive, so you shrug.

“Let me pee.”

When you get back from the bathroom, Ashlyn is sitting up on the bed, her back propped against pillows. Her legs are laid out in front and she pats the space between them. When she sees your hesitance, she adds a playful, “pleaaase?” Your body language lets her know you've already given in and she lets out a small, “wee!”

“Has it really been that long?” You tease as you crawl into her lap, your back pressing against her chest. Her arms fall around your waist, her chin resting on your shoulder.

“Don't act like you'd turn down the chance to cuddle anyone—especially with these guns,” she smirks as if she knows how frequently her arms have been a topic in your mind.

“You did bulk up,” you admit as you turn to face her, suddenly aware of how close her face is. You turn back immediately and she tightens her arms around your waist.

“Relax,” she whispers. “It's just me.”

It's just Ashlyn, you remind yourself. Ashlyn. One of your closest friends, one of your goofiest friends.

“I know,” you try in a steady voice, hoping not to give yourself away.

“Then why can't you look at me?” She plays, her voice increasingly becoming lighter. You turn your head to the side, your brazen eyes meeting hers. She's biting her lip and you do everything you can not to look. When have you _ever_ wanted to look at her lips?

“See?” You huff once you feel like you've proved your point. You turn back towards the TV and Ashlyn giggles, the sound sending chills down your spine. You both fall silent for a bit, her hand landing on top of yours. As her fingers lace into yours, you realize how fast your heart is racing. Ashlyn Harris's effect on you has never been this strong. Or maybe, you think, you've never been able to recognize it. Not like she has.

Her body adjusts beneath you so that her head rests on your right shoulder.

“Damn, she's so hot,” Ashlyn breathes as Ruby Rose crosses your screen.

“I know,” you sigh.

“So what's your type?” She asks. Her voice is softer now, her thumb brushing across the back of your hand. You shrug, realizing halfway through that you just nudged Ashlyn in the jaw.

“Sorry,” you mumble softly but she just smiles. “I don't really have one,” you admit. “But I love confidence. Quiet confidence is so sexy.” You're biting your lip. Between Ruby on your screen and Ashlyn's muscles pressed against you, you're just about ready to excuse yourself.

“Aren't you going to ask me mine?” She teases.

“Let me guess, _beautiful women,”_ you chuckle, knowing well enough just how wide the blonde's range goes. Her free hand brushes your loose hair onto your left shoulder, removing the barrier between her and your skin. Goosebumps erupt on your neck.

“I told you, know one knows me quite like you.” You can hear the grin on lips. “I missed you,” she adds.

“I missed you, too,” you admit. She relaxes more onto your shoulder, her nose brushing against the back of your ear.

 

You find comfort in her contact for a moment, fixating on Piper's current rant. It's not until you feel a sharp breath that you realize her lips are resting against your skin. She stays still for what feels like minutes and you think maybe she's fallen asleep. Slowly, with you barely noticing, her lips part slightly and the sensation hits the crook of your neck. In the smallest movements, her lips close on your skin before she gently kisses a spot above it. She stays frozen there again. You focus only on your breathing, not sure if what you're feeling is actually real. She wets her lips and takes in a tiny bit of your skin. You shudder at the contact and, with less pause, Ashlyn finds your pulse point. Gentle as ever, she kisses the spot until a soft moan falls from your lips.

 

You don't know why you can't pull yourself away. Just like your gaze six years ago on the beach, you can't pull yourself away. No, not Ashlyn. No. You know how she works. You try to say, “stop,” but instead you find yourself mumbling, “Ash.” She takes it as encouragement, her lips taking in more skin. Your breath hitches. You hear her giggle and, suddenly, you're able to yank your neck away.

She sits up, clearly surprised.

“Ash,” is all you can manage, your voice stern. You hate how much control she has over you. More than that, you hate that she knows it. “What are you doing?” Is all you can think to ask.

“Did you like it?” She asks, as if that's the only thing that matters.

“Ashlyn,” you say sharper, but it sounds like a pathetic attempt to scold a puppy. “You can't-- I don't-- I'm seeing someone,” is what you decide on and she tries not to roll her eyes.

“You said it yourself, it's not that serious,” she shrugs.

“Stop messing with me.” Your own words surprise you and, frankly, you're a bit embarrassed. She raises one eyebrow.

“Messing with you?”

“You're supposed to be my best friend!” Her eyes narrow as she studies you.

“Don't tell me you've never thought about it,” she offers, her voice steady as ever.

“No, I haven't!” You defend yourself honestly. Your frustration only builds as you realize how quick your heart rate is.

“Not even when you walked up on me at the barbecue?” The mention of that night almost hurts your ears, as if it were some sacred event that should never be spoken of aloud.

“No!”

“Bull shit,” she says, her voice remaining calm.

“I'm leaving,” you roll your eyes before hopping off the bed.

“Al, please sit down,” she asks, a new softness to her voice. Her eyes appear three shades lighter. She's pleading with you.

“Can we just talk about this later?” You offer. “I'm exhausted.”

“I'm sorry,” she shakes her head and, for the first time, disappointment washes over her face. “I didn't mean to upset you. I misread, I'm sorry. Just don't be mad, I'm so excited to have you back home.”

You sigh, knowing how impossible it is to stay mad at her. She stands to meet you and takes your hand in yours. She isn't fazed when you tense up. “Please come by tomorrow?”

“I have a date,” you tell her, bite apparent in your voice. Her lips turn upward at the mention.

“Okay, well Whit's having a belated birthday dinner Saturday night, she's going to want you there.”

“Then I'll be there for Whit.” The edge in your voice doesn't seem to bother her. She smiles, leading you down the stairs to your car.

“I'll see you on Saturday?” She confirms as she opens the front door. “I promise I'll be on my best behavior.” You can't help but chuckle at her stupid smirk. You roll your eyes for what feels like the tenth time tonight and walk out towards your car. Before you pull your door shut, Ashlyn shouts after you, grin in tact. “Enjoy your date!”

 


	2. Round Two

Her hand falls onto your knee, the tablecloth blocking your secret world from the rest of the dimly lit restaurant. Her touch makes your stomach flutter and you can't keep the smile from widening on your lips.

“You have the best smile,” she tells you earnestly, her blue eyes softening.

“Thanks,” you mumble, her hand slowly sliding up your thigh. She feels your muscles twitch and stops her hand from traveling further.

“I love how you go from so confident and bold to mumbling whenever I compliment you,” she laughs lightly. “It's so endearing.” Tara is beautiful. Stunning, even. You can't remember ever being so attracted to someone who expressed interest back. Her skin is consistently sun-kissed, her dark blonde hair thick and perfectly wavy. Her lips are full and you can't seem to look at them without wanting to kiss her.

“You're beautiful,” you find yourself blurting out. She smiles. It clearly isn't the first time she's heard it. The waiter walks over, placing the check on the table.

“Tara,” you sigh as soon as she reaches for it.

“It's your first week home,” she explains. “Let me treat you.” You can't ignore the fact that she bought dinner two days ago, too.

“Thank you, but I'm buying next time.”

“Next time?” She grins, though you both knew there would be a next time. She places her card in the slot and slides it to the edge of the table. “Are you happy to be back in Florida? You know, now that you've settled into your place and seen a few old friends?

Friends.

You've been trying your best to push Ashlyn to the back of your mind—a feat you've yet to conquer. Tara is more than you could ask for, yet you swear you can still feel a certain pair of lips on your neck. You've tried processing the events of last night but nothing makes sense. Why did she want to tease you like that? Why did she have to complicate one of the only friendships you have at home? Last night you wanted to turn the car around and scream at her, today you wanted to slap her, but more than anything, you want to know why you can't stop thinking about her.

Your mind is powerful, though. No matter how much it wants to, you won't let it wander to her lips. No, you won't let it wander to the way her biceps felt around you or the way she made your entire neck tingle.

Instead, you try to focus on why the _fuck_ she did that. Growing up, you always felt like the slightly behind, less experienced younger sister friend. You can't fathom the thought of Ashlyn seriously entertaining wanting you in that way, in fact, that thought doesn't even enter your mind. All you can remember are the countless times she's toyed with you.

Tara squeezes your thigh and you're brought back to dinner.

“Yeah,” you say unconvincingly, “I think it will be good for me.”

“I couldn't agree more,” she smiles.

 

Tara asks to drive you home and you gladly oblige. When she pulls up to your driveway you boldly invite her in but she reminds you of her early wake up call. Work is flying her up north for a meeting on Monday and, though she clearly wants you, she tells you she'd prefer to spend the night when you do take that step. It all feels a bit formal, you think. In college, your conversations didn't flow this way. But what do you know, you've only been in the real-world for a week now.

“How about something to remember me by?” She smirks, her lips connecting with yours. You've already kissed but, until now, it had been chaste. This, this is a whole new level. Her hand is tugging your neck towards her, your body leaning across the center console. She tightens her grip as she peppers kisses down your neck. You hate that, for the quickest second, you're reminded of last night. As soon as she bites down though, it's Tara's name spilling from your lips, not Ashlyn's. She pulls away, tucking her lips into her mouth. Her thumb brushes over your freshly bitten skin as she examines it.

“Sorry,” she blushes. “Got a bit carried away.”

You don't have to look in the mirror to see the mark—you can feel it.

“Guess I won't forget,” you chuckle as you lean in for a hug. “I'll see you next week, then?” She smiles, clearly happy you've confirmed another date after she had to turn you down tonight.

“I'm looking forward to it.” You give her a soft kiss on the lips before stepping out of her car. As you're about to close it, she calls your name. “I'll be thinking about you,” she smiles, her eyes suddenly darker than before. Heat rises to your cheeks.

“Call me when you're back.” You smile on your way inside as you realize that, for the first date in months, you didn't think about Kelsey once.

 

 

* * *

 

 

You adjust your tight black dress around your quads as you hop out of the car. Your hair is down and wavy around your shoulders. After Whitney had texted that you'd be going out for drinks after, you thought you better dress a bit nicer for the occasion. You opted for a slight heel, one that is more than comfortable to walk in.

You spent the day ignoring the thought of Ashlyn, knowing full well you'd have to act normal tonight around the group of friends.You're relieved when Whitney answers the door.

“Kriegs!” She sings, her cheeks already red from the drink in her hand. “You look incredible!” She pulls you into a hug, careful not to spill her drink on you. She's wearing a similar cut dress in a deep red and you notice how fit she looks. You hand her a bottle of tequila, her favorite if you remember correctly. By her cheers you know you've done well.

“Come in, you've got to meet everyone.”

You're quickly met with Tobin, a familiar face who offers a hug.

“Good to see you, dude. So happy you're in Florida, the girls can't say enough good things about you.”

“You, too,” you smile. “I hear we'll be working together a bit.”

“Hell yeah!” She pulls a beautiful brunette towards her. “This is Christen,” she grins. “She actually played at Stanford, pretty new to town, too.”

“Oh, welcome!” You shake her hand. Her grin is contagious and she tells you how nice it is to meet you. You're distracted when the familiar blonde descends the stairwell. She has a pretty brunette by her side and pays you no attention.

“This is Ryan,” Whit grabs your hand and introduces you to her longtime boyfriend.

“It's great to meet you,” he smiles and you immediately know he's a sweetheart. He pulls you into a hug. “I can't believe it's taken this long!”

“Me too,” you laugh, returning the greeting.

“Can I get you a drink?” He offers and, before you agree, he's pouring the tequila you brought. Dinner looks like it's going to be self-serve and you see a few people making their plates. You start to walk over when you feel a tug on your arm.

“Ali,” Ashlyn smiles, as if you've been hanging around the house all night. “This is Alex,” she points to the pretty brunette. She reaches her hand out and you shake it.

“I love your dress,” she smiles. “And your eye make up.”

“Oh, thanks,” you grin, proud that someone noticed. You've spent the past four years honing your skills with teammates.

“This is silly but, before we head out, do you think you can do mine? Are you good at other people's?”

“Absolutely” you laugh. “Learned a lot in college.” Alex fist pumps into the air and you chuckle. “Does princess want a little something on her eyes?” You tease Ashlyn. She just flips her perfectly, ocean swept hair.

“Like I need it.” Alex elbows her playfully and, for a second, you wonder if there's something between them. Alex starts making herself a dinner plate and you turn to Ashlyn. She's wearing black skinny jeans that bunch around her also black mid-height sneakers. Her matching black tee hugs her torso and the only color on her body is in form of a rose gold watch. For the first time, you find yourself checking out the intricacies of her tattoos. You'd seen pictures since her sleeve had been completed so when you saw her yesterday, it wasn't a surprise. Yet, tonight, you suddenly have the urge to reach out and trace them. Instead, you take a swig of your drink.

“Can I get you a plate?” She asks.

“I've got it.”

 

You socialize with one of Ryan's friends throughout dinner. He's a nice guy from North Carolina and you're more than relieved when he mentions his girlfriend back home. You're actually enjoying the conversation when Alex sneaks up on you.

“Excuse me,” she sneaks in. “Sorry, Ali, when you're done could I borrow you for a bit? For the makeup?”

“Sure,” you giggle, excusing yourself. You follow her upstairs and she leads you into Ashlyn's room. Ashlyn's trying on snapbacks when you enter, deeply focused on getting her hair just right. Alex sits on the open desk chair and hands you her bag of makeup.

“You're seriously a lifesaver. My roommate did my eye makeup every time we went out and I just graduated and now I feel helpless.” You crack up knowing her pain.

“I just graduated, too. I'm glad to help.” You look at navy dress and fumble through her makeup until you pull out her eyeliner. You squat down trying to level yourself but can't get the angle right.

“I'm sorry,” you laugh, realizing what you're about to ask. “I've always—is it okay if I straddle you?” You say it in the least sexual voice you can, though you know your word choice doesn't help. Alex seems to get it and laughs.

“Of course,” she pats her lap. You slide out of your heels and sit on the edge of her thighs, your legs straddling her and the chair as you bunch your dress up a bit.

“Sorry, this is the only way I can ever get my hand steady.”

“This is how my roommate does it, too,” she promises you, easing the situation. You use your hand to steady her chin as she closes her eyes. You're both silent as you focus.

“Damn ladies,” Ashlyn's voice breaks through. She finally picked the perfect snapback and turned to find you on her friend's lap. By the way Alex rolls her eyes, you know she's used to these comments.

“No chance,” Alex turns to her with a glare.

“Is she always like this?” You grin, happy another woman is in the room to ease the tension.

“Pretty much all the time.”

“You're giving me too much credit,” Ashlyn laughs. “Seriously though, when you're over McDouche Face I'd be happy to take you out for a night.” Her light voice let you know she's kidding and, for once, has no real intention of sleeping with Alex.

“Rough breakup?” You ask Alex. She just shrugs.

“I did it,” she tells you. “It wasn't working anymore.” Suddenly, Ashlyn's on the edge of her bed, less than two feet from you both, her voice serious.

“What wasn't _working_ was that he wasn't treating Alex the way she deserves to be treated.” Alex rolls her eyes, but Ashlyn doesn't stop. “She's crazy smart, talented, passionate and selfless as hell and this sorry excuse for a dude was acting like taking her out was a freaking _chore!_ ” Ashlyn's heated and you're suddenly reminded of what makes her such a great friend. She's the most loyal, passionate and supporting person you may have in your life—besides your immediate family.

“We get it,” Alex sighs, clearly fed up of talking about this guy.

“Yeah, well, I'm not gonna lay off until you believe it,” Ashlyn shrugs.

Conversation falls quiet while you finish Alex's eyes. She turns to the mirror and practically squeals, pulling you into a hug.

“Thank you! Wow, this is amazing. You are a queen!” She's putting her make up into the bag when Ashlyn stands up from her bed.

“Time for one more?” She grins. You chuckle, not taking her seriously. “Come on,” she whines. “You've been waiting for the day that I _asked_ you to do my make up for years!” Alex turns to you.

“You better jump on this opportunity,” she laughs. “Girl doesn't let anyone touch her face.” You sigh, pointing to the chair. While her presence has calmed you most of the night, you also don't really want to be this close to her. Not yet, at least. You haven't addressed anything with her.

Ashlyn sits on the chair, the corner of her lip turned up. You try to kneel in front of her but Alex turns toward the two of you with a questioning look. Ashlyn pats her lap the same way Alex had and you audibly groan. The two girls chuckle. You cautiously hike your dress up enough to allow your legs to wrap around her thighs and, without pause, her hands land on each of your thighs. Her keeper grip easily covers your quads.

“I'm gonna go grab a drink,” Alex excuses herself. “You guys want one?”

“No thanks,” Ash mumbles but you quickly ask for a mixed drink, not wanting to be left alone with the blonde for too long.

You fumble through her surprisingly vast make up supply, checking the colors in her eyes for a good match.

“I don't think you need my help,” you smile as you grab a handful of makeup.

“I wanted it,” she shrugs, her hands still attached to your legs. You try to create space between the two of you but Ashlyn pulls you closer.

“What color do you want,” you ask sharply holding out three different options. She points to one.

“Are we going to talk?” She looks up at you expectedly. You don't look back, suddenly aware of how close you've become. Your legs feel warm atop hers.

“Not at Whitney's party.” She examines you as you fiddle with the makeup.

“ _Shit_ ,” she mumbles, her eyes locking on your clearly visible, even with concealer, bite mark. Your hand shoots to your neck. “Did I do that?”

“What?” You ask, confused for a second. _Oh, right._ “No,” you say, edge in your voice. “No, I had a date, remember?” In that moment, you're grateful for your sass. Her eyebrows raise. “Shut your eyes,” you tell her. You scoot forward, gripping her chin as you steady your hand. Her hands slide up your thighs slightly. You want to hit her hands away, but part of you also doesn't want her to know it's getting to you. Instead, you lean in further. For a brief moment, you think you hear her breath hitch.

“Did you tell Whit?” She asks, her eyes still shut.

“No,” you mumble, not wanting to get into any of this.

“Al, I am really sorry.” You drop your hand and sit back as she opens her eyes to look at you. You didn't remember them being so transparent.

“I'm not talking about this now. Close your eyes.”

“Not talking about what?” Alex asks as she pops through the door. She hands you your drink. Tobin is lingering behind in the doorway.

“Nothing,” you quickly shrug. “Is everyone almost ready?”

“Just waiting on you two.”

 

* * *

 

Ryan buys the table a round of shots when you arrive and, after chugging your drink at Whit's, you're sufficiently buzzed. You're leaning over the bar when Christen taps you on the shoulder with a bright smile.

"Tobin said you're working at Wild Fox? That's how I met her! I'm doing some freelance stuff for them!" You think her teeth alone could light up the room.

"No way! Yes, that's awesome! How often are you there?"

"Three days a week right now so I'm sure we'll be seeing each other." Tobin slides in between you, a drink in each hand. She hands you both a glass and raises hers, "to co-worker friends!" You laugh as you sip what you think is straight whisky. Tobin quickly becomes distracted talking to Christen so you look around for your friends. They're grabbing a round booth table in the back and you make your way towards them. You see Alex sliding in on the end and try to scoot in next to her but she bumps into Ryan and can't move in any further.

"Other side," she points towards Ash and you silently sigh, sliding into the other opening. Ashlyn offers you a friendly smile and you stop a foot short of her.

"I don't bite," she says lowly when the conversation moves towards Whitney. Her eyes drop to your neck. "Though it appears someone else does." You don't have to look up at her to know she's smirking, it's present in her voice.

You relax only when you realize the entire table is engaged with each other. Ryan's talking about the first night Whitney ever drank around him. He's in the middle of embarrassing her when his friend Christian you'd been speaking with earlier, paired with a guy you haven't met, slide in next to you. With no choice, you're forced to squeeze closer to Ashlyn. The sides of your thighs, bare from your dress riding up, are making full contact with both Ashlyn and Christian. You barely notice the strong man's leg to your right, you're too busy worrying that your left thigh may be on fire. You try to ignore it but when Ashlyn leans into Whit for a picture, breaking contact with your leg, you suddenly feel naked. You instinctively move closer to her until you feel the fabric of her pants against you. If Ashlyn notices, she doesn't say anything. In fact, she hardly says a word to you. She's not exactly ignoring you. When you make a joke to the table she turns to laugh with you, but she keeps to herself through most of the conversation.

It's not until Whitney, one too many in, decides she wants to dance, that the two of you find each other at the bar.

"Not in the mood to dance?" She asks as you try to grab the bartender's attention. You shrug and she flags the bartender down with one quick wave.

"Ash," the small girl with black hair and piercing green eyes smiles. She look at the blonde like they're long lost friends. "I haven't seen you in awhile." Ashlyn smiles, polite as ever, and tells the girl "work has been crazy." Then she turns to you.

"What're you drinking?"

"Tequila," you say after a thoughtful pause.

"Amber, grab this lady a glass of the nicest tequila you can find. The usual for me," she smiles. "Put it on my tab."

"Ash," you say with soft eyes. "You didn't have to do that." Ashlyn practically scoffs.

"Are you kidding? Of course I did." You give a slightly confused look but before she can respond Amber returns with your drink. You don't miss the wink she gives your friend. "Look," Ashlyn turns to you when the bartender dissapears, "I know you don't want to talk about it right now, so we won't, just know I'm sorry." Her voice is softer, maybe even somber you think.

"Thanks," is all you can think to mumble before clinking your glass with hers. A grin explodes on her face as if you've officially pardoned her. You both sip silently for a second before your eyes lock on Tobin. Her hand is locked w Christen's as they dance like they've known each other's bodies for years.

"They just met?" You confirm. Ashlyn nods with a chuckle.

"I know. Tobin's got it bad." Her words take a moment to catch up with you.

"Ohhh," you breath. "And Christen?" Ashlyn watches you watch them intently.

"Tobs isn't sure she swings that way. She's still feeling it out.” You can't feel Ashlyn's eyes on you, you're too busy focusing on Christen.

"She seems to be enjoying herself," you shrug, turning back to your friend. You smile, hiding behind your almost empty tequila. Ashlyn's eyes seem fixated on you, but not in a way you're familiar with.

"Dance with me?" She asks as she places her glass down. Before you can answer she adds, "I won't try anything, I promise." You chuckle, the alcohol settling your nerves. In fact, with the alcohol pumping through your blood, things feel normal again. You grab Ashlyn's hand and pull her out to join your friends. She goes off course for a second to smack Tobin's ass and you pull her back towards you with a slight eye-roll, but laughter still spills from your lips.

You're surprised when Ashlyn lets you take lead. She doesn't reach for your hand or try to pull you close. Instead, she almost looks timid. You know that's not the case. No, she's just being cautious. She can't afford to scare you off again. You think about dancing next to her or maybe face to face with minimal contact. You've only been standing next to her for about four seconds when a small, Guido-looking male comes up behind you. Your hands instinctually interlock with Ashlyn's. As if she can read your mind, she pulls your hands up around her shoulders to pull you closer, her hands gentle on your hips. In a quick maneuver, she places her back between you and the short Guido. He takes the hint and spins the other way.

“Thank you,” you mumble against her ear. She goes to step back from you but you lock your hands behind her neck. Her eyebrows lift slightly as if to confirm that, yes, this is okay. Still, her hips move slowly and her hands merely graze yours. You don't know if it's the alcohol or the sudden thrill of power you feel over her, but you press your front further into her.

“Al,” you hear her breath, though it doesn't feel directed towards you. A smirk grows on your lips as your hips move against her along to the bass of some rap song you've never heard. Her hands tighten on your hips, but only as if to stable herself. You turn so your back is pressed against her. You get low, thankful your powerful quads allow you to stay there as long as you want. Whit, who is pressed up against Ryan in a similar fashion, shouts out, “Get it, Kriegs!” You laugh, noting how good it feels to let loose. It's not until Ashlyn's hands, now firm on your waist, spin you to face her. You're quickly upright, your hips against hers. Your eyes widen as soon as you see how hooded her eyes are. She leans into your ear.

“You don't want to start this,” she husks. The vibration against your ear sends chills down your neck. You only let her get ahold of you for a second before you lean back with a raised brow.

“No?” You challenge and, goddammit Ali, you don't know where it comes from. Feeling like, even for a second, you have power over her—over Ashlyn fucking Harris—is more emboldening than you could ever imagine. You've waited for this feeling since Ashlyn leaned her arm onto your second-grade shoulder and smirked a, “What's up, squirt?” in your direction. Your arms, draped around her neck, tighten a bit. When her breath hitches you lean into her ear. “I'm pretty sure _you_ started this,” you remind her, your hot breath lingering near her skin. Her hand hesitantly lowers down the small of your back. If the other night was round one, you think, you aren't getting knocked out in round two. No, you're in this round.

You don't know if it's the alcohol or if it's how close your bodies are pressed or if it's Ashlyn's strong hands on your body but without you realizing it, your lips are grazing the crook of her neck. It's not until Ashlyn's body tenses under you that you come to. By then, it's too late. You've already kissed her neck. You can't let her know that it wasn't intentional, that you got carried away. You pull away, smirk on your lips. Her eyes are darker than you remember, her mouth agape. Her eyes flicker to your lips and, for a second, you're both thinking the same thing. When her eyes raise back up to yours, power rushes to your head and you drop your arms from around her. Your smirk grows and, as Ashlyn lets out a choppy breath, you lean back towards her ear to whisper.

“Keep dreaming.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kind comments/messages!! PLEASE do let me know if you're enjoying or what you're thinking. Love ya'll. xx


	3. Her Game

You finish the last drop of wine, exhaustion hitting your body, as your eyes meet Tara's. You lean back onto the couch, your body language clearly changing the mood. Tara chuckles.

“Not so fast,” she smiles, her hand falling to your exposed knee. “You haven't finished telling me about work?” You groan, a small smirk growing on her lips.

“It was great. Works great, the people are great, it's all great,” you try to move the conversation along, your hand searching for her lower back.

“Somebody a bit ancy?” She quirks and eyebrow and you can't take it any longer. You scoot closer to her so your hips are touching.

“I've waited too long,” you whisper, your sexual frustration apparent. You don't tell her that your need to be touched only grew this weekend from the presence of a different, broader, more familiar blonde. Your lean in and Tara takes the hint, her lips crashing into yours.

 

She's not what you expected. No, nothing about her is chaste and you find yourself wanting more. And more.

“Al, it's almost three in the morning,” she giggles against your lips. Your eyes dart to the clock and when you see, shit, it's 2:43 AM, you resign.

“Damn.”

“Don't worry, I'll make you extra coffee in the morning,” she promises with a kiss. You curl into her side, ignoring the way she feels still for the slightest second. You think maybe she wants to be held instead, so you turn towards her.

“No, let me,” she smiles softly, her arms draping over your side as you drift off.

 

* * *

 

“Ali?” A hand waves across your face and your eyes focus.

“Oh, sorry,” you mumble, sitting up right. Heather laughs and you're grateful it was only your co-worker.

“It's okay,” she smiles. “We're about to start brainstorming for the new campaign. They're giving Victoria's Secret a run for their money,” she grins. “Follow me, you can meet our freelancers before we start.”

You follow Heather, who insists you call her HAO, into a conference room and see a familiar Christen talking with your co-worker Pinoe. She's one of the funniest people you've met since you've returned home and you're so glad you've been placed on a team with her and HAO.

“Ali!” Christen smiles when she sees you, walking towards you for a hug.

“Oh, good, you've met!” HAO smiles.

“How're you liking it so far?” Christen asks.

“It's been great. These guys have made it so fun.”

“Wild Fox is great,” she agrees. You are both about to grab a seat when a heavy-breathing blonde rushes into the room, folders filled with paper tucked under her arm.

“Sorry I'm late,” Ashlyn apologizes, her hair wavy and loose. It's the first time you've seen her since you left her hanging this weekend and your throat suddenly feels dry. She's in all black, as per usual, with wingtip boots to complete her look. “Traffic was crazy.” She turns to you only after she catches her breath. “Hey, Al,” she smiles casually, no trace of the weekend in her eyes.

“How the heck do you two know each other?” Pinoe asks, and you miss the insinuation in her voice.

“Kriegs and I go way back, played soccer together here.”

“No way,” HAO laughs. She turns to you. “Ash and I played at UNC.”

“So you know Tobin, too?” Christen interject, red rushing to her cheeks almost instantly. Ashlyn smirks.

“What a small world,” HAO laughs with a nod.

“Well what a killer team,” Ashlyn sits next to Pinoe as they fist bump. The other girls take their place and, there you are, in between Ashlyn and HAO. Before HAO has a chance to explain how brainstorm meetings typically go at Wild Fox, Pinoe is pulling out a bunch of sample images.

“Have you guys seen this stuff?” She spreads the photos out across the round table, her eyebrows arching up.

“Damn,” Ashlyn laughs as she pulls one towards you. The photo features a thin, bronzed brunette in a small, red hot lingerie set. As you look at the other photos, you find other thin women in similarly tiny bra and underwear sets. You think right away how hard they're trying to be Victoria's Secret.

“Great day in the office,” Pinoe jokes and her and Ashlyn start chuckling to themselves.

“Okay, horn-dogs,” HAO rolls her eyes. “Keep it together. The brand is called Joelle and, basically, they've figured out a way to create high quality lingerie—like, better than Victoria's Secret quality—for a better price than VS. But their marketing is a mess. They haven't picked up any press yet. Take a look over the photos for a few minutes and then we'll get talking.” HAO excuses herself for a moment and Ashlyn nudges you.

“What do you think?” She points to the undeniably beautiful brunette.

“Not my type,” you roll your eyes, unsurprised that even at work Ashlyn is still Ashlyn.

“No?” She asks, her eyes narrowing onto the image. You just shrug, but relax when you see that Pinoe and Christen are analyzing the blonde in the image in front of them.

“I'm sure you'd love a piece of her,” you mumble and Ashlyn grins.

“I'm not an animal,” she teases back. “Plus, she could use a bit of muscle on her if you ask me.” For a fleeting moment, you feel her eyes running down your body but it's over so quickly you're not sure if you imagined it.

“Ash, look at this girl,” Pinoe pushes a red head towards her. “She looks just like Annie.” Ashlyn laughs.

“Damn, she's haunting you.” Pinoe looks up to you and Christen.

“Crazy ex,” she explains as she flips the image over as if she feels the woman looking at her. “What about you guys, you seeing anyone right now?” She turns to Christen first and her eyes fall to her lap as she shakes her head.

“No, not right now. Very single.” You all can tell that she won't reveal any more so Pinoe turns to you.

“I am” you admit. “It's still new.”

“You're still seeing her?” Ashlyn turns to you, though she masks the surprise in her voice.

“I am,” you repeat. She just nods.

“Her?” Pinoe grins. “Oh yeah, welcome to the squad.” Ashlyn rolls her eyes and slaps her arm with the back of her hand. You chuckle as HAO walks back into the room.

“Guys,” she calls for your attention as a stunning, five-foot-nothing woman follows her in. She's petite, but she is by no means frail. Her hair is a light brown with blonde streaks naturally running throughout. Her skin is lightly tanned and her eyes are blue—a striking dark blue. “This,” HAO points, “is Joelle.”

You don't need to look around the room to know that all four of you are locked on the woman. She is captivating in a way you've never seen by someone of her stature.

“Joelle,” Pinoe stands and you all follow, heading to shake her hand. “As in, _the_ Joelle.” You all chuckle at Pinoe's terrible attempt at flirting but Joelle seems to miss it. She smiles and shakes her hand.

“Just Joelle is fine.” Her teeth are sparkling, giving Christen's grin a run for it's money. Christen introduces herself as “Christen the copywriter” and Joelle steps closer to Ashlyn. None of you miss the way her eyes run up the blonde's body, or the way they linger on her impressive sleeve. Ashlyn reaches her hand out and you gulp at how strong her voice sounds.

“I'm Ashlyn,” she smiles. “Graphic designer.” Joelle takes her hand and smiles.

“Pleasure to meet you,” she tells her, and you all notice how her voice drops an octave when addressing the blonde. After what feels like a full minute, she turns to you to introduce herself. You think for a second she looks you up and down, too, but it's nothing compared to the way she just mentally disrobed Ashlyn.

Joelle gives a quick brief of her company—the groundbreaking technology and new price point, the online subscription platform, the endless styles and inclusive sizing. You'd be lying if you said you weren't captivated. Not only is she stunning, she's also brilliant. Christen pays attention fiercely, Pinoe jots down a few ideas and Ashlyn is taking notes diligently. You try not to pay attention to her but her focus surprises you. You've never pictured her in a work setting. Her elbow brushes against your forearm a few times and you ignore the way heat transfers onto your skin.

 

“Well,” HAO says when Joelle's finished her spiel. “What do you guys think? Any ideas?” There's a pause before Pinoe speaks up.

“It's awesome,” she says, looking at the images. “I mean, the product looks great and the company is clearly a winner. I think it's just positioning we've got to work with. I would definitely suggest you up online advertising, especially with your subscription service.” Joelle nods, jotting down a note. Christen agrees, adding something about highlighting the variety in products. Ashlyn flips her sketchpad towards Joelle, showing a few new branded logos she's already prepared.

“These aren't right,” she says, “but I would suggest considering a new logo. Something that fits whatever we decide will work best positioning wise. The current look could definitely use an upgrade.” Joelle points to one she particularly likes, a delicate cursive design. Her eyes flutter up to Ashlyn's before HAO coughs a bit.

“Anyone have thoughts on positioning?”

“Well these pictures are definitely on the right track,” Pinoe smiles. “I mean, sex sells.” Ashlyn and Joelle laugh before HAO turns to you. “What do you think, Al?” You look hard at the image before saying what you've been thinking the whole meeting.

“I agree with what everyone said earlier,” you look up at Joelle. “I mean, the product is perfect, the online platform is groundbreaking, really. I just—I'm not,” you take a breath, not wanting to insult anyone, but Joelle's eyes are soft. She's open for any opinions. “I really think you need to differentiate yourself from the big guy if you want to take any market share. I think this could be huge, but you aren't going to gain any customers if you try and be what Victoria's Secret already is, you get what I'm saying?” You ask.

“Go on,” she encourages, clearly intrigued.

“You're already there with the brand—inclusive sizing, more variety, better price point, etcetera. The assets need to reflect this. You need more body types. You need a lingerie brand that doesn't sexualize the woman. Empower, sure, but not sexualize. The image should be for women who want to wear the product, not for the men who want to fantasize about it. I don't know, I just think that has a better shot at getting a hold of the market you're looking for. Anyone fed up with Victoria's Secret culture will love this. A _real_ brand for real women.”

There's radio silence. You look around, all eyes are on Joelle. Hers bore into you. She licks her lips and, for a second, you forget where you are. God, what is wrong with you?

“I love it,” Joelle nods. “Do you guys really think that could work?” She looks around the table and, slowly, praises come in.

“I think it fits perfectly,” Christen adds and HAO quickly agrees. HAO types up some notes and Joelle checks her watch.

“Well, how about this. Why don't we all work on some ideas on how to convey this for our launch and meet up next week. Say, Wednesday?” You all rise to your feet to see her out. “I knew I picked the right team. I've heard great things about this place and you didn't dissapoint. Thank you SO much,” she turns towards you at the end with a soft smile. “I'm so excited to work with you all. If any of you are around tonight, I'm grabbing a drink at Cantina on the corner around six.” She smiles at you, then her gaze lands on Ashlyn, her eyes suddenly intensifying. Ashlyn offers her a nod. You all say your final goodbyes before HAO sees her out. As soon as the door shuts, Pinoe loses her shit, laughter filling the room.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She slaps the back of Ashlyn's head. “You _have_ to go to drinks.”

“Me?” Ashlyn laughs. “She was getting ready to jump Ali at the end.”

“What?” You throw your hands up. “No way. She liked my idea but she _wants_ you.” Ashlyn rolls her eyes but you elbow her. “Please. Look at her, you know you would.”

“Maybe if she wasn't our client,” Ashlyn laughs.

“Who cares,” Pinoe raises her hands in disbelief. “Did you _see_ her?”

“Keep it together, girl,” Ashlyn laughs at the blonde. Christen stiffles her laughter.

“At least go meet her for a drink.”

“Nothing good will come from that,” Ashlyn shakes her head. “One drink in and I'll lose my morals,” she smirks.

“Exactly!” Pinoe laughs. Ashlyn organizes her papers and gets ready to head out.

“I've heard enough, “ she laughs. “Ladies,” she nods towards you and Christen. “As always, it's been a pleasure.” Pinoe rolls her eyes but you all gather your belongings and follow her out. As you reach the end of the hall, Pinoe turns towards her office.

“See you gals tomorrow,” she smiles as she turns on her heels. Christen excuses herself to the restroom and suddenly you and Ashlyn are alone near the exit.

“You were great in there,” she tells you with an earnest voice. “I can see how you landed this job.”

“Thanks,” you smile, slight heat in your cheeks. “So were you. It's a bit strange seeing you in work mode,” you admit. “But you were great. I mean, those logos took you thirty seconds and, wow.” She just laughs, the compliment rolling right off her back. She checks her watch. 4:50.

“Want to grab a drink?” She asks bluntly. You're a bit taken aback. It's not until she asks that you remember what happened the last time you drank together. Still, you find yourself letting her persuade you. “Come on, a celebratory drink. Your first week, big meeting. You killed it.”

“I have to finish--”

“Okay, meet me there,” she shrugs. “How about Isaac's or Swank. Anywhere but Cantina,” she smirks. You giggle.

“Fine, I'll meet you at Isaac's in thirty.” Ashly nods and turns on her heels.

“See ya there, squirt!” She calls over her shoulder.

 

* * *

 

You can't decide why you agreed to meet Ashlyn. Sure, she's one of your best friends, but given the past two times you've seen her, you know better than agreeing to be alone with the blonde. Maybe, you think, it's because of the lack of sleep Tara left you with. Or maybe it's the power you felt leaving her on the dance floor like that. Or maybe it was the way she acted like nothing had happened. Or, you think, it was how Joelle looked at her.

None of it matters now. No. You're already inside Isaac's locating your friend. It takes you all of three seconds to find her because, as annoying as it is, you've always gravitated towards her. She's at the bar talking to the tattooed brunette behind the bar. She's undeniably straight, you think, but her and Ashlyn seem to be intimately discussing Ashlyn's sleeve. You sit beside her and Ashlyn perks up.

“Hey,” she smiles as if she's surprised to see you.

“Didn't think I'd show?” You laugh. She just shrugs.

“You're full of surprises recently,” she jokes and suddenly Saturday night is hanging between you. Ashlyn turns to the bartender. “Would you grab my friend your favorite tequila? On the rocks,” she asks and you note that she remembered your drink. The woman smiles and gets back to work.

“What're you drinking?” You ask.

“Whisky.” She offers you a sip and the alcohol makes you shiver. Ashlyn smiles. “So how's the first week going?”

“It's good,” you admit. “A bit overwhelming. I mean, they're all friendly and great, but it's a lot to take in.” You're happy to be able to talk honestly with someone besides Kyle.

“You'll catch on,” she says. “You carried that meeting in there. You get it, you know? That's a real gift. Joelle was ready to take you right there,” she smirks as the bartender slides you your drink. You thank her and turn back to Ashlyn.

“Me? Are you kidding.” You roll your eyes.

“She only liked me until you opened your mouth.”

“Shut up,” you laugh.

“Can't blame her,” she shrugs. “I mean, I'm great to look at but you're the real deal,” she nudges you, her voice laced with tease.

“Please, she was begging you to meet her for a drink. Why wouldn't you?”

“Why does everyone think I'll jump at any woman giving me the time of day,” she asks, her voice seriously. “I am _not_ getting involved with someone who is technically my boss. Maybe after we finish the campaign,” she shrugs.

“Even if she's gorgeous? I mean even HAO looked like she wanted her.” Ashlyn laughs and the sound makes you join her.

“There are other gorgeous women.” You take a sip of your tequila, the strength of it surprising you. “How's your girl doing?”

“Good,” you answer honestly, not revealing more.

“Have you seen her recently?” Ashlyn presses, hoping for more information.

“Last night.”

“Oh,” Ashlyn chuckles.

“What?” You narrow your eyes.

“No, nothing. It's just, that's why you're so tired today.”

“I'm not tired.”

“Alex,” she laughs, but the way she says your name makes your stomach jump a bit. “She any good?”

“Ash!” You squeal, but you're both laughing.

“What? You can practically get me off on Saturday but can't talk about how your girl kept you up all night?”

“Ashlyn!” You try to scold, but your voice is light and you're both chuckling. Your body is hot at her choice of words. You will never get over how easily she verbalizes what feels like unspeakable territory.

“What, did you think I'd just forget about that?” Her eyes lock with yours as she sips her whisky. You avoid her lips, keeping her gaze as steadily as you can.

“You sucker punched me the first night I saw you. I couldn't let you keep the upper hand,” you shrug with a smirk. “That's all.”

“Really,” she grins, her tongue licking her lips. “That's all?” You nod. Ashlyn moves over on the bar stool, her thigh getting closer to yours. Lightly, her fingers dance against your knee. “So then, this does nothing for you?” The tracing elicits goosebumps under your dark jeans and you hate how easily she gets a hold over you.

“Ashlyn,” you warn. She retracts her hand instantly.

“I'm not trying to play games, Al,” she says, her voice suddenly serious. “I'm just trying to understand.”

“Yeah right,” you roll your eyes.

“Why is it so hard to believe?” For the first time, her voice is softer. She's serious. “Why can't you believe that I'm attracted to you?” The admission makes your face burn like the tequila in the back of your throat. Her eyes are light, her hair framing her face perfectly. You're suddenly aware of how attracted you are to the blonde. The tension has always been there, but you're only now realizing how much of it is sexual.

“You've always loved toying with me.”

“Like you're innocent?” She plays back.

“You teased me for fifteen years. Saturday was my first time.”

“Yeah right,” she rolls her eyes, only half playfully.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“You think I've only been attracted to you for the past week? Come on, Al, you're smarter than that.”

The words feel like a truck hitting your entire body. Suddenly, you're thinking about your tenth grade self cuddling with Ashlyn. You're thinking about how you hung out with her every night junior year until it was time for your date night—with your boyfriend.

“Please, I was so awkward back then,” you remember, always feeling insecure around Ashlyn and Whit. Both girls were confident and comfortable with themselves. You didn't even know how to put on mascara (unfortunately). Ashlyn just sips her whisky, ignoring your comments.

“All I'm saying,” she starts, “is that I didn't kiss your neck the other night to _toy_ with you or whatever sick thing you think I was doing.”

You don't answer. You're not sure what to say, really. Your heart is racing only seconds behind your mind. You'd never thought that maybe Ashlyn had come onto you because she was attracted to you. You'd assumed it was apart of the game she'd always played.

“You're one of my best friends,” you turn to her, ignoring the way her stare makes your heart skip. “I'm not going to ruin it just because you have some stupid attraction.”

“We,” she corrects.

“What?”

“ _We_ have some stupid attraction,” she smirks. “Come on, squirt, you can admit it. It doesn't mean anything, just say it. You didn't just dance on me like that _just_ to get back at me, did you?”

“You're unbelievable,” you groan. Ashlyn chuckles before biting down on her lip. Her eyes lock with yours and you don't remember being so close to her. “I'm happy with someone right now,” you remind her, though she doesn't need it.

“Fine, I'll back off. Just remember, you asked me to.”

“Good,” you retort.

“Good,” she smiles. “Well, if you're so happy, I want to meet this lucky lady. Ryan's coming over for a movie night on Friday. Bring her over, we'd love to meet her. Maybe I'll even bring a date,” she teases.

You're not sure what game Ashlyn Harris is playing, but you find yourself alongside her every step of the way.

“Deal.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love. Let me know if you're still enjoying in the comments! Happy 4th, ya'll! Be safe!! xx


	4. Holding You Back

“We don't have to do this,” you say for maybe the seventh time since you drove up to her house. Tara laughs lightly, the sound loosening the knots in your stomach. She tucks a stray hair behind your ear before taking your hands in hers.

“For the thousandth time,” she rolls her eyes playfully, “I _want_ to meet your friends.” She takes a step closer, her eyes falling to your lips. “Al, I know this is still new, but I really like spending time with you. I like this, I like you.” She takes your lips in her fuller ones. With Tara, there are no games. She is honest and earnest and, when you kiss her back, you feel comfortable. When she pulls back, a faint smirk is on her lips.

“Are you nervous?”

“It's just, they can be a lot is all,” you lie. Whitney will be nothing but polite, you know that. _Ashlyn_ can be a lot.

“I can handle it,” she nudges you, her lips landing on your cheek. “Don't worry about me.” You smile. It's not her you're worried about.

 

* * *

 

Whitney opens the door and bypasses you, pulling Tara into a hug. Tara laughs and adds, “you must be Whitney,” and you smile, proud of her for remembering such small details of your life.

“And I hope you're Tara,” Whitney jokes. “I've heard great things about you. Thanks for coming over, come in!” After Whitney envelops you in a quick hug, you follow her inside and see Ryan cuddled up on the couch with a blanket. He stands up as soon as he sees you. He pulls you into a bear hug while introducing himself to your other half. He's saying something to Tara when you turn to Whiteny, suddenly aware of a missing presence.

“Where's Ash?”

“Back porch,” she nods and you see the tall blonde's back hunched over the railing, a cider in hand, snapback covering her surf-kissed, wavy hair. Next to her, a brunette with long, straight hair leans over in similar form. She's wearing leggings and a longer shirt with a pair of high top sneakers. You can't help but notice how toned the woman's legs are. Of course, you think. Of course she brought a date. You don't know why you didn't expect it. You and Whit are both here with someone. You quickly turn to Tara and take her hand, leading her towards the door. When you slide open the glass, Ashlyn and the brunette turn around.

“Alex?” You laugh slightly, ignoring the relief that washes over your body.

“Hey, Al!” She smiles, walking towards you for a hug.

“I didn't know you'd be here!”

“Couldn't leave Ash dateless,” she jokes and the blonde rolls her eyes. You feel her eyes wander from you to Tara.

“This is Tara,” you smile, pointing to the woman who's hand you've now dropped.

“Alex,” the brunette grins, reaching her hand out. Ashlyn follows suit.

“Ashlyn.” Her hand is strong but her face is soft. Tara grins and says how great it is to meet them. You're grateful at how at ease she seems, her confidence apparent even with a group of people she's never met.

“What a beautiful duo,” Alex grins at the two of you. You blush but mentally note how grateful you are she didn't use the word “couple.” That's what you are, though, isn't it?

“Can I get you guys something to drink?” Ashlyn quickly asks. “Cider, beer, wine?”

“Whatever you're drinking is perfect,” Tara smiles and you quickly agree. It's not until Alex asks for another bottle that you realize Ashlyn probably can't carry all of it on her own.

“Let me give you a hand,” you offer. You gently rub Tara's back, promising to be right back, pleased when she offers a reassuring smile. She's more than happy to talk to Alex for a moment.

You don't catch up with Ashlyn until she's in the kitchen popping the lids off the cider bottles. Her eyes lift to meet yours, focus still on the task at hand.

“Tara's... beautiful,” Ashlyn settles on and her choice of words surprises you. “I mean, wow,” she adds with a soft smile and you can feel her censoring herself. “Who knew you had it in you, squirt,” she jokes with a wink.

“Thanks,” you laugh, your eyes studying the blonde as she falls serious.

“Okay, _wow_ ,” Whitney comes up from behind, her shoulder bumping into yours. “Tara is hot!” Whitney is whisper yelling as if the dirty blonde is right behind you and not outside on the porch.

“I know,” you laugh as you turn to see her and Alex laughing outside. Ashlyn hands you two ciders and she grabs two as you follow behind her. Alex slides the door open for you both as Ashlyn hands a bottle to Alex. You hand one to Tara, her arm snaking around your hip.

“Thanks,” she mumbles, a soft kiss landing on your cheek. You avoid eye-contact with your friends, suddenly aware of how hot your cheeks are.

“So,” Tara starts, “how long have you two been together?” Ashlyn chuckles as Alex's eyes widen a bit.

“Oh, no. No we're not—we're just friends. Ash wishes,” she adds with a laugh.

“Unfortunately, this catch is still straight,” Ashlyn adds with a smirk. Alex rolls her eyes and you both laugh.

“Sorry, I assumed—my bad.”

“No worries,” Alex assures her.

“How did you two meet?” Tara asks and you realize you weren't sure of the story, either.

“Ash was actually my surf instructor when I first moved here.”

“You were working as a surf instructor?” You ask Ash, realizing how little you know about her new life.

“Not really. I was teaching actually teaching Tobin when we first moved out here, and then we met Kelley—I don't think you've met her yet. But she was roommates with Alex and turns out Tobs and Alex grew up playing together, too. Alex took some time to get adjusted but finally decided she wanted to give it a shot.”

“That's amazing. I'd love to learn,” Tara adds and you feel your stomach twisting, the idea of Tara and Ashlyn alone suddenly too overwhelming for you.

“I'd be happy to take the two of you out. I'm sure Alex could use a refresher,” Ashlyn teases. “You tell me when.”

“How'd you guys meet?” Alex asks before taking a sip of her cider. You're about to speak up when you realize Tara is already on it.

“Ali over here actually asked me out,” she smiles.

“Ali!” Alex leans into you to nudge the side of the shoulder. “I knew you had game.”

“Not really,” you laugh as you shake her head.

“Oh come on, it was adorable,” Tara grins. “We actually went to the same high school, but Ali was a few years younger. We had a bunch of mutual friends but never really said more than hi to each other. It was a small school though so I definitely knew who she was.” You're blushing hard as the three girls look at you. You don't know how the two blondes manage to get you all tongue tied. “She always stood out but, I mean, she wasn't out or anything back then.” Ashlyn bites down on her lip as if she's holding something back. “But her first day back, I ran into her at the grocery store. I flirted so hard and nothing,” she laughs and you can't help but join her, thinking about how oblivious you were your first meeting. “But I ran into her the next day at the mall and Ali finally took the hint.”

“Look at you, girl,” Alex clinks her cider with yours.

“Not as smooth as it sounds,” you laugh remembering how you mumbled out the words. Tara pulls you closer. Before the conversation can carry on any more, Whitney slides open the door.

“We watching this or what?”

You all chuckle and pile in as Whit plugs in _Now You See Me_ , a film you'd all been meaning to watch but hadn't quite gotten around to. Ryan and Whit take half the couch, Ashlyn and Alex taking the other half. You sit down on the large recliner, Tara sitting in the space beside you, her legs draping over yours as she places an arm around your shoulder.

“Sorry Al,” Ashlyn laughs as she pulls the brunette onto her lap. “You signed up to be my cuddle buddy tonight.”

“Oh poor me,” Alex feigns annoyance with a grin as she wraps her arms around the blonde. She playfully takes off the girls snapback, placing it over her own hair.

“Just when I thought you couldn't get any cuter,” Ashlyn teases. You know they're only play flirting and you're the one with a real date on your lap, but the two women have you distracted.

“You didn't tell me all of your friends were stunning,” Tara whispers in your ear, her eyes clearly locked on the duo.

“You fit right in,” you tell her, though you're not sure if that's the reassurance she was looking for, but she smiles any way. She looks like she's thinking about something, but she bites her tongue for at least ten minutes. Once the movie is playing and everyone is captivated enough, she leans back in.

“Have you and Ashlyn ever...” she asks without words. Your eyebrows shoot up as your head snaps towards Tara.

“What?” Is all you can manage at first. You have barely spoken to the blonde tonight and don't know where the thought is coming from. “Wh—no, why would you think that?” You manage to keep your voice soft, answering in only a curious manner. Tara just shrugs, not appearing too bothered by the thought.

“I was just curious. She's crazy hot and you guys seem close.” She's still whispering, her warm breath on your ear adding heat to your cheeks. Or maybe it's the comment itself.

“Just friends,” is all you add, though it feels like only half the truth.

 

You can't focus on the rest of the movie. You get the basic plot, laugh when you're supposed, act stunned at the end with the rest of the group. But the whole time, you're too busy thinking about Tara's assumption or distracted by the giggles coming from the couch.

 

When the credits roll, you all spend about ten minutes recapping your favorite parts or laughing at how confused Alex is. It's not until Ryan announces that he better get going that you and Tara silently agree.

“Well I'm really glad you guys could make it,” Whit smiles. “We have to do it again. We may go out for drinks tomorrow if you're around!” She suggests. You both smile and thank the girls for having you. You hug Ryan before he heads out, Whitney walking him to the door. Tara walks towards Ashlyn and they share a brief hug. Ashlyn laughs while adding, “take care of this one,” and Tara promises to do her best. It all feels too serious to you and you're not sure why. When Tara reaches for Alex, Ashlyn steps closer to you. She opens her arms and you step in, your arms wrapping around her neck. Her body is warm and firm and everything you'd expect it to be. Her arms tighten around your waist and she leans down a bit so her lips are near your ear.

“I'm happy for you,” she whispers, her voice softer and more grave than you've heard since you returned. You're unable to find your words and before you pull yourself together she's stepping back and you realize Alex is waiting for your hug.

“Come out with us tomorrow, yeah?” Alex asks the two of you while you're hugging. She doesn't let you answer, though, she just assures you somebody will text you details. You say your final goodbyes before thanking Whit on the way out.

 

“That wasn't so bad, was it?” Tara teases as she wraps her arm around your shoulder. “You made is seem like they were going to interrogate me or something. They're so friendly.”

“They can be ballbusters sometimes,” you shrug, knowing very well “they” is only Ashlyn. “We must have caught them on a good night.”

 

* * *

 

“How are you _still_ squatting more than me?” He asks with a breathless smile. You're in stitches from laughing and can't remember the last time lifting was this fun.

“I'm sure you'll catch up one day,” you tease as his tatted arm wraps around your shoulder.

“I'm so glad you moved back,” he sighs, voice more serious. “It was getting pretty lonely around here.”

Kyle had been on a work trip for the past two weeks and was finally home again, settled in and ready to bother you to hang out non-stop. You don't mind. He was one of the main reasons you moved back. He's been sober now for two years and you've never been closer. He was your protector growing up, especially as your family fell apart and now that he's gotten himself healthy again he's back to being your older brother.

He sits down on the bench as you start your second rep.

“So tell me about this lady? You think it's getting serious?”

“I'm not sure,” you say with a choppy breath. You wait until you hit your tenth squat before placing the bar back and stepping back for a breather. “I like her and, I mean the attraction is _definitely_ there,” you admit. Kyle quickly chirps in the a “T.M.I.” though you both know he's kidding. Nothing is T.M.I. For him.

“So what's holding you back?” He asks and you're not sure how he knows something is holding you back.

“Nothing,” you shrug as you pick up the bar for your next set.

“Do I get to meet her then?”

“Soon,” you huff. You're about three squats away from finishing the set when a voice from behind makes Kyle practically flip.

“Damn Kriegs,” you hear a hoot behind you before the tone changes. “If it isn't my favorite siblings,” The voice instantly makes you cut the set short, setting the bar back.

“Holy shit!” Kyle screams as he pulls Ashlyn in for a hug. He lifts her off her feet and find himself spinning in small circles. You laugh at the mini reunion, surprised they clearly haven't run into each other since Ashlyn moved back. He places her down on her feet and you take in her look. She's in long gym shorts, a pair of black calf socks and Nikes with a cut off white tank hugging her chest. Her arms look bigger than you've ever seen them, glistening with sweat and blood pumping through them.

“Shit, Ash,” Kyle checks her out more than you just did. “You look incredible. This sleeve,” he grabs her arm. He traces her tattoos in a way you've been wanting to for weeks and turns to you. “I always knew she was your coolest friend.” Ashlyn laughs and you roll your eyes. “Have you guys seen each other?” He suddenly asks with narrowed brows, realizing that he was more excited than you to run into the blonde.

“Yeah,” you laugh and Ashlyn sends you a surprised glance, almost taken aback that you haven't mentioned her to your brother.

“Well I better score an invite next time now that I'm back.”

“Of course,” Ash smiles. “We're going out for drinks tonight if you want,” she starts and suddenly stops, remembering his addiction.

“It's cool, I'm strong enough to be around it now,” he smiles.

“That's awesome,” she smiles. “I'm so proud of you. You look amazing, too.” Kyle does a fake hair flip. “Good, then come out tonight, yeah? Bring Tara,” she smiles at you, though it feels like more of a smirk.

“She's visiting her fam tonight,” you tell her.

“ _You_ got to meet her?” Kyle's hand falls to his chest.

“You haven't?” She looks surprised and they both turn to you.

“Ali says it's not serious enough yet,” Kyle says with suspicious eyes and you suddenly feel like the open floored gym is closing in.

“Meeting family is more serious than meeting friends,” you inform them with a bit of sass. They nod, accepting the explanation.

“Well I'll text you guys the location,” Ashlyn smiles, her eyes landing on yours. “I'll let you get back to your workout.” She pulls Kyle in for another hug before walking past you and giving you a tight squeeze on your shoulder.

She's not even ten feet away before Kyle's voice jumps up an octave.

“Oh my _God_!” His hands are animatedly on his temples and you already know where this is going. “Why didn't you tell me how hot she got?” You just shake it off with a laugh but he doesn't stop. “What the hell was that? Oh my god.”

“Relax,” you laugh.

“I can feel the tension from here,” he nods across the room, Ashlyn quickly averting her eyes in the mirror she's currently lifting in front of.

“It's a long story,” you shake your head.

“Oh my god,” he breathes. “ _She's_ what's holding you back.”

You want to ignore him, you want to pretend like the words had never hit your ears. You try, but he doesn't let up. He doesn't stop pressing. As soon as you're out of the gym, he's non-stop with questions about Ashlyn all while constantly reminding you of her tatted biceps and unbelievable sex appeal. You start your car, buckle your seat belt, back out and turn onto the street when he finally demands an explanation.

“Look, she sort of came onto me out first night seeing each other. But I thought she was toying with me, you know, the same way she always messed with me as a kid,” Kyle nods, trying to keep his bulging eyes in their sockets. “So I tried to get back at her and, I don't know, I was a bit of a tease. But now I'm not sure if she's just messing with me or actually into me. She's just such a flirt.”

“Um, first of all, what. The. Hell. Thanks for telling me,” he rolls his eyes. “ _You_ teased _her?_ ” He laughs and groan. “Obviously I'm just an outside opinion, but I don't think she could fake that sexual tension if she tried.”

“Even if she did want something, she doesn't date. She never has and probably never will. She's not into serious stuff. Why mess up a friendship just to fuck around?”

“Well when she looks like that,” Kyle laughs and you slap him with your right hand. “I'm kidding. You can't think like that, Al. I've never had a really serious boyfriend but would you say that I never want to settle down? I've wanted a real boyfriend since I was seven,” he rolls his eyes. “Timing is everything, you don't know what she's really looking for.”

You don't answer, but Kyle's words ring in your head for the rest of the car ride home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the filler chapater, but I'm hoping to get the next one out by tomorrow! It will start to pick up for sure! Love hearing your thoughts! Thank you for all the comments and messages. xx


	5. Try Harder

Kyle convinces you to go. You haven't seen him so excited to go out in years and you can't help but be proud of how far he's come in his battle. Fine, you'll go, you promise. Only for a couple of drinks and then he's driving you back home. You decide on skin-tight black skinny jeans, a cropped but loose-hanging, short sleeve, black tee and a pair of black heels. Kyle, similarly, is in all black, his shirt clinging much tighter to his chest.

“Damn, princess” Kyle compliments as he stands in your doorway. He eyes you with a suspicious look that you gladly ignore. “Looking good girl.”

“You too, queen.”

You climb into Kyle's black Jeep and he starts driving to the address Ash had sent him. Your phone buzzes and you open the text.

_Have fun tonight, beautiful. Wish I could be there!_

You quickly type back.

_Wish you were here, too. Have fun with your fam!_

You slide your phone into your pocket and Kyle eyes you.

“Is that your girl?”

“Tara,” you inform him, suddenly preferring he calls her by her name. He doesn't press you further but you find yourself continuing on. “I really like what we're doing, but I just keep feeling like it's moving a little faster than I'd like. I don't know, the texting, the pet names. I know it's normal but I feel like she's just ahead of me.”

“You're a catch,” he shrugs playfully before giving his real input. “Why don't you put your phone away, focus on reconnecting with your friends, settling in at work and making this place home again. And when you see her next, talk to her. This is a huge adjustment period in your life. Jumping into something serious too soon while you're still figuring your new life out will only complicate things down the road. I'm sure she'll get that. You can still hang out, and, you know, do whatever you guys do,” he smirks.

“Ew, Kyle,” you laugh, but add a small “thanks” for the advice.

 

You're greeted by Tobin and Christen who seem to have just arrived. Together, you note, in similar leather jackets. They shake Kyle's hand and walk over to the bar with you. Alex finds you next, giggling with liquor on her breath as she pulls you into a hug. She pulls Kyle in for a hug, too, before doing the same to Christen and Tobin.

“Al, you have to meet Kelley,” she smiles as she grabs the wrist of a girl behind her.

“Hi,” you wave before Kelley reaches for a handshake. She's smaller with what seems like an infinite amount of freckles and has a beautiful smile. “I'm Ali.”

“Kelley,” she smiles. “I've heard great things. Glad to finally meet you.” She eyes Kyle and quickly shakes his hand, reintroducing herself.

“Kyle?” Ryan's voice comes through the crowd.

“No way, Ry!” Kyle pulls him in for a bro hug. It's not until you see them hugging that you suddenly remember Ryan from Kyle's first club soccer team. Ryan quit early on in high school to pursue lacrosse, so you couldn't quite place his face. You can hear them making the connection when Ashlyn appears at your side.

“Small town,” she laughs. You turn towards her with a smile. She has her hair down with light waves. She's wearing a black, tight tee and slightly baggy black jeans with a brand new pair of white sneakers. You're too busy looking at her shoes to notice her eyes wander down your body.

“Ladies, drinks on me!” Alex loops her arm through both of yours as stands in between you, leading you to the bar. She orders a round of picklebacks first before ordering all three of you a vodka tonic—a choice that makes Ashlyn's nose scrunch up.

“I love Tara,” Alex tells you from the other side of Ashlyn, her arm falling on Ashlyn's forearm as she leans over the blonde to reach you. You notice her thumb stroking Ashlyn's skin and almost chuckle at the power that is Ashlyn Harris. “You guys are so cute together.”

“Thanks,” you smile. “She's a good one,” is all you can think to say. Alex stands on her tippy toes slightly, her mouth hovering by Ashlyn's ear as she whispers something before turning on her heels back towards your friends in the back of the room.

“She says she'll be right back,” Ashlyn smiles. “Probably wants to dance.”

“Is it just me or,” you start, deciding whether or not to finish your sentence. “Is she a little extra touchy with you?” Ashlyn leans in, her eyes wide with excitement.

“Thank you! I thought I was going fucking crazy.” You almost spit out your vodka tonic but manage to swallow before your laughter consumes you. “I know it means nothing, but drunk Alex is definitely letting her curiosity get the best of her. First dinner the other night, and now it's not even ten o'clock and she's already extra handsy.”

“Well it wouldn't be the worst thing ever,” you joke and Ashlyn laughs with a head shake.

“I couldn't.”

“I could.”

“Alex!” She practically screams, her mouth agape.

“What?” You smirk. “She's hot.”

“I'll let her know.”

“No!” You quickly add as your hand falls onto Ashlyn's. You slowly retract it when you become aware of the contact.

“I'm not sure Tara would like that,” Ashlyn decides to add with a soft voice, seemingly unsure of how to navigate the topic. You just shrug. You think you may be just as unsure. She takes a sip of her drink before trying again. “Not serious enough yet?” Her question is incomplete, but you know she's referencing what you said at the gym earlier.

“I think we're on different pages,” you shrug, not expecting to be so honest with the girl. But your lips, covered in liquor, keep moving. “She just seems a step ahead. She invited me to meet her family tonight. I really do like her, but I kind of need her to take it day by day right now.”

“She's trying to U-haul it already?” Ashlyn chuckles and you join her.

“I'm getting that vibe.”

“Just talk to her,” Ashlyn shrugs before taking another sip through her straw. “She seems reasonable.”

Alex returns as soon as you both finish your drinks, pulling Ashlyn by the hand to to the dance floor while calling for you. Ashlyn gives you a knowing look and you chuckle, trailing behind them. You make it to the dance floor and Kyle waves you over. He's sipping on a club soda and talking with Kelley who perks up seeing you.

“Kelley just started dating someone too,” Kyle smiles as soon as you walk up. “And the girl is moving too fast, too.”

“Kyle,” you roll your eyes. Classic blabbermouth.

“I promise she brought it up! It was just too similar to not tell you!”

“He's right,” Kelley smiles. Kyle tells you he's going to buy you two drinks and he's gone before you can stop him.

“How long have you been dating?” You ask after an awkward pause. She smiles, somewhat relieved that you've decided to pick up on the conversation.

“Three weeks maybe,” she shrugs.

“Same here,” you laugh and maybe, you think, it's not the worst idea to talk it out with someone. “We haven't really talked about exclusivity or anything but it just feels that way, you know?” Kelley chuckles.

“Oh, yeah,” Kelley nods. “It's hard because I'm _so_ attracted to her but something just feels like it's missing still. Maybe it's developing still but, I don't know, it seems to be there for her.” The words strike a nerve. Tara. She's undeniably sexy, you think you could kiss her forever. She's an incredible friend and you enjoy hanging out. But there's something you can't put your finger on, something that's missing.

“That's exactly it,” you shake your head. Kyle silently places a mixed drink in your hand and leans over to give one to Kelley. You both thank him before Kelley starts up again.

“It's weird being here. I feel like I'm supposed to be loyal to her, but we haven't even had that conversation. But I know if it were her, she would be, you know?”

“If you want my opinion ladies,” Kyle chimes in before you can respond. You quickly chirp a “no” but he continues anyway. “You are free to do you and do what makes your heart happy. You know what's right. A conversation is definitely due around the corner, but don't let someone else's plans dictate your own if you haven't made those plans together.”

“I love this dude,” Kelley laughs as she clinks her glass to his club soda. You're about to suggest you dance when Kyle points to Alex whose hips are pressed against Ashlyn's front.

“Is she...”

“Confused?” Kelley laughs with a head shake. “She's just curious. Pretty sure she's straight but, I mean, look at Ashlyn. Can you blame her?” Kyle stifles his laughter as his side bumps into you.

“We certainly can not!” He chuckles and you dig your elbow into his side, smiling when he grimaces.

“Come on,” Kelley grabs your hand and you and Kyle follow her out to the dance floor.

Kelley keeps her hand intertwined with yours as you dance beside each other, Ashlyn giving you a smirk after looking down at the brunette pressed against her. You laugh as you shake your head. You find yourself looking at Kelley, wondering if you both would have been attracted to each other under different circumstances. She's beautiful, no doubt, but she's not quite your type. Though you're starting to wonder if you even have a type.

You're thoughts are broken up when Alex turns towards Ashlyn, her arms wrapping around her neck. Ashlyn ducks a bit, placing her head over Alex's shoulder. Before Alex knows it, Kelley is yanking her by the wrist and saying something about the “bathroom” before they both disappear through the crowd.

“Holy crap,” Kyle laughs as Ashlyn runs her hands down her thighs to flatten her pants. “Does that happen often?” Ashlyn shrugs playfully.

“I tend to have that effect on girls,” she laughs, the joke apparent in her tone. She quickly shakes her head, clearly frazzled, and tells you, “I need a drink.” She turns towards the bar and you find your feet following her. She's ordering a whisky when you pop up behind her and tell the bartender to “make that two.” She turns with a light smile.

“You all good?” You ask.

“Just don't want Alex to do something she regrets,” she admits honestly. “She's been a good friend to me.”

“She's a big girl,” you try, though you know what Ashlyn means. Even if it's Alex's move, she's the one that would inevitably react in the end.

“Kelley's taking care of it, thank God,” she laughs.

“Kelley's really cool.” Ashlyn's eyebrow perks up a bit.

“She asked about you, you know,” Ashlyn says. “She wanted to know if we'd ever, um, been a thing. I think trying to see if you were off limits,” she smirks. You roll your eyes with a light scoff.

“What? Why is it so hard to believe we could have hooked up? It's not _that_ far fetched,” she reminds you exactly where her lips have been and you roll your eyes again.

“No, it's not that. Tara asked the same thing. If we had ever... before.” You can't say the word and, even with liquor running through you, the thought makes you blush. Ashlyn lets out a belly laugh.

“What? No way.”

“Yup. She said you were _crazy hot_ and that we seemed close,” you scoff. You regret admitting it to her the second the words roll off your tongue.

“Crazy hot?” She bites her lip.

“Shut up,” you laugh.

“Well looks like we have something in common.” Ashlyn's forearms are leaning on the bar, her glass now in her hand. Her head is crooked slightly to the left, looking for your reaction from the corner of her eye. You don't give her one. You take a swig of the whisky and lean forward on the counter, your forearm brushing Ashlyn's. “Kyle looks great,” she finally breaks the silence. “I'm really happy for you both.” Her words run warm through you. People rarely think about how Kyle's struggle and sobriety has affected you.

“Thanks,” you mumble and it's like Ashlyn recognizes she struck your emotions. She places a light hand on your back for a moment, rubbing up and down, before retracting it and leaning back against the bar. “He's worked really hard. It's good to have him back.”

“I know the feeling,” she smiles at you and you remember how deep addiction runs in Ashlyn's family. You can only manage to offer her a smile before she changes the subject again. “How do you get Kyle to lift with you?” She laughs. “I've been trying to get Chris to workout with me for years.”

“He's too competitive for his own good,” you laugh. “I can still squat more than him, so it keeps him coming back.” Ashlyn laughs, her front teeth biting down onto her bottom lip. Your mention of squatting only brings back the image on you earlier in the gym.

“You have great form,” she smirks and you bite your lip to keep from smiling. When it doesn't work, you shake your head. “I'm serious,” she laughs. “You looked unbelievable.”

“Keep it in your pants,” you roll your eyes.

“I did,” she gives you a crooked smile. You twist your body towards her, your left elbow resting against the bar to hold your weight up.

“I thought you said you were gonna back off?” You challenge but Ashlyn doesn't falter. She shrugs you off, her body turning to match yours.

“I tried.”

She licks her lips and you're suddenly aware of how soft they look. She takes a sip of her drink, her eyes still locked with yours.

“Not hard enough,” you tell her, your throat in desperate need of liquid. You take a sip of your drink, not noticing how much it burns.

“You underestimate yourself,” she husks, her body closer than before. “You show up here looking like that and you think it's supposed to be _easy_ for me back off. Honestly, I think I've been doing a pretty stand-up job.”

It's undeniable now. You've been pushing the thought away since you reunited with the blonde but here, leaning against this crowded bar, her eyes hooded and her lips wet, you can't deny it. She's so goddamn sexy and you don't know how you've gone so long avoiding the thought. Your mind, for the first time in weeks, goes blank. Your body, heat pulsing through, takes over and you take a step closer.

“There you are,” Alex pops up at Ashlyn's side. You turn to face her, smile on her lips. Kelley is behind her with apologetic eyes. Ashlyn's eyes stay on you as if Alex isn't tugging on her wrist. “Let's dance.”

“Only if Ali comes with,” Ashlyn says, eyes unmoving. At once, Alex lets go of Ashlyn and takes both of your hands in hers, forcing you to abandon your drink.

“Fine,” Alex huffs, “she's probably more fun anyway.” You feel Ashlyn trailing behind you. Alex pulls you up next to Kyle and Ryan. As she pulls your chest towards hers, she seems to forget Ashlyn even exists. Her arms wrap around your neck and you let your hands fall to her waist. You'd be lying if you said her hips against yours didn't turn you on. But when Ashlyn's eyes lock with yours over Alex's shoulder, you just about lose it. You look away as quickly as you can, your focus turning to Alex. She turns, her back pressing into you and you ignore the look Kyle is shooting you from beside Ashlyn. You see Ashlyn whisper something to Kyle before Alex presses harder. You're relieved when the song changes and she reaches for Kelley's hand, pulling her towards you both to dance. Alex separates off from you, the three of you now dancing harmlessly together. It's not until Whitney shows up beside Ashlyn that you remember Tobin and Christen are around here, too. Or were. You haven't seen them in over an hour and, by the likes of it, neither has anyone else. Kyle gives you a small nod and you excuse yourself to see what's up with him.

“Whit's heading out,” he informs you and you quickly grab her for a hug. Ryan rushed out to grab the car so you tell her to pass on your goodbye.

“Ky, you almost ready?” You ask and he narrows his eyebrows.

“Are you?” You nod. “I'm good whenever you are.” You run over to say goodbye to Alex and Kelley who are now with a few of their friends you haven't met. You make a beeline for Kyle but Ashlyn snatches your wrist. She closes the distance between you, her mouth close to your ear so you can hear her.

“Are you leaving?” You nod when she pulls back and she suddenly looks dejected. Your hand finds her hip to guide you closer to her ear, your breath hitching at the V muscle you feel through her jeans.

“Have fun with Alex,” you joke. You try to pull away but her hands grab your hips and she leans back in.

“When are you going to give in?” Her words are warm on your neck and you think _now_ but quickly get ahold of yourself. You take a step back and Ashlyn drops her hands. You don't know if it's her sudden hesitance or the throbbing in your core, but you're emboldened by the entire situation. Your hooded eyes meet hers, your top teeth biting gently onto your bottom lip. Her eyes drop to your mouth as a smile breaks onto your lips. Before you can register her expression, you turn on your heels and push Kyle towards the door.

“Wh—Ali! What the-”

“Shut up,” you hush your brother until you push him fully out of the bar's front door. As soon as he feels the breeze he stops dead in his tracks and turns towards you. He doesn't have words, just a bemused, wide-eyed look. You brush past him towards the car. He follows, silent as he climbs into the driver seat. He doesn't start the car, he just turns to look at you.

“Drive,” you huff as you try to open the window in an attempt to cool off. When it doesn't open, you realize Kyle still hasn't started the car.

“Are you going to _explain_?”

“Explain what? Start the car.” He does as he's told but doesn't put it into drive.

“You were seconds away from jumping Ashlyn back there!”

“I know, that's why we had to leave!” The frustration bubbling in your voice makes him jump.

“Al, breath.” He waits until you let out an audible sigh.

“Sorry. I'm not used to not having control over myself. I don't know what got into me back there.”

“So what's wrong with losing control for once?”

“Not with her,” you shake your head. “I can't figure what her game is.”

“Have you seen the way she looks at you? It's clearly not _just_ some game. She couldn't stop gushing about how _gorgeous_ you looked.” You shoot him a confused look. “Yeah. Gorgeous,” he emphasizes. “When Alex was all up on you, that was the only comment she had. _Your sister is so gorgeous. God.”_

When you don't answer, Kyle starts the car. You don't say a word for the first half of the ride. It's not until your head crashes back onto the headrest that Kyle breaks the silence.

“Stop thinking so damn much.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise things will move along next chapter :) Stick with me, folks.  
> As always, SO grateful for your comments and messages!! xx


	6. Lights Out

Tara has been drawing circles on your exposed knee for nearly half of the episode. Your try to focus on Piper Chapman's more annoying than usual rant and ignore the voice in the back of your mind.

“Al,” Tara finally whispers, her voice gentle and uncharacteristically timid. “You okay?”

“Of course,” you offer a soft smile. “Why?” You immediately regret asking why as you've only pushed the conversation forward.

“Normally I only have to put my hands on you for a solid thirty seconds before I have your attention. I've been making moves for thirty minutes and you haven't even looked at me.” She's not angry. Confused, maybe. “You can talk to me,” she adds as if she needs to remind you of how good of a listener she is.

“I'm sorry. I just—I've got a lot going on up here,” you run your fingers through your thick hair.

“Want to talk about it?” She asks gently, her body turning on the couch so she's facing towards you. You find yourself weighing your options. Be honest and run the chance of ruining whatever could be developing here or ignore whatever is going on in your head until you ultimately self destruct and inevitably hurt someone—Tara or yourself. Right now, you hate how much you value honesty.

“It's been a hard adjustment,” you admit, not really knowing how to say _you're moving too fast and I'm not sure if I can keep my libido in check around one of my best friends but I also am really starting to like whatever this is._ “Moving home, starting work, settling in with friends--”

“Ali,” she sighs, as if she knows where this is going and is begging you to cut to the chase.

“I really like you,” you admit, “but I want us to be on the same page.” The words seem to calm her a bit and her shoulders relax. “I'm worried that if I jump into a relationship too soon, while I'm still figuring out who I am in this place and what I want, that I'll-”

“Ali,” she lets out a light laugh, her hand falling on yours. “Al, relax.” Her skin is softer than you remembered and are grateful for the contact. “We don't need to jump into anything.”

“We don't?” You find yourself asking. She gives you a confused. “I'm sorry, I just thought—when you asked me to meet your family and--”

“As my friend,” she says, almost surprised. “I'm sorry I didn't clarify that. I wouldn't have asked that of you so soon. Look,” she laughs, “I'm _really_ into you. I'm not going to hide that. I mean, you're beautiful and intelligent and selfless as hell but you're also fucking sexy when you want to be. I like this,” she motions between the two of you. “But I'm not asking you to put a ring on it. I don't need that,” she admits.

“But this in between thing. That's how people get hurt.”

“That's my risk to take,” she admits and you're slightly stunned. “You need to take care of you. You just graduated, you started working, moved home, you're figuring yourself out. You need time to figure that out. You need to do whatever is best for you—be alone, date around,whatever you gotta do, ” she shrugs. “I like hanging out with you, though. So if you want to keep doing that while you figure your stuff out, I'm not opposed.” To say you're confused is an understatement. Your mouth is literally hanging open and the blonde is chuckling at you.

“You—you're okay just hanging out and...”

“And..” she grins, begging for you to say it.

“And doing _this_ ,” you lean in for a kiss which she gladly reciprocates. You pull away almost as soon as you start. “Are you sure about this?”

“Ali, it's okay. We're in different places in our lives and maybe one day that will align,” she shrugs. “But right now, we're both having fun, right?” You nod. “Good. Then why stop?”

 

* * *

 

“Let's see if Joelle can keep it in her pants this meeting,” Pinoe chuckles to you as you walk through the glass doors into the conference room. You notice her right away, smiling at Christen from across the table as she swivels side to side in her chair. Her hair is pulled tight into a bun—well a half bun, maybe? You're not quite sure what it is but you can't deny it makes her cheekbones look incredible. Her black shirt hugs her chest tights, a silver box-chained necklace hanging around her neck. She looks up at you and offers a smile. The same smile she offers to Pinoe seconds later.

“Hey ladies. Was just asking Christen here where she disappeared to the other night,” she smirks.

“Leave the poor girl alone,” you laugh as Christen offers a thank you through her laughs. Pinoe begins pressing for whatever information she can get but HAO walks in a puts a stop to it quickly.

“Ladies, I have to go let Joelle in. Everyone ready?” You all nod and Pinoe adds a, “yes boss” with a salute before HAO disappears through the hall. Pinoe takes the seat next to Christen so you end up between her and Ashlyn.

“Everyone going to keep it in their pants today?” Pinoe chuckles. “Well, everyone besides Joelle?”

“No promises,” Ashlyn snickers.

“You're all talk, Harris. Woman was begging for you last week and you don't even give her the time of day. Wasteful!” She throws her hands up, exasperated.

“Did Kyle have fun?” Ashlyn asks you, ignoring Pinoe.

“Yeah, thanks for encouraging him to come out,” you smile. She gives you a genuine grin and starts writing some notes while she adds something about him always being a good time. It's weird sitting this close to her. You don't know what you were expecting—teasing, touching, any type of flirting? But it's...normal. It's work, you remind yourself. You're at work and you're expecting her to brush her knee against yours under the table? Pull. Yourself. Together.

Joelle is as beautiful as you remembered, if not more so. She shakes all of your hands again and you're almost positive it was an excuse to touch Ashlyn. Though she gives you a pretty warm smile, yourself. Most of the conversation runs smoothly, all of you coming up with a number of ideas Joelle seems excited about. Nothing, however, gets her as excited as Ashlyn's logos—even the most basic ones. Ashlyn shows her rough sketches and a few digitized versions of different logo ideas, all of which Joelle _oohs_ and _ahhs_ at and you don't think you've ever seen someone be so overt in wanting someone in a business meeting. She even leans across the table to get a closer look, her hand almost always finding Ashlyn's tattooed forearms.

It's not until the meetings over and she not-so-secretly slips Ashlyn her number on a ripped piece of paper that you realize the knot in your stomach could be jealousy. You obviously ignore the thought, focusing more on the shock in Ashlyn's eyes as she feels the paper connect with her palm. HAO shows her out again and you all fall back into your seats.

“Holy shit,” Pinoe laughs. “You're kidding me.” Ashlyn unravels the paper.

“I'll be at The Tap Room in thirty,” Ashlyn reads, followed by her number scribbled at the bottom.

“You're going,” Pinoe shakes her head.

“No way.”

“What? Yes! Look at that woman!”

“Our _client_ ,” Ashlyn reminds her.

“You're going.” Ashlyn rolls her eyes and starts packing up her bag. “Ash, when is the last time you got laid?”

“More recently than _you_ ,” Ashlyn chuckles, avoiding the question.

“It doesn't seem like Ashlyn needs any help in that department,” Christen chimes in.

“Thank you, Christen. I'll remember that next time I'm teasing you relentlessly about Tobin.” Christen rolls her eyes.

“Tobin?!” Pinoe looks around but is quickly brought back to the moment when Ashlyn tries to stand up. “Look, I know you don't need help but it's like you've lost all interest! What, have you gone and wifed someone up secretly?”

“No,” Ashlyn quickly defends and before you can breath she adds, “Fine, I'll go if you shut up.”

Ashlyn packs her stuff up while Christen and Pinoe cheer in the corner. You grab your notebook and laptop as quickly as you can and, as soon as Ashlyn heads out the door, you're behind her heading towards your desk.

“Behave yourself!” Pinoe shouts from the room. “Or don't!”

Ashlyn shakes her head, clearly expecting you to be behind her and adds, “she's ridiculous.” You manage a hearty laugh before you start to veer towards your desk.

“I'm headed this way,” you nod. “Have fun tonight,” you smile noting how your eyes fall flat. It's not the thought of Ashlyn with Joelle that gets you. It's the fact that since you've seen the blonde, she's acted as normal as possible. Not even a brush of your shoulders.

“You could go for me,” Ashlyn jokes. “I'm sure she wouldn't mind.”

“I couldn't disappoint her like that,” you smile, falling back into the ease of conversation you've always had with the blonde. “Have a good night, Ash,” you smile before decidedly turning towards your desk.

You don't want to think about Ashlyn. Not anymore. Kyle said it best. Stop thinking so damn much. So instead, you do what you do best. You run until your lungs give out, lift until you're shaking, shower until the steam fills your lungs. Then, when you're alone in bed, you call Tara.

It's unfair, you think. It's unfair of you to call her to avoid thinking about what is really going on in your head. But when she arrives in a pair of tight denim shorts and a barely-there tank top, you don't think about Ashlyn once.

 

* * *

 

“Come on, it's the Euros!” Whitney whines through the phone. “Ash says HAO and Pinoe are coming. Christen and Tobs, too. All the girls. Come on.”

“I'm exhausted,” you sigh. You were planning on watching the match alone in your bed, especially after it started raining. “I'm already in sweats.”

“Get your ass up. I'm picking you up in twenty.” Whitney hangs up the phone and you know you have no choice. You shimmy out from under the blanket and slowly head towards your room. Thankfully, your hair is already dry from your shower so you slide on some black skinny jeans, a plain grey tee and some black high tops. You're finishing your makeup when your phones vibrating with a call from Whitney.

“We're outside. Bring an umbrella.” _Ugh._ One thing your hair didn't miss—Florida humidity and rain. The sky is black from clouds and the rain is pelting your umbrella. You rush into the backseat of the car, closing the umbrella up as quickly as you can.

“You're buying me a drink,” you grumble and Whitney and Ashlyn chuckle. They both have their hair down and, from what you can see, are wearing respective black shirts. Whitney's a tight v-neck, Ashlyn's a loose fitted short sleeve boxy one with two white stripes around the sleeves. She turns towards you in the back seat and smiles.

“Not bad for twenty minutes, Kriegs,” she eyes you with a laugh.

“Shut up,” you roll your eyes. “I was already in bed.”

“It's two o'clock.”

“Look out the window!” You throw your arms up. “It's miserable out here.”

“Welcome to Florida,” Whitney laughs and you all join in.

Ashlyn turns on Taylor Swift and you've never been so surprised.

“You've never looked so Florida Girl,” you roll your eyes when she starts belting out Bad Blood. Ashlyn ignores you, her voice only getting louder.

You arrive at a newly opened bar you can't remember even seeing before and Whitney drops you and Ash at the door. You hand her your still wet umbrella and run out our of the car until you're in shelter. You and Ashlyn hand your IDs out to the bouncer. He nods with a smile and you're surprised at how packed the bar is. Ashlyn looks like she's about to ask you something when Alex and Tobin come running over to pull you into hugs. They're both a drink or two in and clearly haven't let the rain dampen the mood. Tobin starts rambling about how excited she is for the game when Alex cuts her off.

“Where's Whit?” She asks the blonde walks through the door. They quickly brush past you to hug her and you're left alone again.

“Let's go grab seats while we can,” Ashlyn says, her hand falling to the small of your back as she guides you in front of her. You hate yourself for missing the contact the second she drops her hand. You quickly spot Christen next to Pinoe and HAO and you snag the two seats next to Pinoe. The girls all offer you a polite smile before Pinoe leans across you to get to Ashlyn.

“Spill, blondie,” she demands and it's like you'd forgotten all about Joelle. Ashlyn rolls her eyes and waves down the bartender but now HAO and Christen are in the mix. Ashlyn fends them off long enough to order a drink and, by the time she's acknowledged them, Alex and Tobin are resting on Pinoe and Christen's shoulders waiting for answers.

“What?” Ashlyn throws her hands up. “We went for drinks, she's cool,” Ashlyn shrugs.

“ _Cool?_?” Pinoe's mouth drops open.

“She's obviously beautiful,” Ashlyn rolls her eyes, knowing what Pinoe is really looking for.

“So did you or didn't you?” Alex asks. All eyes are on Ashlyn. You're glad momentarily that, from your seat, only Ashlyn can see your expression. And even she's too busy being grilled by her friends to notice you. You're uncomfortably close. The bar stools are only inches apart and with your body turned towards her like this, you can notice every freckle and crinkle near her eye crystal clear.

“You think Joelle would have let me out of there without trying something?” Ashlyn chuckles with a barely there smirk. Your body tenses and the only way you keep your head on right is by thinking about your night with Tara. There's no reason to feel jealous when you have someone like Tara in your life. Ashlyn takes a sip of her whiskey and tries to ignore the girls but the questions keep flooding. Finally, as the game is starting, she puts her drink down and turns to everyone.

“Look. She's hot. We had fun. Not gonna happen again. No, it won't ruin anything at work. That's it. Now can we watch the game?” Her tone isn't harsh but you can tell the attention is unwanted. Pinoe, on the other hand, decides to buy a round of shots to celebrate Ashlyn “nailing the hottest client of all time.” Ashlyn laughs, accepts the shot, and finally relaxes once your friends are fully distracted by the game. The bar is loud. So loud that when Ashlyn leans in and says, “they're relentless” it sounds like a faint mumble from across the room. If it weren't for her Old Spice scent hitting your nose you might have missed it altogether.

“Huh?” You finally ask after you realize you missed what she said.

“They're relentless.” She takes a sip of her drink, licking her lips to get more of the taste.

“I can't believe you slept with her,” you chuckle, the words spilling out of your mouth.

“Why?” She asks with a small smile.

“They basically had to force you to go last night.”

“That's only because I _knew_ I shouldn't. Doesn't mean I didn't want to,” she shrugs. You nod, your attention diverting after the bar erupts in “OHHHH” after a near goal. You wait until the crowd settles before you turn to her again.

“So why won't it happen again?” Ashlyn's eyebrows raise as if to challenge you, her tongue peeking through her lips slightly. She leans into your ear, her breath hitting your neck instantly.

“Let's just say I like my woman a bit more... proactive.” You hate the way she makes your cheeks heat up. You hate how much she knows it. You hate how, suddenly, you feel like a high schooler again. You turn towards her and she mouths _pillow princess_ and you start laughing, your body relaxing with the sight of her smile.

“No way.”

“Oh, absolutely,” she shakes her head and you can't stop yourself from giggling. “She just wanted me to fuck her.” The vulgarity sends a heat through your entire core. Your leg muscles tighten and you try to wash out the sound from your ears.

“I wouldn't have expected that from her. She seems so...”

“Right? For someone so into being in charge she was most definitely _not_.” You shake your head doing everything in your power to _not_ picture the scene.

“Well, what happens when she comes back wanting more? You just gonna ignore her?” Ashlyn smirks.

“What makes you so sure she's coming back?” You roll your eyes. You're suddenly enthralled by the banter. You take a sip of your drink and lean into her ear.

“You're right, I'm not. I'm most definitely _not_ a pillow princess, so to assume I know how one thinks would be unfair.” When you pull away, Ashlyn's lips are slightly parted, her mouth seemingly dry. For only a second, her eyes are dark and soft all at once. As soon as a crooked smile appears on you lips, Ashlyn breaks out into one, her head shaking as she looks towards her drink.

“You're too much,” she laughs. You both focus on the game for a bit and, about three minutes into your silence, Ashlyn stands slightly to readjust her jeans before sitting back down, her left thigh now brushing against yours. You can't tell if it was intentional or not—her readjusting her seat to move closer to you—and you hate that she's so damn smooth. Your skin feels electric, tiny jolts sparking every time her one of your legs move slightly.

Right as France is on a counter attack, the bar's noise picks up until a sudden, ground shaking thunder silences you all momentarily. Once the crowd realizes the noise was external, the focus is back on the game.

“You okay?” Ashlyn leans in, her hand falling completely onto your knee.

“Yeah,” you mumble.

“You jumped about three feet off your stool” she smiles. You chuckle with her. When you turn back towards the game, Ashlyn's hand stays put. You try not to pay attention to the contact, but something about her touch has your entire being focused on the locus of contact.

You become aware of your surroundings when Tobin jumps on her stool screaming something about Ronaldo and the entire bar erupts. You look up and Ronaldo is sprinting down the flank on a one vs one situation. You can't tell who makes a break into the box, but just as Ronaldo is about to cross it to a wide open man, the entire bar goes black.

“WHAT?!” Tobin and just about every other person in the place shouts. Voices get louder before they get quiet.

“It looks like the power is out! We're working on getting it back up. We're so sorry, just hang tight!” The man you assume is the manager shouts from the atop of the bar.

“We gotta go!” Tobin urges, Alex and HAO quickly agreeing. “They might have just scored! Somebody check!” Alex pulls out her phone.

“1-0!”

“YES!” Tobin shouts and HAO and Christen join in, the rest of you dejected. Alex keeps scrolling on her phone.

“Powers out on this entire side of town. It's nasty out there.”

“Why don't we go back to our place? We at least have a generator. We can steam the game on our phones or iPad's if we lose power,” Whitney suggests and the girls are all up on their feet before Ashlyn can agree or disagree. You're all grabbing your belongings when a stumbling woman crashes into you.

"Kelley!" You look surprised when your phone screen lights up her face. It becomes clear that she's not just stumbling because of the power outage. She's absolutely and undeniably wasted. She mumbles something about how good you look and you quickly grab Alex's hand to pull her closer.

"Kelley, what the hell are you doing here? I thought you had a date," Alex stables Kelley by her hips.

"I do," she confirms. Alex sighs as she turns towards you. 

"She's getting cold feet. The girl called her her girlfriend yesterday and Kelley nearly had a meltdown."

"I did not," Kelley slurs in protest. Alex ignores her. 

"Well where are you supposed to be right now? Are you meeting her somewhere? You can't just stand her up."

"Our place."

"Ugh. Come on," Alex grabs her wrist and turns towards you and the now present Whit and Ash behind you. "I'm sorry guys, I gotta take this girl home. Text me when you guys make it home safe."

"You too," you all say in unison before Alex drags her roommate through the crowd.

The three of you look at each other, unsure whether to laugh or feel sorry for them both. You shrug, hoping Kelley figures things out with her girl soon. You follow your friends out the door, sprinting to Whit's car. By the time you're in the back seat, the three of you are entirely soaked.

“Don't worry,” Ash laughs when she sees you peeling the shirt from your skin. “We can give you some dry clothes.” You smile as Whitney pulls out slowly. The windshield wipers are little-to-no help and you can imagine how frustrated Tobin is that you can't exceed ten miles per hour on the road. That is, if you want any chance of making it home alive.

“It's bad out here,” Whitney says. She's focused hard on the road. Ashlyn opted not to play music as it would add only another distracter to your ride.

It takes you almost twenty minutes to complete the normally five minute drive. You don't mind, though. Between the pellets of rain coming down on the windshield and the booming thunder and the lightning that lights up the whole sky, it's all kind of calming. There are trees down on the side of the road near Whit and Ash's house. As soon as you pull into their driveway, you all sprint inside. You take your shoes off at the door and Ashlyn begins pulling off her damp shirt over her head, leaving her only in a black sports bra. She turns quickly, stepping into what you realize is their laundry room.

“You guys can leave the damp stuff down here,” she calls from just inside the open door. “I can run the wash tonight so you can have your own dry clothes asap. Whitney listens without a hitch, her shirt coming off just as quickly. She walks into the room and within seconds comes out in a regular, tan bra and a pair of what you assume to be Ashlyn's boxers. They're black with yellow smiley faces all over them.

“Cute,” you laugh as Whitney walks towards the stairs that lead to her room.

“At least she's dry,” Ashlyn says as she steps out from the door. She's in the same black sports bra but is now without her jeans, sporting only a pair of slightly damp briefs. The firm v you felt through her jeans the other night is more prominent than you imagined, coming out from her briefs and leading up to toned abs. You eyes fall onto her tattooed side. The tattoos you didn't know existed surprise you even more with the color running throughout. You've never wanted to touch her more, her body exposed and intricately designed, rising and falling slightly with her breath. You lick your lips, her body doing things to you you'd rather not admit. Ashlyn, her throat suddenly dry from your intense gaze, can only manage to clear her throat. Your eyes jump up to hers, startled by the sound.

“Um, if you leave your wet clothes here I can wash them. I have some dry stuff upstairs for you,” she offers and you can't remember her ever sounding so shy. “You can grab a pair of shorts if you want.” You smile a “thanks” as Ashlyn walks past you and says she'll meet you upstairs. You strip off your damp shirt, throwing it into the wash. You struggle to slip out of your skinny jeans and grab a pair of dry soccer shorts only when you realize you're wearing a thong. You head upstairs, Whitney passing you on the way down. She offers to make you a drink and as soon as you agree, the rest of the girls all come rushing in the door. Whitney points to the laundry room. You hear her listing off where to put their clothes while you head towards Ashlyn's room. You're surprised at how composed you are. Maybe, you think, it's how meek the blonde had looked only seconds ago.

When you enter through her room, she's standing inside her closet still in the same outfit you left her in. She's facing a row of sweatpants when you finally announce yourself.

“You sure you don't mind if I borrow some clothes?” You ask. You know you're setting yourself up for a snide remark from the barely-clothed woman but, if you're being honest, that's exactly what you want. Instead she turns towards you, her eyes hooded and her cheeks flushed.

“Of course not,” she mumbles. You find yourself walking towards her, her eyes struggling to maintain eye-contact. She gives in, her eyes falling to your taut abs and up to your chest. You see her chest rise and fall quickly and she turns away towards the clothes.

“How about sweatpants?” She steadies her voice now that she's not looking at you. “Or are you okay with shorts?” With her back turned towards you, you've never felt so much power over her. You step closer. You notice her tense up when your body is only inches from hers and, when you can't take the separation anymore, you let your hands fall lightly to the front of her hips, half on her briefs and half on her skin. You feel her jolt but when you press up against her back, she relaxes into you.

“Do you have a preference?” You husk as you come onto your tiptoes, your lips near her ear. She lets out a choppy breath.

“I—I think sweatpants will be warmer,” she hardly manages. You let out a light giggle before your nose grazes the crook of her neck. Your don't even press down before she mumbles a soft, “Ali.”

“Mhm?” You smile against her skin. Your hands wander up her abs, feeling every muscle and movement the blonde makes as your lips finally press open against her neck. She leans her head back, creating more space for you to kiss.

“I didn't know you had this,” you say into her skin as your fingers trace the tattoo running up her side. She doesn't answer. No, she can't. Her chest is rising and falling and she's a puddle in front of you. You've never been so turned on and you pull her body closer, your lips taking in more of her skin. You pick up the pace, both of you muffling moans. You bite down softly near her pulse point and Ashlyn gasps. Finally, she seems to regain composure and tears herself off of you, her body turning towards you. You've never seen her so determined, you think. Not at state cups your junior year, not her NCAA championship her freshman year. No, her eyes are focused on one thing. You.

“Ash?” Pinoe's singing voice breaks you both from the world you've created inside of Ashlyn's closet. She's rounding the corner as she says, “Whit said you'd have some pants for me and HAO. Where are you?”

“In here,” Ashlyn manages with a steady voice. You take a step back as Ashlyn's eyes look you up and down once over before turning towards her wardrobe. Pinoe appears and only falters for a second. “Just grabbing Ali some pants, too. Does HAO want sweats?” She confirms as she throws a pair at Pinoe. You're not sure how she's managing to act so normal now while you're suddenly struggling to find your resting heart rate. You lips are tingling and your breath is anything but steady.

“Yeah, thanks, dood,” Pinoe smiles. “Who knew it would be this easy to get into your pants,” she jokes and Ashlyn just rolls her eyes.

“Typical,” she laughs as she throws her friend two plain tees. “Do Tobs or Christen need some?”

“Whit is grabbing theirs, I think,” Pinoe replies. “Tobin refuses to leave the TV.” Ashlyn laughs.

“Help yourselves to socks or underwear or whatever it is you need,” she shrugs as she turns towards you. You watch how much it kills her to hold back a smirk. You smile as she points towards a pair of black sweats from her UNC days. “These good?” She asks.

“Thanks,” you grab them as she hands you a gray tee with HARRIS written on the back. You don't know why it makes your heart swell.

 

You're sitting on her bed, pulling the pants up over your finally dry legs. You force yourself not to look behind you as Ashlyn changes out her wet sports bra for a dry one. Right as you think you've come back down to earth, thunder strikes and, at once, darkness takes over the house.

“FUCK!” Tobin yells from downstairs.

“Ugh,” Ashlyn echoes the sentiment. “Damn it.”

“Well,” you hear Pinoe's voice grow louder from beside you. “SLEEPOVER PARTY!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I'm sorry. If you can't tell, tensions about to break.
> 
> I love reading all of your comments so thank you so much for that!! xx


	7. Infinite Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: smut ahead.

It takes four iPhone flashlights, three pairs of hands and ten minutes but Ashlyn finally gets the generator running. It's not much, but now you've got a working fridge, running water and a small light in the kitchen. Whitney lights enough candles throughout the house to illuminate every possible walkway. You smile, finally feeling at home. Growing up, you spent countless nights in blanket forts with Kyle—flashlights in hand—playing imaginary games while you waited out the storms. Darkness, in a weird way, feels like home.

Tobin helps Ashlyn set up the iPad to get the game up and streaming. Luckily, Ashlyn's company paid for 4G so the stream works without power. It's only an iPad, though, and there's eight of you. So, you sit in three rows—the couch acting as a sort of bleacher. Tobin, Alex, and Christen lean against the couch. Pinoe sits behind Tobs on the center of the couch, you and HAO on each side. Whitney hops up behind Pinoe on the top frame of the couch, her back resting against the wall. Ashlyn, who was busy grabbing everyone's drinks, sits beside Whitney. This, unfortunately for you, places her right behind you. Her legs are too long to sit comfortably behind you and you're forced to sit forward so she can spread her legs around your torso. You comfortably fall back against the couch, her calves resting on both sides of your arms.

You're mind is frozen. You can't believe you just came onto her like that. Worse, you can't believe _this_ is where you've ended up—in between Ashlyn's legs (in an entirely different way than you'd imagined)—with seven other girls on a couch. Fucking electricity, you mumble. If anyone hears you, they don't say anything. They're laser focused on the nine inch iPad in front of you, Tobin shrieking every time Portugal passes midfield.

You can't remember ever thinking this before but, right now, you just want this damn game to be over. Your upper back is pressed against Ashlyn's center and you don't know how much longer you can sit like this. Ashlyn regained her composure the second Pinoe entered her room. You, on the other hand, are still working on controlling the throbbing throughout your body.

Maybe, you think, it's a sign. Pinoe and this power outage interrupted whatever you were about to do for a reason. Yes, you were being irresponsible. You thought none of it through. You let your body takeover and, while it's the most you've been turned on—maybe ever—you didn't think about what will happen after the fact.

As that thought enters your mind, Ashlyn's fingers brush against the back of your neck. She slowly drags them across your skin, goosebumps erupting. It hits you then that even if you decided to put your attraction to the blonde aside, it doesn't seem like she intends to stop her advances.

 

“YES! YES! YES!” Tobin practically throws the iPad as her and Christen pull into a hug. There's a mix of dejected and overly excited noises and you realize the game is finally over.

“Okay, okay,” Whitney says and, even in the dark, you know she's rolling her eyes. “I need another drink.” She walks over towards the kitchen as the light shines on her. Christen grabs the candle from the window and places it on the coffee table in the center of the living room, illuminating all of your faces.

“Maybe we should try and go home before it gets too bad out there?” Tobin suggests.

“Are you crazy?” Ashlyn shakes her head. “You're all sleeping here. There are trees down all over the road. We have plenty of sleeping spots and blankets. I can set you two up together,” she smirks as Tobin's cheeks turn red.

“Are you sure?” HAO asks.

“Don't be stupid. Of course.” Ashlyn stands from behind you as she hops off the couch.

“I call Whit's bed!” HAO screams out.

“I call Ashlyn's!” Pinoe shouts and your chest tightens. _Fuck_.

“Sorry, champ,” Ashlyn laughs lightly. “Ali already claimed it.” Your being practically explodes. You're not sure whether to be touched or annoyed at her presumption. You almost laugh at that thought when you remind yourself that _you_ were the one that practically jumped her moments ago.

“Damn it,” Pinoe quickly mumbles. “Fine, I guess I'm stuck with the lovebirds.”

“You can try to squeeze in with us or sleep on my floor,” Whit laughs.

“We're not lovebirds!” Tobin tries but you all just chuckle. For as preceptive as your friends are, you wonder why no one has said anything about you and Ashlyn.

You all group around the the kitchen counter (and only large amount of light downstairs), taking a celebratory “power outage 2k16 shot.” Pinoe convinces you to take another one for being the “second contender to fuck Joelle” and suddenly your buzz is full on. Tobin sits on one of the barstool and begins playing a James Bay remix you've never heard before on her phone. HAO turns towards you and Pinoe, telling you a story about a coworker when Christen suddenly takes a seat on Tobin's lap. Your entire group goes quiet, eyes falling on the pair.

“You guys are so damn cute,” Pinoe says honestly. Finally, with a slight smile, Christen responds.

“Thanks.” Your group erupts, finally receiving confirmation.

“What?! We need details!” HAO smiles and Tobin's eyes are wide. She leans into Christen and whispers _you don't have to_ but the woman smiles.

“I—I'm sorry if you felt like we we're sneaking around. It's just I've...I've never been with a woman.” Everyone's jaw drops. Though it's not _that_ shocking—you knew Christen was into Tobin the moment you saw them together—you hadn't expected this to be the reason for Christen's hesitance. “I'm gay,” Christen laughs when she sees all of your faces. “ _Definitely_ gay. I'd just never met someone I connected with enough to be with and, you know, tell my family and all that. Tobin's been letting me ease into this so I didn't get too overwhelmed.”

“Aw,” Whitney and you coo at the same time. Pinoe leans over and gives Christen and Tobin and exaggerated hug.

“Well I am _definitely_ crashing in your room,” Pinoe says to Whit with a light laugh.

“Seriously,” Ashlyn smiles. “We're super happy for you both. And if you need any ears to listen, you've got plenty of gays with experience in the room,” she laughs as Christen relaxes into Tobin.

“Thanks, guys,” Christen smiles. It's like Tobin's been waiting her entire life to kiss Christen and, though you can tell it's not their first time (or second or third), she turns Christen's face towards her and pulls her into a deep and desperate kiss. You turn away, suddenly reminded of the blonde across from you. While everyone's eyes are on the couple, Ashlyn's are on you.

Thunder strikes, breaking up their kiss and prompting Whitney to pour another round of shots.

“Never have I ever!” Pinoe calls before you all down the shot.

“We're gonna need more than a shot,” Ashlyn smirks and Whit hands her a bunch of solo cups. You dump your shots into the cups as she pours orange juice over them.This is normally a game you would all object to, but with no electricity or other source of entertainment, this may be all you have.

“Okay,” Pinoe smiles. “Never have I ever slept with a guy.” Everyone except Tobin takes a sip and Pinoe turns to Ash.

“You?”

“High school,” she shrugs like it isn't surprising.

“Okay, okay,” HAO smiles, “never have I ever had a one night stand.” You're about to sip when you remember that it was, in fact, _two_ nights. Even if you didn't fully remember the first. You smirk at the old memory when Ashlyn's eyes fall on you. She takes a sip, her hazel orbs locked with yours. There's a mischief in her eyes. You're so focused on the blonde that you miss Pinoe and Whitney taking a sip.

“Never have I ever had sex outside,” Whitney smiles and you, Tobin and Ashlyn all take a sip.

“What haven't you done,” Whitney rolls her eyes at her roommate.

“It's Florida!” Ashlyn defends. “We grew up on a beach!” She points to you and Tobin. “Why aren't you giving them shit!” Whitney just laughs as you and Tobin blush.

“Never have I ever had phone sex,” Tobin smiles and your face only deepens its cooler when you have to take a sip. Lucky for you, HAO's doing the same.

“Long distance is hard,” she blushes as she hides behind her cup. Ashlyn shoots you raised eyebrows but Christen's voice saves you.

“Never have I ever had a threesome,” Christen smiles. All eyes turn to Ashlyn immediately and, lucky for you, the group misses you sneaking a tiny sip. Well, everyone but Ashlyn. You plead with your eyes for her not to say anything and she offers you a smirk. You know you'll be paying for that later.

“Never?” Pinoe asks Ashlyn, more than a bit surprised.

“I'm a one woman type gal,” she grins and the girls laugh, looking to you for the next turn.

“Okay,” you start, “never have I ever forgotten someone's name during sex.”

It's Pinoe and Ashlyn who take a sip now and all of you gasp.

“You're horrible people!” Whitney shouts through the laughter.

“I know, I know,” Pinoe shakes her head.

“I'm out,” Ashlyn laughs as she flips her cup upside down. Not even a drip falls from her cup.

“Shocker,” Whitney rolls her eyes.

“Oh give it up,” Ashlyn slides her empty cup towards Whitney. “That was sabotage. You and HAO have been wifed up for years.” You all laugh as Whit turns towards you.

“Speaking of, how are things with Tara going?” The name slaps you in the chest. You hate yourself for not thinking about her, but you quickly remember your talk. She wants you to do what you need to do. You offer Whitney a shrug, trying your best to ignore Ashlyn's eyes on you.

“She was starting to move a bit fast,” you admit. “We talked it out and it's all good. We're just taking a step back. Still hanging out,” you add when you see the blonde's smile widen. “Just not trying to put pressure on anything. I just moved back so, you know, day by day, that sort of thing.”

“That's smart of you,” Whitney compliments and HAO smiles, adding something about a mature decision. “She is really great. I hope it works out.”

“Yeah, me too,” you find yourself mumbling half heartedly.

Tobin lets out a yawn as Christen's head falls onto her shoulder.

“I'm with you,” Whit agrees with a laugh.

“I'll go grab you two blankets. Is the couch okay? I'd offer the air mattress but I'm not sure we'll be able to blow it up,” Ashlyn offers with a dopey smile.

“That's perfect,” Tobin smiles. “Thanks, dude.”

Ashlyn disappears while you help Whit clean up the kitchen. She blows out a few of the candles once the kitchen's clear, grabbing water bottles from the fridge for the girls. She turns towards you.

“You're good with Ash?” She asks softly once Pinoe and HAO walk over to help Ashlyn set up the couch. Whitney's never asked you about the blonde like this. Your friendship has always been a sort of interconnected triangle. Whitney never talks to you about Ashlyn, unless to complain about a stupid situation she put her in, so you're not sure how to respond.

“Of course, why?”

“I know she can be a handful,” she shrugs, leaving it at that. She walks over to the group to hand them their water. She says goodnight and heads upstairs, Pinoe and HAO following close behind.

“I'll meet you upstairs?” You mumble to Ashlyn before saying goodnight to Tobin and Christen. They're cuddled on the couch, the two of them practically laying atop the other to fit. Ashlyn nods and you find your way to her room, the candles in Whitney's room lighting the path. You stop in the bathroom to quickly wash up.

Any second, you'll be alone with the blonde. The same blonde you came onto only hours earlier. Your heart rate starts picking up and, even with alcohol running coursing through your veins, your nerves hit you. When HAO walks into the bathroom, you actually jump.

“Woah, sorry, Al,” she chuckles.

“Sorry. It's so dark,” you mumble. “You just surprised me.” She places a hand on your shoulder and even her touch calms you.

“Careful,” she whispers with a laugh. “Ashlyn _lives_ for scaring people.”

“Noted,” you laugh, as you turn towards Ashlyn's room. “Goodnight.”

 

You jump for the second time when you see Ashlyn sitting on the edge of her bed, the dark red comforter beneath her black sweats. There's one candle lit on her dresser, lighting up only half of the room. You close the door behind you and she stands. When she steps forward, you lean back against the door.

“Did I startle you?” She husks and she's more composed than your last encounter. She doesn't stop walking until she's less than a a foot from you. Her arm slides past your side as she reaches for the doorknob, locking it behind you. “Are you going to finish what you started?” You gulp, Ashlyn's eyes falling to your lips. When you freeze, she inches closer, her hand tucking a loose stray of hair behind your ear. “What?” She whispers. “You're gonna act all shy now? Two hours ago you had me practically paralyzed,” she leans into your ear, her voice soft. “Then you're down there talking about phone sex and a threesome,” Her breath is hot. Her hand falls to your hip. She slides a finger into your waistband as she gently tugs it towards her. You want to husk something back, make her squirm in front of you, but you can only revel in her touch. She starts to pull your sweatpants down, stopping when she reaches the middle of your thigh. “I covered for you down there,” she smirks as the the idea of you in a threesome comes pops into her head. “So when are you gonna let me in on those details?” Her lips are against your ear and, for the first time since you entered her room, your confidence spikes.

“You're gonna have to earn those,” you say, voice low. She pulls back, her eyes suggestive.

“And how would you like me to do that?” You don't give answer. Your hands drop to your sweats as you push them far enough down your legs for you to step out of them, leaving your bottom half in only a thong. Your hands land on her chest and you gently push her backwards. She lets your hands guide her back until her knees buckle against her bed. She lets herself fall onto it.

“Let me be clear,” you husk as you slowly start to slide her sweatpants down, revealing a pair of tight briefs similar to a pair of Nike Pros she would have worn in your soccer days. You take a moment, both of you in gray tees with Harris on the back, to look at the woman beneath you. You crawl onto the bed, your knees landing on either side of her hips. You keep yourself hovering over her. “If I'm going to do this, I'm doing it _my_ way.” Ashlyn bites down on her lip, a smile breaking beneath her teeth.

“You're just full of surprises,” Ashlyn grins, her voice. You reach down, pulling her shirt up her body. She lifts her back an inch off the mattress so you can slide it over her head. “And here I was thinking you were never gonna give in,” she smirks. You let your hips fall onto her core, her black sports bra resting right above it. You feel her tense beneath you, her hands falling onto your thighs.

“Well you made it clear you weren't backing off anytime soon. At least if I give in, I get something out of it,” you smirk back, your hands tracing abs. The look of the blonde beneath you, her eyes wide and dark with want, has your heat building. The dim candlelight makes Ashlyn look softer than you can ever remember seeing. As soon as you have that thought, Ashlyn sits up and flips you onto your back, straddling your hips. When you let out a small _oomf_ the blonde covers your mouth with her hand.

“Shh,” she whispers, reminding you of the girls across the hall. You sit up, struggling against her muscle, until your face is inches from hers. Her hand finds the back of your neck, her strong fingers moving softly against your skin. She's gentler than you expected and you hate that you've imagined she'd be like. Your body is throbbing, your heart pounding. No one's ever had a hold of you like this, not in the physical sense. Her eyes search yours before flickering down to your lips and yours immediately drop to hers. Her hand runs up through your hair, pulling your face closer until your foreheads collide. For a moment, you're both frozen. Your breathing heavy, her body suddenly not nearly close enough to yours.

“Fuck,” she breathes as she pulls your lips against hers.

Your stomach drops as she she takes your bottom lip into hers and you press back harder, immediately needing more of the blonde. Your hands fumble around her torso as she finds the back of your neck. You bite down lightly, an immediate moan leaving her lips. She quickens the pace of the kiss as her hands trail down your back. A rush jolts through your body. You're desperate. So desperate that you pull her down onto you, begging for her body to be against yours. Her lips leave yours to find your neck as her bare thigh presses into your core. She kisses under your ear and down your neck. Every inch of you aches for her. Your lips, your neck, your chest, your center. Your body presses up into and you feel her smirk against your skin.

“You like that?”

Her teasing snaps you out of her trance. You push blonde off of you. She falls on her side but you quickly slam her flat onto the mattress. She's stunned in every sense of the word. Her lips are puffy, her eyes hooded. She tugs at the t-shirt hugging your frame.

“Off.”

You slide it over your head, revealing the same black bra you were in earlier. Her hands gravitate right to your core as your legs straddle her hips again. You lean down, your core grinding against her hips, as you lean into her ear. Her hands immediately find your ass, pulling you further onto her. Your lips connect with her neck, forcefully taking in her skin. You work up to her pulse point, you teeth gentle working into the spot before your lips close around it. Her nails dig into your bare skin as she leans into your ear.

“Fuck, Al.” The sound of your own name has never turned you own quite like this.

“I was worried you gonna forget my name,” you chuckle against her ear. She only pulls your hips down further against her.

You would do anything, you think, to kick the remaining six girls out of the house. You pull away from her neck, your lips finding hers. Her tongue brushes against your lips before it enters your mouth and you just about unwind. Her hands move up your back until she reaches the clasp of your bra, unhooking it in one fell swoop. After she slides it off your arms, she grabs you from the waist to hoist you up a few inches until your breast is in her mouth.

“Ugh,” you fail to muffle yourself and you've never been so grateful for thunder.

 

For a moment, you forget this is Ashlyn Harris. It's the way her hands are rough with you yet smooth to the touch. The way she lifts you yet lets you slam her down. The way her kiss is familiar yet new every second. The way her body moves perfectly against yours. The way her hands can't seem to stop searching every inch of you. You forget this is your first time fucking. You're fucking Ashlyn Harris.

 

She tries to fight you for dominance once more when you push her down by the shoulders.

“No,” you breathe, your chest rising and falling. You pull her sports bra over her head before sliding her briefs down her legs. You eyes fall over her toned body.

“God,” she mumbles, her eyes searching for yours as she brushes your hair from your face. “You're too fucking much.” You trail kisses down her jaw, then her collarbone, down to her chest. You move down her torso, kissing every detail you seem to find. When you get to her hips, you're forced to hold them down as she buckles beneath you. Your lips move onto her thighs before coming back to her center. You look up, Ashlyn panting down at you. You want to make a snide remark about “what she's been begging for” or something more seductive than that, but by the time your lips open, Ashlyn's hand is pushing your head back towards her center. You only tease her for a second longer before the tension is too much for you, too.

 

Your tongue slides through her center and God is she wet. The blonde is shaking beneath you and, within seconds, she has a pillow over her face to muffle her moans. She buckles up into you and you shove her hips back down against the mattress. As soon as you lessen the pressure against her clit, she's writhing against your lips, unraveling completely. You let her ride it out until her body stills and, slowly, you slide up her body.

She doesn't open her eyes until her breath calms. Then, she rolls onto her side to face you, her hand falling onto your core.

“Fuck,” is all she can manage and, with the candlelight hitting her now disheveled self, she's never looked so stunning. She gently pushes your hip that's even with hers back until you're flat on your back. Her finger hooks the waistband of your thong, sliding it slowly down your legs. Her lips move towards the crook of your neck as she gently peppers kisses there, her hand stroking up and down your side. She leans into your ear. “You certainly don't disappoint.”

You can't even revel in the compliment before Ashlyn's body is on top of yours. Her lips start making ground across your body, spending extra time on your chest. She only slows when she comes back to your lips. She pulls away, eyes locked with yours, as she runs a finger through your wetness. You pull her down by the neck using her lips to muffle your moan.

“Fuck, Ash,” you breath as she slides a finger inside.

“Say it again,” she husks against you. “My name, say it.”

“Ash, please,” you beg, doing everything in your power to keep your voice down. She slides another finger inside and you buckle against her torso. When your legs start shaking and your breath picks up, she slows her pace as she begins kissing down your abs. Without removing her fingers, she runs her tongue through your folds.

“Fuck, babe,” the pet name slips out and you can't harp on it because, as soon as the words leave your lips, your writhing beneath the blonde.

 

She lets you come down while she catches her breath between your legs. It's not until she's laying beside you that she speaks up.

“Babe?” she smirks, her eyes falling to your lips.

“Please, like you've never gotten carried away in the moment,” you roll your eyes, grateful you manage to maintain some of your dignity. Ashlyn just smirks as she sits up and pulls the covers down.

“Want to get under?”

You sit up and maneuver under the covers. When you lay down on the pillow on your side of the bed, Ashlyn chuckles at the sudden distance between you.

“I don't bite,” she smiles. You raise your eyebrows because the blonde has just proved the opposite. “Okay, guilty,” she licks her lip.

“Fuck,” you shake your head, the reality hitting you. “I can't believe I just—we just—”

“Well, was it up to standards?” Ashlyn smiles, clearly knowing the answer. You roll your eyes. “Then what is there to think about?” She shrugs as the palm of her hand falls onto your abdominal. “God, Al, your body.” You let her hand gently work across your core to your lower back as you she inches closer. She feels you tense up and she stops her hand. “Look. You can either lay here stressing about whatever it is you're stressing about, or you can stop fighting it.”

You don't know if it's the infinite darkness or the rain hitting the window like hail or the sudden thunder shaking the room or the unbelievably hot blonde in front of you, but your mind shuts down, your body switching to autopilot.

The last thing you see is Ashlyn's infamous crooked grin before your lips crash into hers.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it got a bit graphic for some of you, I had a lot of requests to write this! Also not my strong suit in terms of writing. Thank you for all of the comments/messages, they keep me going!  
> My girl is visiting so I won't be able to write/update until after the weekend. Much love! xx


	8. The Morning After Ashlyn Harris

Your eyes pinch closed as the sudden brightness wakes you. You feel a body stir beside you and as soon as her scent hits you your eyes shoot open. The clothes you borrowed from Ashlyn are scattered on the floor and you're suddenly aware of your naked body. The night before hits you as sharply as the lights flicking on.

“The powers on,” Ashlyn whispers with a groggy throat. You turn to face her but she's already sitting on the edge of the bed, her back towards you. Her bare, toned, partially inked back. She fiddles with her phone for a moment before she leans down to lift her shit off the floor and over her head. Your heart, you realize, is pounding.

“Where are you going?” You ask when she stands.

“Shh,” she motions as she faces you. She points out in the hall and it's clear that the bathroom and Whitney's room are still dark. Ashlyn's room was the only one upstairs with the lights on when the power went out, so chances are the other girls are still fast asleep. You quickly avert your eyes when Ashlyn leans over to pick up her boxers before shimmying into them. “I'm going to make some coffee.”

“What time is it?” You groan before rolling onto your side. You have a death grip on the covers as if Ashlyn's never seen your exposed collarbones before.

“Five thirty.”

“What the heck,” you roll onto your side.

“I can't fall back asleep,” Ashlyn simply shrugs. “The suns coming up. Plus, the mornings after storms are my favorite.” It's something you never knew about the blonde. The same way you never knew the arch of her back or the feel of her lips or—stop it, Ali. You hate that you let your mind wander to the place you're actively ignoring.

“I'll be on the deck,” she whispers as she pulls a black hoodie over her torso. You wait until she's closed the door before slowly sitting up in bed. You're up now. It's five thirty in the morning. The morning _after_ you just had sex with Ashlyn Harris. A thought you never thought you'd have. You don't remember falling asleep last night. You're not sure if you fell asleep with tangled limbs or on opposite sides of the mattress. You were too worn out, chest rising and falling, as you faded into sleep. You're thankful for that fact or else you would have been up for the short amount of time you _did_ sleep overthinking everything that had just happened. You don't know if it's the abrupt way you were both awoken or if it's just the way Ashlyn is, but this morning felt oddly normal. Besides for your bare bodies, it felt like waking up next to Ashlyn a thousand times before. Except it wasn't.

Once you realize your mind isn't slowing down anytime soon, you roll onto your feet and slide into Ashlyn's sweatpants and tee. You opt to wash your face quickly before finding your way downstairs, your smile growing when you see a still sleeping Christen and Tobin entangled on the couch. Ashlyn has apparently already taken the liberty of turning the lights off for the pair. When it's clear Ashlyn's already made it outside, you find your way to their back sliding door.

The blonde is sitting on a large beach-like wooden chair, her legs tucked into her chest, coffee mug in hand. She's grabbed a black snapback between her room and the porch which she wears backwards atop messy hair. She's staring out into a a large green hilly area with a small creek running through it. Trees are down and branches are sprawled across the creek. It's a beautiful mess.

“Sleeping beauty,” Ashlyn sits up with a laugh, her smile growing as she reaches towards the table next to her to grab a mug. She extends the steaming coffee cup towards you and nods to the empty seat beside her.

“How did you know I was coming down?”

“I hoped you would,” she shrugs with a cheeky grin. As sweet as the moment should feel, Ashlyn's sure to keep the teasing alive in her voice. You take the coffee and sit the chair beside her. She looks back out at the creek and you find yourself studying her. She's always been a nature girl—more comfortable on the sand, on a wave, on a pitch than in her own home. You don't think you've seen her look this peaceful in awhile.

“What, you didn't see enough of me last night?” The blonde smirks without averting her gaze from the creek.

“I couldn't see anything,” you remind her, ignoring the way your cheeks burn. She rolls her eyes lightly and takes a sip of her coffee. She turns to look at you and for a second your stomach flips.

“Isn't it kind of beautiful?” She nods towards all the destruction. “I mean, there's so much destruction but, think about it. In no time at all it's going to look like this never happened. It just rebuilds itself.” As the words roll off Ashlyn's lips, your reminded of a side of blonde you'd altogether forgotten about over the past few weeks. Amidst the overt flirting and exponential sexual tension, you'd forgotten about the blonde's real personality altogether. You follow her gaze out to the debris. You sip on your coffee, smiling when it hits your lips. “I hope trees didn't fall on anyone's cars,” Ashlyn says and you turn towards her to nod when your eyes latch onto her neck.

“Shit,” your abs tighten as you bury your face in your free hand.

“What?” Ashlyn sits up, leaning towards you with a startled expression.

“Your neck. Fuck.” Right there, in plain sight, is evidence of what you've been more than happily ignoring. Ashlyn brings her thumb to her neck with a chuckle.

“Is it bad?” You nod without looking up. “I don't blame you. I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off me either.” When you shoot her daggers.

“From what I remember your hands were plenty busy,” you quickly shoot back. Ashlyn laughs and throughs her hands up.

“I'm kidding, Al. Don't worry, I'll tell them it was Joelle.” Your chest relaxes.

“Thank you.” Ashlyn only lets the conversation settle for a second before a smirk lands on her lips.

“ _From what I remember,_ ” she mocks as she bites her lip, _“_ you weren't complaining.” You sip your coffee, suddenly aware of every inch of your body. “I've been wondering how long it would take you to give in.”

“Yeah, well,” you shrug. “Now it's out of my system.” As soon as the words leave your lips, you see Ashlyn's lip twitch before she quickly recovers. She's about to open her mouth when the glass door slides open.

“What time is it?” A half sleeping Tobin asks.

“Almost six now,” Ashlyn checks her watch.

“You guys are crazy.” Christen's arms wrap around Tobin's waste and immediately Tobin softens.

“Look at the sun,” Christen's soft voice breaks through.

“There's coffee in the pot,” Ashlyn points inside. “Help yourselves.” Christen quickly offers to grab it for her and Tobin while the brunette takes the longer lounge chair next to you. “How'd the couch treat you.”

“Good,” Tobin cracks her neck. “The thunder, not so good.” You both laugh as Christen walks out with two mugs, handing one to Tobin before sliding between her legs. The girls ask how you slept and where the other girls are and if you think the roads are flooded. The conversation is minimal as you all watch the sun continue to rise.

“You know what I really want right now?” You mumble as you finish your last drop of coffee. “Those Pillsbury cinnamon buns we used to bake after Sunday soccer,” you laugh towards Ashlyn at the memory. “You know, with that icing drizzle? Ugh. It would be perfect right now.”

“Dude,” Tobin sits up. “I love those.”

“You think Walmart is open?”

“24 hours,” Ashlyn laughs.

“I'm going,” you stand up. “We need them.” You make it halfway out of your chair, Tobin cheering you on, before you realize you don't have a car here. As if on queue, Ashlyn rises to her feet.

“I'll drive,” she rolls her eyes and you practically jump as the taste hits your lips. Tobin and Christen laugh, thanking you in advance for their breakfast. “Let me grab some shorts,” Ashlyn stops in the laundry room, throwing you a sweatshirt when you complain about your lack of bra. When you realize your shoes are still damp, Ashlyn grabs you flip flops before leading you out the door. There's a tree down only three houses down.

“Damn,” Ashlyn mumbles. “She's seventy-three. I'm gonna have to swing by there later.” Ashlyn doesn't wait for your reaction, she just walks towards her jeep. She was speaking aloud only as a mental note for herself.

“You're so cute,” you laugh as you settle into the drivers seat. She eyes you before pulling out, waiting for you to finish. “You act all tough and badass but in reality you're just a soft teddy bear trying to help your local elders,” you tease. She rolls her eyes.

“Please, you can be a badass _and_ help the elderly.” You laugh as you settle into the silence.

“Thanks for driving.”

“Can't deny Kriegs of her cinnamon buns.” The silence that falls over you is more comfortable than you expected. What you didn't expect was how badly it hurts to be this close to the blonde. Enclosed in the car, only a small console separating you, you want to reach out and touch her. You know it's dumb, but part of you imagined that waking up you would somehow be _relieved_ off your attraction. You didn't entertain the thought that it would only make it stronger.

“I'm so happy for Tobs,” Ashlyn says after a long silence. “She's so smitten.”

“It's adorable,” you agree as you look out at the road. The roads are empty except for a large truck behind you collecting branches and a sedan in front of you. It's peaceful in a post-apocalyptic way. “I don't think I've ever been that smitten,” you find yourself admitting in the silence.

“Even with Kelsey?” Ashlyn asks and you smile when she remembers your first girlfriend's name. Even though you were miles apart, Ashlyn always seemed to keep tabs on you in some way.

“I think I was too confused to be totally smitten,” you admit honestly. “In the beginning at least.”

“And Tara?” She asks, her eyes flickering towards you as she tries to focus on the road.

“Well, yeah,” you admit, the name suddenly sitting uncomfortably in the back of your throat. “I was definitely a bit smitten. Just don't think I've ever looked as heart-eyed as Tobs or Christen.”

“Was?”

“Huh?” You turn towards Ashlyn not realizing your mistake. She stops at the red light and turns towards you.

“You said was. I _was_ smitten,” she repeats your words and you turn to avoid her gaze.

“It's green,” you finally say but Ashlyn takes her time hitting the gas. Ashlyn doesn't press you further. You're both silent until she pulls into the plaza to park.

“It's still pretty nasty out here,” she says as the wind slams your door shut.

“Is it supposed to start up again later?”

“I hope so,” she smirks as her shoulder connects with yours.

“Keep dreaming,” you roll your eyes, suddenly grateful that even after last night you're both able to keep things light.

“I will,” Ashlyn licks her lips. “At least admit you enjoyed it.” You know the blonde knows the answer. She just wants to hear it. She needs to hear it.

“You're relentless,” you pull the door open and she grabs the handle from you, insisting you walk in first.

“Well?” She gives you a dopey grin before you head towards the refrigerated sections. She catches up with you, her shoulder brushing against yours.

“I can safely say you've cracked the top...three,” you decide, your teasing evident.

“Top three?! Does the threesome count as one or two?”

“Ugh!” Ashlyn laughs as you pretend to focus on the grocery aisles. You turn towards her. “I knew you weren't gonna let that go.” She just smiles and you know you need to give her something to satisfy her endless questions. “ _They_ didn't even make top three so it doesn't matter.”

“Really?” Ashlyn asks seriously. “Were they a couple? Selfish?”

“I wasn't that into it,” you shrug, not particularly wanting to relive the night. “I was confused. It was an easy way to figure myself out. Everyone still thought I was straight and I was supposed to be with this guy. As soon as he mentioned a threesome I though it was the only way I'd be able to try being with a girl at the time. She wouldn't even let me touch her,” you roll your eyes at the memory. “She just wanted to kiss to turn him on and then check it off her bucket list.”

“Damn, she missed out.”

“Yeah,” you shrug as you come across the Pillsbury section.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better,” she leans into whisper and the softness of her voice is almost too much. “I chickened out of one my sophomore year. So at least you had the balls to try.”

“No way,” you turn to her, laughing only when you see her smiling.

“Yup. I know, big ole tough, badass me,” she teases. You playfully lean into her shoulder as you both laugh when a voice stops your playfulness.

“Ali?”

No.

“Tara?” You ask as your eyes fall over the blonde. She's in perfectly tight leggings and a loose, cutoff tank. Her hair is in a messy bun that looks anything but messy. She smiles immediately, walking towards you for a hug. Your stomach drops. “What're you doing here?” You mumble as you try to relax into her.

“My Mom got stormed in last night. She _needed_ her vitamins,” she rolls her eyes as she holds up three different supplements. You and Ashlyn both laugh and Tara turns towards her, surprising both of you when she offers her a hug. The two of them hugging sends a knot through your core. You know Tara agreed you were both free to do whatever you wanted but, somehow, _Ashlyn_ doesn't seem like one of them.

“Hey, Ashlyn,” she smiles and Ashlyn quickly returns the gesture.

“Good to see you again,” the taller blonde smiles.

“What're you guys doing here?” Tara finally asks. Her voice is steady and, even though Ashlyn can't pick up on it, you know there's more to the question. Ever since she asked about your history with your friend, you knew the thought was planted in her head.

“We got stormed into Ash's place,” you quickly smile. “Me, Pinoe, HAO, Tobs, Christen,” you list off the names as if the more people you mention somehow lessens the chances of her thinking you slept with Ashlyn.

“Kriegs over here decided she _needed_ cinnamon buns,” Ashlyn rolls her eyes and Tara laughs. “You're welcome to come over and join us,” Ashlyn finds herself offering and, for the first time in years, you think you may throw up.

“Vitamin duty,” Tara reminds you both as she holds up the bottles. “Better get back to her.” She turns towards you. “Text me, yeah? Would love to see you soon.” You quickly nod and she leans in to leave a lingering kiss on your cheek. “Bye, Ash,” she smiles before walking out.

 

You turn back to the aisle in silence, eyes vacantly racking the rows. Ashlyn leans across from you and picks up your favorite kind sitting right in front of you eyes.

“Are these good?” She asks in a soft voice even though she knows she's grabbed the correct one. When you offer her a nod, her hand falls to your lower back. “You okay?” You only manage a nod, grabbing the cylinder from her hand.

“Do we need anything else?” You ask and Ashlyn shakes her head.

You're both quiet until you make it into her car, plastic bag in hand. You buckle your seatbelt and quickly realize Ashlyn's eyes are on you. She hasn't started the car or buckled her own belt.

“What're you doing?” You ask gently.

“Talk to me.” Her shoulder leans against her window so she's facing you. You keep your eyes looking forward. You feel your chest getting smaller the longer her gaze sets on you. She reaches across the console to tuck your hair behind your left ear, revealing your profile to her. You don't know if it's her soft stare or the way the box of a car suddenly feels like a private world, but you start talking.

“I'm so confused,” you admit. Ashlyn doesn't press and you remember why you've always considered her such a good listener. “Am I supposed to feel this shitty?” She waits a moment before answering, making sure the question wasn't rhetorical.

“Al, are you and Tara... were you...”

“Oh,” you quickly realize you haven't _really_ filled the blonde in. “No. I mean. I'm so attracted to her and we have fun together but she felt more into it and I pulled back but, she seemed okay with it. She said we can both do our own thing and, in the meantime, hang out while we're still having fun. But she also made it clear that she does really like me and I shouldn't have—I don't know. It just feels wrong. I've never been in this sort of situation before.”

“I'm sorry,” Ashlyn quickly drops her head. “I shouldn't have pushed you like that. I didn't know you were so conflicted I just...got a bit ahead of myself.” You laugh and Ashlyn quickly looks up with a furrowed brow.

“You have _nothing_ to be sorry for.” Her eyes soften. “I would have—” You stop yourself, not wanting to say too much. “I had a choice. It was my choice.”

“Do you think you could be with Tara?”

“Maybe,” you mumble.

“Then I can step back. For real this time.” Her words almost slap you. Step back? What was she planning on doing next? Wasn't last night a sort of conquest for her? A long sought after hook up? Your back straightens as you turn towards her.

“But I—” you quickly stammer, your gut wishing she'd take her words back. “I pulled the reins. I wasn't feeling what she was and I—” Ashlyn cuts you off.

“Do you want my honest opinion?” You nod. “You said it yourself earlier. You _were_ smitten. I know it wasn't intentional—but in your mind, it's over. On some level, at least. And when she called your name in there, you shut down instantly. That doesn't mean you can't still hang out or give it a try if you want, but I think you know the answer already. And stop feeling guilty.” She finally puts the car keys in the ignition, not quite turning them. “You had an open talk with her. You have no reason to feel guilty.”

She waits for your words and, when you stay silent, she finally starts the car, pulling out of the parking spot.

“Thank you. Sometimes I forget how good you are at calming me down.”

“I'm still your same old friend,” she smiles and you picture a younger Ashlyn laughing with you on the fields after practice.

“Clearly you've been distracting from that a bit since I've returned.” Ashlyn laughs as she turns onto the street.

“Touché, squirt. To be fair, _you've_ been the one distracting me.” You roll your eyes.

“Do you always have to be so damn smooth?”

“Just speaking from the heart,” she feigns an elderly voice. “Plus, I think it's safe to say you've seen me _far_ from smooth.” You smirk, thinking of the blonde in her closet only moments before losing power. She was a puddle at your feet.

You're almost stunned at how easily she mentions the night before. While your heart is pounding and your palms are sweaty, she seems relaxed. She pulls into her driveway and you quickly grab her hand when she reaches for her handle.

“Can we... not...” she just laughs.

“I won't say anything.”

 

“Finally!” Tobin screams as Pinoe shoves her aside.

“Let's get baking!”

“Good morning to you, too,” Ashlyn rolls her eyes.

“Thanks for picking this up,” Christen laughs lightly and you smile at her. You want to get closer with her, you think.

 

It takes twenty minutes before the entire house is filled with the delicious smell. HAO, curled on the couch with Whit, is practically moaning when you open the oven. She stands on her feet, not wanting to miss out.

 

You all sit around the table, cinnamon rolls and glasses of milk in front of all of you.

“Great call, Al,” Pinoe hums into her cinnamon roll. Whit's in the middle of telling the girls how you used to make these every week as a terrible “post game fuel” when HAO interrupts.

“Damn, Ash. Joelle got you _good_.” Your heart skips a beat and you pray no one catches the way you tense.

“God damn,” Pinoe laughs. “Guess she wasn't _that_ bad in bed.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ashlyn rolls her eyes. “Why don't you ask her out tomorrow and find out for yourself.”

“Please,” Pinoe laughs. “Once you turn her down for good she'll make a beeline for Kriegs.”

“I can nod her in your direction,” you laugh.

“Please, you know she's hot.”

“Duh,” you agree. “But we can't _all_ sleep with her.” The group laughs before the conversation turns briefly towards work.

 

You spend the next three hours lounging around before Christen and Tobin decide it's time to head out. Pinoe shortly after agrees, HAO leaving with her ride. You gather your clothes from the laundry room and head up to Ashlyn's room to grab your stuff. You slide into your clean and thankfully dry pants before latching your bra and tugging your shirt over. Ashlyn opens the door just as you begin grabbing your wallet. Her eyes immediately fall to your legs, stunned at how they look in tight pants. When you turn to her, her eyes jump up to yours. You give her a coy look.

“Need a ride?” She asks, though it feels more like a reminder. Right. You don't have a car here.

“Yeah, that would be great. Sorry,” you mumble.

“We're the ones that dragged you out in the middle of a storm,” she laughs. Her eyes are soft, her lips a deep shade of red.

“True.” Ashlyn's hand starts wringing the back of her neck.

“You can stay the night again if you want.” Her voice is soft but strong, much like the blonde herself.

“Not a good idea,” is all you can think to say because, if you don't say no right away, you know exactly where you'll end up. Ashlyn just shrugs, playing it off like you'd just turned down the last cinnamon bun.

“Then I can drive wherever princess needs,” she smiles as she grabs her keys from her dresser.

 

Ashlyn puts on music this time to fill the short ride to your house. You're only three minutes away when she finally brings it up.

“Look, you seem like you don't want to talk about it, but I just have to say it once. Then I can drop it.” She pulls up to a red light and once the car stops she turns towards you, right arm still on the top of the wheel. “Last night. God,” she shakes her head. “You were...” she's speechless and you don't think you've ever seen her struggle to compliment you before. You can't do anything but bite down on your lip in hopes of weakening your grin. “I won't tell anyone,” she promises, her deep hazel eyes lightening in front of you. “I just have never felt—”

The car behind you honks, making you both jump, before Ashlyn realizes the light is green.

“Sorry,” she mumbles and as soon as she steps on the glass you know she won't be completing the thought. She pulls into your neighborhood and stops at your driveway, putting the car in park. “Well, you know where I live,” she smirks and you slap her on the side of the arm.

“You're unbelievable.” You open the door, mumbling a thanks for the ride, before closing the door with a faint smirk. While you walk towards the front door, she rolls down her window to call after you.

“Call me!”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stick with me, ya'll. I promise there will be more plot!  
> thanks for all the love and comments they help me so much.  
> xx <3 <3


	9. On My Mind

_Alexandra Blaire get your butt over here. Now._

 

“Ali?” HAO calls as she lingers in the door of your office. You look up from your phone and offer a polite smile. “Do you have a minute to look over these notes with me?”

“Yeah, sure,” you wave her in. She sits in the chair across from your desk as you quickly type out your response to Kyle.

_Relax. I'll swing by after work._

You mentally roll your eyes. You decided on Sunday night _not_ to tell Kyle about what happened between you and Ashlyn but by 9:47 Monday morning you're sending out an SOS text to your brother. When you finally gave into your attraction to Ashlyn, you hoped that it would lessen the tension. By the time your lips crashed, you knew the opposite to be true.

You spent all of last night in your own bed—alone—repeating the following cycle: Ignore the thought of Ashlyn Harris. Panic at the thought of sleeping with Ashlyn Harris. Basking in the thought of sleeping with Ashlyn Harris. Panic at the thought of never sleeping with Ashlyn Harris again.

“You okay?” Heather asks. You look up at her furrowed brow.

“Sorry,” you shake your head. “Just texting my brother.” Even though her eyes linger on you, she slides the folder towards you and moves forward.

“Joelle just sent this over. Figured we should look at it before she gets here.” She lets you look over the paper as she leans back in her chair.

“Hey, ladies.” You don't have to look up to know her voice. Ashlyn, her hair in a low, tight bun is wearing a tight black tee and a pair a dark jeans. She has glasses on—a look you haven't seen yet—and you wish more than anything she'd take them off. It's impossible, you thought, for someone to look so damn good in glasses.

“Hey, Ash,” HAO quickly greets. “Just going over some of Joelle's notes.” The blonde takes a step in and you drop your eyes back to the paper. “Have you seen her since the last meeting?” HAO asks. _The last meeting_. Heather is the only one in your friend group—save for Christen, maybe—who would phrase it that way.

“Nope,” Ashlyn wrings the back of her neck before adjusting the strap of her way-too-fancy leather backpack. “Don't worry, it won't be weird,” she promises with a shrug. HAO just nods with a smile before her phone buzzes.

“Speaking of, looks like she's almost here. I'll see you guys in a few.” Heather heads out to go let Joelle in. You don't look up from the paper until Ashlyn sits in the seat HAO just vacated.

“What's a girl gotta do to get an hello?”

“Hello, Ashlyn,” you roll your eyes with a light laugh. “Sorry, I had to read over this,” you close the paper. “You excited to see Joelle?” You tease.

“More excited to see you,” she says without a pause. Your voice catches in your throat before you even decide to speak. To be safe, you try to change the subject.

“Did you have a good night?”

“It was alright,” she shrugs as she leans back. “A bit lonely. Whit slept at Ry's.”

“I'm sure Joelle would have appreciated a call,” you smirk and Ashlyn laughs lightly.

“I only give out one invite a night,” she teases with a melodic voice, “and mine was graciously rejected.” Your cheeks are burning and your muscles only relax when Pinoe shows up in the doorway, Christen lingering by her side.

“Let's go, ladies, Queen Joelle has arrived!” You laugh lightly as you stand to your feet pass Ashlyn on your way out the door. Christen's busy scrolling through her phone and Pinoe is too busy booking it to Joelle to notice Ashlyn quicken her step to fall in line besides you. Her hand falls to the small of your back, her mouth moves towards your ear. You hate how much her touch affects you.

“I haven't stopped thinking about you,” she whispers earnestly. Her honesty mixed with the smirk on her lips sends your head spinning. You can't manage a response and, even if you could, you're not sure what you'd say. You just walk beside her, pulse quickening, until she finally drops her hand.

Pinoe slides the door open and you're relieved to see HAO and Joelle already in their seats.

“Hey Joelle,” you all greet. Pinoe takes the seat next to her, Christen quickly grabbing the next one, placing you between Ashlyn and Christen. When Ashlyn sits down, she's sure to move her chair close enough to bump knees with you. Not surprisingly, the Joelle's eyes land right on Ashlyn. By the way they're literally undressing the blonde, you don't think she feels the same way about her night with Ashlyn as the blonde does.

“Alright,” HAO clears her throat. “We looked over the notes you sent. I think Ali wanted to kick us off a little bit, yeah?” You nod and quickly stand, grabbing one of the white board markers from the wall behind you. The girls all swivel to face you.

“I took a look at a bunch of the analytics of your site,” you tell Joelle, “and I got a good look at the different segments that are spending the most time on your site. Some are surprising, like the the 'movie/TV lover segment,' but others makes sense.”

You start jotting down the top five categories on one side and top age groups on the other side. You take a look at your notes to make sure you're including everything before you jot down a few more data points. All eyes are on the board except for four. Both Joelle and Ashlyn's eyes start on the board but quickly make their way down your body. You're wearing tight black jeans that cut off into your tan booties with a substantial heel. You know it makes your legs and ass look amazing, but when you're turned towards the board at work that is the _last_ thing on your mind. By the time you turn back around, the woman have gotten ahold of themselves.

You run the women through a short brainstorming session and land on the demographic best suited to target. Once your part is done, you mentally check out. It's not like you, but Ashlyn's words are running through your mind and you don't think you can get to Kyle quick enough. You don't hear Christen spewing out copy or HAO and Pinoe offering ideas, you don't even flinch when Ashlyn starts suggesting different design options. It's not until Christen and Pinoe stand to shake Joelle's hand that you realize the meeting is over.

Once again, Joelle connects her eyes with Ashlyn's.

“I'm having a party this Friday night, would love to see you all there! A lot of my team will be there. It could be cool for you all to meet. I'll send you the details,” she tells HAO and you all promise you'll try to make it, though you're not sure how many of you actually mean it. When the door closes behind her and HAO, Ashlyn sits back down.

“I don't think you did a good enough job of letting her know that was _not gonna happen again_ ,” Pinoe laughs as she mocks Ashlyn's words. The taller blonde rolls her eyes.

“She'll figure it out on her own time,” she just shrugs as she gets her stuff together. She checks her watch and slides her notebook into her bag. “I've gotta get to my next meeting. If any of you are around tomorrow, Whit's boy is playing in a big lacrosse championship and we're gonna head over after she finishes work. Free booze, free food,” she smiles. Ashlyn stands but only turns to leave when she realizes you aren't going to follow her out. Pinoe quickly rushes after her, leaving you and Christen alone as you gather your things.

“You okay?” She asks softly. You're taken aback a bit. You haven't known Christen that long and aren't used to people—even those close to you—picking up on you being off.

“Yeah, I'm good,” you nod half-heartedly. “Why?”

“Just wanted to check. It seemed like you shut down for a bit there.” While you try to digest her words, Christen quickly adds. “I'm about to get some lunch. You want to join me?” You don't know if it's you or Christen who is in need of a shoulder right now, so you say yes in case this is her way of asking you to be there.

“Let me just put this stuff away.”

You meet her at the elevator, deciding on the salad place on the corner.

“How're you liking Florida so far?” You ask.

“I feel lucky,” she admits. “I've met good people and I like my work. Can't complain about the weather,” she laughs. “It's weird being away from family, though. Is your family around here?”

“My brother, luckily,” you say. “Parents both moved up north after they split.”

“Are you close with your brother?”

“Mhm,” you smile. “Going over to see him tonight.”

You walk into the salad place together, both of you knowing your order without looking at the menu. There are about three lunch places near your office that aren't totally awful and you've practically memorized everything about all three menus. You're relieved at how easily the conversation flows between you two. By the time you sit down with your lunches, Christen's asking you about coming out to your parents and you're glad you came to lunch. She's not necessarily looking for advice, more like reassurance.

“I was lucky,” you admit. “Kyle had come out before me and so the basic nerves were gone, you know? I knew they weren't going to shun me or anything. I just didn't want anything to change. How do you think your family will react?” You ask.

“They're so loving. I know they will accept me it's just what you said. I don't want anything to change, you know? I think I always assumed it would be easier with someone by my side. Now, with Tobin,” she blushes at your friend's name. “I feel like I'm ready. It's just all overwhelming.”

“I know,” you smile softly. “But I promise you the weight you will feel once it's out there will be worth it.”

“Yeah,” she grins at the thought. “Thanks, Al.” You smile as you both enjoy your salad in silence. You're taking a sip of your water when she looks back up. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Hm?” You don't know what kind of question would need that preface after you've just talked about coming out to your parents.

“Have you and Ashlyn ever... or have you almost...” she doesn't know what to say next and you're not sure if it's because of the panic in your eyes or the fact that she doesn't want to insinuate something that could be far off. “Dated?” She finishes and you manage a small smile when you see the nerves behind her eyes.

“It's okay,” you offer. “We get that a lot.” She relaxes noticeably and for the first time, you're thinking about saying it out loud. “We never did. I actually came out in college,” you remind her but that doesn't seem to satisfy her.

“And never after that?”

“No,” you lick your lips and add in a light voice, “can I ask why you ask?”

“I didn't mean to assume anything,” she quickly defends with frantic hands. “I just, sometimes she looks at you like...I don't know it's silly,” Christen stops herself but you press her.

“No, it's helpful to hear.” You realize to get any information, you're going to have to give some to get some.

“So you've never thought about it? It definitely looks like Ash has,” she chuckles and your face heats up. You want to tell her, you really do. But you know bringing your friends into this will only further complicate things. Still, you can't keep it all in any longer. Not when you're this confused. Plus, Christen doesn't talk to Ash enough to hint anything to her.

“Honestly, recently I have. And I'll kill you if you ever tell her,” you laugh and Christen joins. “But it would never work. Ashlyn's not—look, she's always been one of my best friends but she's never been a girlfriend girl. She doesn't date seriously and I don't think it would be worth it for our friendship.” Christen takes it in for a moment before she simply shrugs.

“I've never had a girlfriend before either.”

“Yeah, but that's not what I mean,” you try to make sure you haven't offended her. “Ashlyn just doesn't want to settle down.”

“I hear what you're saying, but I think timing is everything. I wasn't ready before—for different reasons,” she laughs. “But I am now. You never know,” she shrugs it off, knowing that she's given more input then you're probably looking for. “We should get back,” she suggests when you remain quiet. You nod, the two of you putting your bowls in the dish bin. As she reaches for the door you grab her wrist, turning her towards you.

“Hey, thanks.”

“Yeah, you too,” she grins.

 

* * *

 

Kyle's waiting on his porch when you pull up and you think that, maybe, he's been waiting for this moment his entire life.

“I knew it!” He shouts before you even close your car door. You roll your eyes and slam your door, your feet dragging to his door. “I told you! I knew this would happen!”

“Come on,” you point inside.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” he laughs, “You just kept me waiting _all_ day. That was cruel, Alex. Simply cruel.”

“Are you making me dinner or what?” You ask before you can see the takeout Thai on the counter. “Ugh, thank you!” You're hungry, but as the thoughts you've been suppressing all day threaten to spill out you can't even bother to open the pad thai container. You collapse on his couch and Kyle quickly pours two glasses of wine, knowing exactly how to calm you. He hands you about three cups worth in one, huge class and you wonder if you really look that horrible. He sits on the couch, his body turned towards you.

“Thanks,” you mumble before he gives you a look that says S _pill, princess._ “Kyle!” You groan, not knowing where to start.

“Al, how about you tell me _how_ this happened?”

“I don't know! Before, when we saw her at the gym and you were commenting on--”

“How you both were fucking each other with your eyes? Yup. K.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you roll your eyes. “She had already tried something with me.”

“What! And you didn't tell me! What did she do?”

“I didn't think it was anything,” you lie only slightly. “She kissed my neck a bit. I freaked out. You know how she is, Ky. She's been teasing me since I was a kid.”

“Flirting,” he corrects and you let out a groan.

“I don't know what it is. But it built up and she kept flirting and then we were dancing—”

“I remember.”

“It all became too much for me. And then the other night, the storm. We all went back to her place and I lost control. I came onto her hard.” Kyle pretends to be grossed out for a moment before he pulls at your shirt for more. “It was the first time I've ever seen her so flustered. Then the power went out,” you recap. “We all hung out, drank a bit. Nothing crazy. Then, when Megan tried to claim a sleeping spot in Ashlyn's bed, Ash told them I'd already claimed it. Obviously, we were alone in her room all night after that. I don't need to spell it out for you.”

“Alex!” He squeals so loud you actually jump and have to check if you spilled on his couch. “Well, what are you guys going to do next?”

“I don't even know, Kyle. It's so confusing. She's flirty but it still feels like some big game.”

“Al, breath,” he stops you with a hand on your knee. “How do _you_ feel. Let's start there.”

“Ugh.” There's no use in rambling with him. You know the truth will come out eventually, why not just start there. “I can't stop thinking about her.” He can't hide his eyes from widening. “I hoped it would all go away after we hooked up. But now I can't even be next to her without wanting more. But it's Ashlyn.”

“What does that mean?”

“You know her. She's not one to settle down and I still can't even tell if she would ever take this seriously.”

“Al, you're like her best friend. You and Whit. You really think she'd go after you for _no_ reason. Would she do that to Whitney?”

“Whit isn't gay.”

“Not the point. What I'm saying is you both have something to lose. It's gotta be on her mind, too.” You sip on your wine while you listen to his words. “She's always loved you. She wouldn't want to hurt you, so it doesn't seem like her to make some big game out of your heart. Why don't you try talking to her. How is she acting after that night?

“She's still flirting,” you admit.

“Do you think you like her?” He finally asks. “Or is it just an attraction.”

“I don't know,” you lie.

“Alex.”

“I don't!” You try. “It's more than an attraction, okay, but I don't know what it means.”

Kyle says something but you don't hear a word of it. Your phone vibrated and the name that's been on your mind all day pops up.

Ashlyn: P _lease come to the game with me tomorrow? Whit will be so happy._

“It's her,” you show Kyle.

“You're going,” he decides. “Whether you're going to admit it or not, you're into her on some level. And you're not going to figure it out until you woman up and talk to her.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi lovers thanks for all the sweet sweet messages/comments. they make my day.
> 
> i promise the next chapter will be a heavy ali/ash chapter for sure! hang tight!
> 
> xx


	10. Out of Nowhere

You decide on a loose, deep red tee to go atop your black Nike Leggings. “Wear red!” Whitney had squealed over the phone. Undoubtedly, Ashlyn had made her call. You know Whitney wants you there, but it’s unlike her to call and ask for anything for herself. You slide on you new white sneakers and head out to your car. Kyle tried hijacking your phone last night after Ashlyn texted you. _Al, you’re going_ was all he said for about thirty minutes. The only way you could get him to stop was to finally agree. You texted back. _For Whit. I’ll be there_.

You’re still not able to identify most of your emotions, but after talking to Kyle, you don’t think that’s your problem. You know you need to stop overthinking. You need to be around Ashlyn to understand what this is, what you want, what she wants. You need to talk to her.

To say you’re exhausted is an understatement. You drank more than you planned at Kyle’s and, because of it, couldn’t drive home. You weren’t that drunk, just sleepy. You had to wake up an hour earlier than normal to drive home, shower, and get dressed for work. When you make it to your friend’s house, you’re expecting to see tons of cars. It’s only Ashlyn’s and you think maybe Whitney hasn’t made it home from work yet. It only takes Ashlyn five seconds to open the door after you knock.

“Oh, no, no, no,” Ashlyn shakes her head as she looks you up and down. Your eyes widen at the blonde's appearance.

“Oh, my God.” Ashlyn os in long black athletic shorts, a red and black lacrosse jersey, a black snapback with a red brim and high white crew socks with red stripes. Her face has black eye paint under her eyes. On her bicep is painted in red with #11 on it and, for a moment, your heart jumps. You're only able to breath again when you realize that must be Ryan’s number. “You look ridiculous,” you laugh.

“No, you look ridiculous.” She grabs you by the wrist to guide you inside before closing her front door behind you. “You can’t show up like this. We’re going to the ‘SHIP!” You giggle at her but quickly realize you have no choice but to oblige. She points to the stool and you sit down while she goes through her eye paint. “Where’s Whit?” You ask as she fiddles with what looks like her makeup bag. “She’s already at the field. Setting up the tailgate and stuff.”

“Are any of the other girl’s making it?”

“Alex and Kelley are hoping too,” she answers as she grabs you a beer. You try to turn it down but she pops off the lid and puts it in front of you. “Whit’s there with Ryan’s sister and a bunch of his buddies. She’s really excited you’re coming,” she smiles at you. Her voice is genuine and you suddenly are happy you’re here. Whitney never asks for anything. Besides that, it’s nice to see this side of Ashlyn. The playful, incredibly passionate best friend that knows how to lighten your mood.

“Is this going to make me breakout?” You lean back as she steps forward with the eyeblack.

“Relax, princess,” she rolls here eyes. “I’m sure you have some magical complexion barrier anyway. You’ll be fine.” She uses her hand to tilt your chin up towards her as she runs her painted thumb under your right eye and then, after looking at her work, the left. She seems unaware of what her touch does is doing to you, her eyes focused on making sure she left even lines. “Voilá!” She steps back as you grab your phone to pull up the front-facing camera.

“You’re too good at this,” you laugh when you see how even the lines are.

“I think you’re forgetting who the manhunt queen was.” You laugh at the mention of your old favorite neighborhood game. Ashlyn took the game way too seriously but, if you’re being honest, that was always the appeal. You take a sip of your beer once your laugh settles. When you look up, the blonde is approaching you again with red on her thumb. “Woah, woah. What’re you doing?”

“That’s not enough,” she points to your eyes. “I won’t go crazy,” she rolls her eyes when she sees your eyes widen. You sit back deciding the night will be easier if you just accept your fate. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that she has to use her free hand to steady your chin. She draws a red line just under each black line, both perfectly straight. She washes her hands while you look at yourself in the camera. When she comes back over, her hands hover right at the hem of your shirt sleeves.

“May I?” She asks and you give her a small nod. She rolls each short sleeve up until you’re practically in a tank. “You have great arms,” she compliments seriously as she straightens out the shoulders of your shirt. She reaches for a red paint stick and starts to write RYAN down your arm.

“Thanks,” you smile, mentally congratulating yourself for not blushing. “You’re not doing too bad, either,” you joke. Ashlyn’s arms are better than ‘great.’ They’re filled out and solid and the intricate tattoos only amplify their perfection. Without realizing it, you fingers are on her left bicep gently tracing the hair of a beautiful women. “Your sleeve is beautiful,” you mumble as you quickly pull your hand away. “I don’t know if I’ve told you that yet. It really looks great.”

“Thanks,” she smiles. You want to ask her what each one represents but you know it’s not the right time or place. Ashlyn doesn’t seem to feel the same way. “I love this one,” she points to your forearm and, without mentioning it directly, alludes to your other two tattoos. You’re not sure if she was able to make it out in the dark that night, but you know it’s only a matter of time before she comments on it. “I never expected you to get tatted,” she smiles. “You were always a bit shy and…goodie goodie,” she teases. You slap her on the arm.

“I was not!”

“Okay, maybe not,” she laughs. “Just compared to me.” You join her laughter. “What does that mean? Liebe?” She tries to pronounce it but fails.

“Liebe,” you repeat correctly. “It’s love in German.”

“You really loved it there?”

“Honestly, I'm dying to get back,” you admit. You spent your junior spring and summer in the country, studying and playing soccer. “I almost went there again instead of coming home. I couldn’t take the leap but I thought about going there to play."

“Really? What held you back?" Her eyes are soft as she takes a step back from you. It's as if she needs to see your entire being to understand.

"I can't really put a finger on it. Sometimes I think I felt like too much of my identity relied on soccer. I love it and I'm not done playing for good, but I think I wanted to focus on Ali Krieger the person, not the player." She watches you struggle to get the words out and, after you both settle in the silence, she smiles. "Well for what it's worth, I'm glad you didn't go." You grin and she lifts her snapback off to tussle her hair before placing it back on her head. “You know I've always been Ali Krieger the player's number one fan,” she smiles and it's true. Before you believed in yourself, Ash was behind you in net boosting your confidence. “But she doesn't come close to Ali Krieger the person.”

She gives you a dopey, sincere smile before turning and opening the fridge. You think, for a moment, you see her cheeks redden but she's facing away before you can fully notice.

“Thanks, Ash,” you manage. She decides not to respond as she pulls out a few different juices for mixed drinks.

“You almost ready to get going?” She lifts your near empty beer. You take one last, long swig before placing the empty bottle down. She chuckles and tosses the bottle in the recycling bin.

“You're so confusing,” you blurt out and you wish you could blame it on the beer but you've only had one and it's barely hit you. She smirks and quirks and eyebrow.

“You keep saying things like that,” she smiles. “It's just me, Al,” she tries to remind you. “You know me better than anyone else.”

“Except Whit,” you tease and she laughs.

“Except Whit. Speak of the devil, we better get to her. I promised I'd bring her the juices.”

It's just Ashlyn. She's right. It doesn't need to be this complicated to hang out with your oldest friend. It's just Ashlyn.

You hop in her jeep and she tosses the juices in the trunk.

“So Ryan's pretty good then?” You ask.

“He's awesome,” she says as she backs out. “You'll love the game. Men's lacrosse is much more fun to watch. They can actually hit each other.”

You spend the thirty minute drive playing Ashlyn's “throwback” playlist rapping along to your high schoo favorites and singing to pop songs from the boyband era. Britney's “Slave 4 U” comes on and you think Ashlyn might lose it. You both laugh when her face lights up.

“This has always been my guilty pleasure,” she admits meekly, but she doesn't need to tell you.

“I remember,” you laugh, your stomach in stitches. “You watched this video non-stop.”

“Girl can dance.”

You continue laughing until Ashlyn begins panting along with Britney.

“Get it, get it. Get it, get it, ooooh,” she feigns a moan. The sound runs through your body and right as you recover, she's onto the next one. You try to ignore it by dancing along but the sound only brings you back to her bed. Your hands running down her core.

Ugh. You're fucked.

 

* * *

 

You make it to the tailgate an hour before...kick off? You're not sure what to call it. You've been to plenty of lacrosse games before and, though you can follow the rules, you're not exactly sure what the terms are. As you approach the tailgate right outside the stadium, you're suddenly glad Ashlyn insisted on adding the paint to your face. Everyone's got at least eye-black on, some people with their entire stomachs painted for their favorite players.

“See?” Ashlyn laughs. “I could have been worse.” You walk up laughing to a giddy and partially tipsy Whitney. She wraps her arms around your neck right away.

“Thank you so much for coming, Al. It means so much.” She thanks Ash for the juices with a quick hug before leading you over to her table. Alex and Kelley are already there. They didn't come as prepared as you so they're applying eyeblack to each other.

“Hey gals,” Kelley grins. They're two preoccupied to hug you and instead you start making a drink for you and Ashlyn. You also grab one of the soft pretzel nuggets, thankful that your friend brought so many snacks.

“Guys, this is Anna,” Whit points to Ryan's sister. The small brunette girl smiles as you all shake hands. “We're about to play team dizzy bat relay. Pair up and meet over there in five!” She disappears to set up and the four of you are left with alcohol.

“I can't play that sober,” Alex laughs as she pours four huge shots.

“I'm driving,” Ashlyn tries to say but Alex quickly reminds here she has about four hours before that time comes. Ashlyn gives in, taking the shot with the four of you. When Alex wraps her arm around Ashlyn, you're suddenly reminded of how touchy a drunk Alex becomes. You're relieved when you remember that she doesn't _only_ limit that to Ashlyn. Besides, you quickly remind yourself, Ashlyn isn't yours.

“Well I'm ready to _play,_ ” Kelley announces as she takes another swig straight from the bottle. Ashlyn shoots Alex a look and the taller brunette laughs lightly.

“She just ended things with her girl. She's a bit of a mess.”

“I am not!” Kelley defends before she shrugs. “Okay, maybe I am. I don't know what I want, but I don't think it's her.”

“Drink up,” Ashlyn laughs as she pats the girl on her back.

“Thank you for being so supportive,” Kelly says to Ashlyn while directing a glare at her roommate. You all notice Whitney organizing a group of people and decide to rush over to her. She explains the rules. Your partner (Ashlyn) will spin in circles, nose to the bat, ten times. Then, you are going to hop on her back while she runs to the other end line. When you make it there, you're going to do the same, the blonde hopping on your back as you sprint to the finish line.

“Want me to go first?” Ashlyn offers as she lines up. You nod. “Better not mess up this sweet art,” she grins as she points to her #11.

“I would never,” you pretend to be offended. “That's my number.”

“I know,” she says with a crooked grin. Before you have time to swoon, the blonde gets down to business. “Okay, when I'm on number nine, get ready to pounce. Don't worry about hurting me. And if we fall, use me as your cushion,” she pats her toned stomach.

“Not sure if that'll break the fall,” you smirk before the realization that you just complimented her abs hits you. At this point, you're not sure you care. Some guy in the middle of the field blows his whistle and Ashlyn takes off. Even doing something dumb like this, she looks incredible athletic. Her biceps are bulging and the muscle in her legs ripple with every movement.

“7...8...9...” she calls out when she gets close. You let her steady herself for a moment before you pounce on her back. She attempts to ground her feet as she stumbles side to side. It only takes her a moment to get her feet back on the ground. Once she's seeing straight, she grips nearly all of your thighs with her strong hands and starts towards the other line.

“Hold tight!” She shouts. “Holy shit,” she starts laughing when it's clear she can't run straight. She slows her pace to a fast walk to ensure you don't tumble but, as a team of two large guys to your right loses their balance, they crash right into you. As you begin tipping, Ashlyn feels you letting go and turns her body towards you to break your fall. You crash onto the blonde, a loud _oomf_ falling from your lips. Your core crashes onto hers as her hands grip your hips. Your arms strong enough to hold yourself off the ground, avoiding the collision of your faces. Ashlyn slowly opens her eyes and your body altogether freezes. Her light, hazel orbs have never been softer and, besides for the other night, closer. You're eyes stay locked as her flicker around your face. You're frozen.

“Shit, we're so sorry. You guys okay?” A husky voice comes from beside you, breaking you from the world you've created on this small patch of grass.

“Uh,” you push yourself off of Ashlyn as her hands help guide your sides. “Yeah, Ash, you okay?”

“I'm good,” she quickly pops up. “No worries!” She turns to them with a small grin before she spins around a shouts after you. “Hop back on!” Your feet stammer for only a second before you're reminded of the competition when Kelley and Alex sprint past you, the smaller woman slapping your ass as they run bye.

“Catch us if you caaaaaaan!” Kelley yells out.

“Go!” You shout as you hop on Ashlyn's back. The fall seriously grounded her and her strong frame has you back in the top three in no time. She squats effortlessly to place your feet on the ground and you sprint to pick up the bat. You hear Alex commenting on your speed as you finish your fifth spin. You finish all ten quicker than anyone else with ease. You've always had quick feet and, more than that, you're smart. You cut the distance in half by staying close to the bat and you scream at Ashlyn to hop on your back as soon as you're steady. She jumps on and you're instantly aware of her body. Luckily, competition takes over your body and you start sprinting. You only need three or four steps to stumble. Then you're easily at a jog. Ashlyn begins chanting “yee-haw” and waving her arm in the air like she's swinging a lasso. “Go, gurl, gooooo!” She screams as you pass the only other team of two men. You sprint clear over the line and the whistle blows.

“Hell yeah!” Ashlyn screams as you drop her, your breath slightly choppy. You let out a happy squeal. As soon as Ashlyn's feet hit the ground, she's running at you from the front. She jumps onto your hips, her arms wrapping around your neck as if you've just score a game winning goal. You break out into a fit of laughter as Ashlyn reverts into her fifteen year old self. It's not until Alex and Kelley come up behind you to playfully shove you that Ashlyn hops off. She holds her hand up for one last high five, her hand clasping around yours. For a moment, you think she might continue holding your hand but she drops it as soon as the thought breaks into your mind.

“What the heck, do you two practice that game?” Kelley laughs when Ashlyn finally calms herself.

“We're not giving away our secrets,” Ashlyn smirks as Whitney runs over to you two.

“You guys were _too_ good at that game,” she laughs.

“That's what we were saying!” Alex agrees.

“Look, ladies. No need to be jealous,” Ashlyn throws her hands up and you just laugh as the blonde wraps her arm around you.

“I need another drink,” Kelley shakes her head.

You follow your friends over to Whitney's table as a few of Ryan's friends compliment your win as they introduce themselves. No matter how used to being gay you are, you don't quite think you'll ever be used to dealing with men flirting with you. Ashlyn diverts the men with no problem, grabbing you by the waist to lead you towards Whitney's table. She quickly makes you a drink as you all grab a few snacks.

“How you holding up?” You ask Kelley when she comes up beside you.

“It was the right thing,” she admits to you. “I wasn't as ready to settle down with her as she was with me.” She takes a big sip, clearly feeling a bit guilty. “Hey, how'd it end up with the girl you were seeing?” Even though Ashlyn's talking with Alex, you can see her ears perk up at the mention of Tara.

“Same deal,” you admit. “I just don't think it was right with her right now.”

“God, it sucks though, right? Like I know I'm not in it so I have to pass it up, but she's great.”

“I'm sure you'll find someone better for you,” you try and Kelley just nods, stuffing the pretzels in her face.

“Game time!” Whitney finally calls out. You help your friends clean up the table a bit as you head into the stadium. The bleachers are pretty packed and you end up towards the end of the bleachers in between Ashlyn and Kelley. Alex sits in front of you with Whitney and Ryan's sister. Ryan's buddies and some of his family are scattered around you.

“He looks so cute!” Alex cheers when Ryan runs out on the field.

“I'm sure that's what he wants to hear,” Ashlyn rolls her eyes. You start to giggle as you take a sip from your cup. You see that Ashlyn's is almost empty and you offer to pour some for her. “Only a little,” she agrees. “Gonna have to drive soon.” She sees your hesitance and quickly adds, “Don't you fret,” she laughs. “Drink up. Your chariot awaits,” she feigns a British accent. “And you can always crash with Whit and I if you're not up to drive home.” As her tongue peeks out through her lips, your eyes drop to them. Ashlyn seems to notice, her eyes following your lead.

“Al, pass the liquor,” Kelley mumbles and you slowly pull your eyes from Ashlyn. You hand her the bottle. Without asking, she tops off your cup.

“Easy there, tiger,” you laugh. Kelley just takes a sip with a grin.

Ryan is absolutely killing it. His team is up by three and you don't think you've ever seen Whitney so proud.

“She's so cute,” Ashlyn leans into you to say.

“Seriously, how do I get a girlfriend like you?” You laugh at Whit.

“Me, too,” Kelley agrees.

“Sorry, ladies. Taken.”

“And straight,” Ashlyn reminds everyone with a fake eye roll. “The worst.” Whitney slaps her arm. The whistle blows for halftime and you realize you've finished your cup. It's not until you stand up that liquor hits you, your head suddenly light. Ashlyn steadies you by the waist.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” you breath, her body too close to yours. “Just have to go to the bathroom.”

“Let me walk you,” she offers. “Do you guys need anything?” Ashlyn suggests.

“Hot dog!” Kelley and Alex both yell at the same time.

“Got it,” the blonde yells as she escorts you down the bleachers. Even when you make it down the stairs and you're walking without problem, Ashlyn's hand is firm on your waist.

“I'm okay now,” you smirk up at her and, like the other night, the blonde's shyness reemerging. She ducks her head as her cheeks begin to burn. It's intoxicating, seeing Ashlyn lose her staple confidence because of you.

“Sorry,” she mumbles after she drops her hand.

“I don't mind,” you smile, you tongue running across your lips.

“You keep telling me _I'm_ the confusing one,” Ashlyn mumbles softly.

“You are,” you simply shrug. With the alcohol now comfortably in your system, you're not flustered talking to the blonde.

“How?” The blonde is looking at you now, curiosity in her eyes. Her lips are a soft light pink and you have to tear your eyes away in order to think straight.

“You come onto me out of nowhere,” you remind her. “And then you keep flirting as if we haven't been best friends practically all of our lives.” Ashlyn's eyes widen for a second.

“Out of nowhere?” She shakes her head with a light laugh.

“What?”

“Nothing.” You grab her arm and beg, “What?” again but the blonde just shakes you off. “I'll grab the hot dogs and wait for you outside the bathroom,” she tells you as she stops outside of the building's sign. You nod, trying to understand what the blonde meant.

When you return, the blonde is outside leaning against the wall. She smiles and hands you your own hot dog.

“Figured you'd be hungry.”

“Thanks,” you smile. You follow the blonde back towards the bleachers, your eyes drifting towards her. Her jawline is sharper than you've ever noticed. “Can I ask you something?” You finally say when you're halfway back to the field. She nods. “Have you told Whit?”

“About?” When she sees your eyes narrow she playfully nudges her shoulder against you. “Relax, squirt, I'm kidding.”

“I'm not that much smaller than you anymore,” you roll your eyes.

“You'll always be squirt to me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you roll your eyes. “Did you tell her?”

“No.” Your eyes narrow, unsure of what that really means in Ashlyn's world.

“Can I ask why?”

“You can.” The blonde offers you a way too satisfied smile.

“ _Okay_. Why?”

“You asked me not to.” A warm wave rushes through your body, but the doubt stays in your eyes..

“But she's your best friend.”

“And so are you,” Ashlyn shrugs like it's the simplest thing in the world. She keeps walking towards the bleachers and you grab her forearm to stop her. She turns towards you, light hitting her eyes. “Al, I'm not going to break my promise.”

“Thank you,” is all you can think to mumble because, when it comes down to it, you don't want to say anything at all. You want to kiss her. But when the whistle blows, you're reminded of exactly where you are.

 

* * *

 

Whitney, you realize, isn't coming home with you. Ryan just won the championship and she's going out with him to celebrate. Ashlyn asks if you'd rather go to the bar but, when you remember what time you have to be at work, it suddenly sounds like a horrible idea. Being the only one who stopped drinking hours ago, Ashlyn agrees to drive Alex and Kelley home. They talk the entire way home about Whitney and Ryan, Christen and Tobin and then complain about their “loveless lives.”

“We're all single,” Ashlyn reminds them when they won't stop complaining.

“Yeah but we're _really_ single,” Kelley adds and you and Ashlyn don't bother asking what that really means. When you drop them off at their place, the energy in the car changes immediately. The silence, though still comfortable, feels more intimate. Your words suddenly feel like they carry more weight.

“Thank you for driving,” you decide on when the silence becomes too much.

“My pleasure,” she smiles. “How're you feeling?”

“Good,” you smile, the alcohol still clouding your mind a bit.

“You're not driving home,” she clarifies. “If you really want, I can drop you at home but I'd have to come grab you in the morning to get your car.”

“I don't want to put you through all that trouble. I can just crash on your couch,” you suggest and the blonde chuckles.

“First of all, Whitney's not home. You could at least take her bed. And if anyone is taking the couch, it's me. Don't be silly.” Your hand lands gently on her forearm, her hand resting on the gearshift.

“I can't kick you out of your own bed. The least I can do is share.” You're too focused on the blonde's lips to notice the nerves behind her eyes. She offers a light laugh, mostly for herself. You spend the rest of the ride in silence, your fingers slowly tracing up and down her forearm. Her muscles contract under your touch every so often but she doesn't look at you until she puts the car in park. She tries to smile but when she sees how hooded your eyes have become she nearly flinches.

“Let's get you upstairs,” she mumbles. You gladly follow her out of the car. Right now, you think you'd follow her anywhere.

You're drunk. But you're not _that_ drunk. Your mind is clear enough. If anything, you're just a bit emboldened. Okay, maybe a lot emboldened. Ashlyn grabs you a glass of water and leads you up to her bathroom.

“Come here,” she mumbles as she leans against her sink. “Let me clean you off.” You'd all but forgotten about the paint under your eyes and on your arm. Ashlyn wets a washcloth with warm water and gently places a hand above your elbow, rubbing the towel against your bicep. She can't seem to look you in your eye and the fact only makes you step closer.

“Thanks,” you mumble.

“You're gonna have to get mine,” she smiles with a much steadier voice, clearly trying to lighten the mood.

“Gladly.” You take the washcloth from her and wring it out in the sink before wetting it again. If you thought you were prepared to touch her arm, you were wrong. Your entire hand doesn't fit around her bicep and you can feel her muscles twitch as she moves her arm for you to get a better reach. When you finish, Ashlyn quickly hands you the face wash as she pulls off her hat and pulls her hair into a messy bun.

“You better wash that off if you don't want to break out, princess,” she grins and you quickly do as you're told. She giggles as you spend more than enough time scrubbing your cheeks. “Easy there, squirt. Don't want to scrub off a layer of skin.” You giggle as Ashlyn hands you a towel. You dry off your face and look up at the blonde. For the first time in days, you're not worrying.

“Can I sleep in your room?” You ask.

“Of course,” she smiles. You quickly close the gap, your hands gripping her hips. “Al,” her breath hits your lips.

“I've been thinking about you, too,” you finally admit, your eyes searching hers. The confession is more than twenty-four hours after the blonde's, but better late than never. Right when you think you see something change in her eyes, Ashlyn closes them. You use your hands to pull her closer. Her sigh hits your lips and you mumble, “kiss me.” When the blonde doesn't react, you lean forward until your nose is brushing hers.

“Alex,” she sighs and your name is all you need to hear. Your lips connect with hers and she immediately hums against you. It only takes five seconds for your kiss to become desperate. Your hands tug at the back of her neck, pulling her lips even closer. With your mouths connected, you start backing her out of the bathroom and into her room. Her breath is choppy and her hands hesitantly ghost on your hips. It's not until her shoulder collides with the doorframe that she breathlessly pulls away. “Al,” she breathes and, when you try to close the gap again she catches you by the waist, holding you at arms distance. “Alex, stop.”

Your body freezes. Stop. She wants you to stop. You step back and she quickly lunges towards you.

“No, that's not what...Al, come here.” She reaches for your hand and you're too stunned to pull it away. “Come here,” she repeats and pulls you towards her. She turns, leading you to the bed. She sits down and nods to the space next to her. When you don't immediately sit she says, “I don't want to do something you don't want to do,” she mumbles, her eyes barely able to meet yours. Your eyes narrow.

“I just—” you point back to the bathroom where you _clearly_ came onto the blonde. She nods to the spot next to her and you finally sit.

“I know. But, I'm dead sober and you...”

“I'm not that drunk.” The daggers you're sending her force her to throw her arms up in surrender.

“I know, of course! I just couldn't take it if...” she stops. “Listen,” she grabs your hands and you're so desperate for her touch you let her. “I've been dying to kiss you all night. Don't think for a second that I don't want to, because that's not what this is.” You can't look at her. You feel ridiculous for throwing yourself at her but her hand on your knee somehow simultaneously calms you.

“Sorry,” you mumble, unable to form any other words.

“Al, I promise that if you come to me sober and say you want me, I'm all yours. I just don't want to screw up our friendship because we're not both in the same mindset.”

You want to fight back. Hell, you try but when you whip your head towards her the blood rushes there, leaving you unbelievably lightheaded and you realize that you are, in fact, drunk. Sure, the alcohol isn't the reason you're dying to touch the unbelievably sexy woman sitting beside you but you suddenly understand the blonde's hesitance.

“Fine,” is all you manage as you rise to your feet. You think about walking towards Whitney's bed but the strong voice stops you.

“Stay with me.”

She's standing on the side of the bed you slept on the other night. She pulls the covers down and you walk towards her. Wordlessly, you tuck in the warm sheets as Ashlyn pulls the covers up to your chest. She looks at you with a faint smile before walking to her side of the bed. She tucks in, flicking the light off beside you. You lay on your back, suddenly aware of all of your limbs. You've never had to think about laying beside her before. You're only able to relax your body when a gentle pair of lips presses against the top of your head.

“Goodnight, Squirt.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise next chapter is more of what you really want...
> 
> thanks for sticking with me loves. xx Let me know your thoughts!!


	11. Krieger Genes

You wake up just before six, the sun barely peaking through the unfamiliar window. It’s Ashlyn’s blonde hair sprawled across her pillow that pulls you into the morning. Your stomach clenches as last night floods into your mind. You sit up carefully as to not wake the woman beside you, trying not to panic until you’re alone in her bathroom. You came onto Ashlyn, your oldest friend, only to be shot down. You wash up as quick as you can, tiptoeing down the stairs before grabbing your keys and gently closing the front door behind you. You actually jog to your car as if last night is chasing after you. You’re not this girl. You’re not a runner. You slow a few feet from your car, climbing in and collapsing onto your wheel.

“Fuck.” You bring yourself to start the car only at the idea of calling Kyle. This was his idea, anyway. “Ali?” He mumbles, sleep still in his throat.

“Sorry,” you preemptively apologize.

“Are you okay? What time is it?” You hear him rolling over and he sighs as soon as he realizes that he, too, should be getting up for work any minute.

“I’m an idiot.”

“What happened? What did you do?” You connect the phone to the car speaker, mostly because you're feeling dramatic and you can’t fully express yourself while driving and holding your phone at the same time. “We had so much fun. I remembered why she's always been my best friend. She was so sweet and we kept flirting. I was drinking a good amount and she made me stay at her house because it wasn’t safe to drive. But when I tried something last night she…” you pause, looking for words that don’t sting. You don’t find them. “Rejected me.” Your brother’s silence is one of surprise.

“Al, I’m so sorry,” is all he can manage. “Where are you?”

“Driving home. I have to shower.” 

"I’m bringing you breakfast. Hold tight.”

This is why you moved home. Somewhere between Kyle’s stolen years and the distance that separated you the past few ones, you’d almost forgotten how good Kyle was for your soul. By the time you make it out of the shower, he's already on your doorstep with a bacon, egg and cheese on an everything bagel and a berry smoothie in case you'd prefer the healthier route. As he suspected, you take both.

“Thank you,” you pull him into a hug that he can’t quite return, smoothies in hand and brown bags tucked in his arms. You have yet to brush your damp hair and are only in a big tee and old soccer shorts. Kyle is dressed for work already, black tank and black jeans. He’s become one of the most sought after hair stylists in the area and beyond and you couldn't be more proud. You lead him inside and sit at the kitchen counter. Kyle decides to lean against it, sipping his green smoothie.

“What's going on?” You start on your sandwich instead, grateful for the the substance that your morning-after stomach is craving. You’re not exactly hungover but you could definitely use some fuel.

“I’ve never felt so confused by a girl not even—“

“Kelsey?” He laughs, almost like he doesn’t believe the sentence. How could Ashlyn be more confusing than the girl who shook up your whole world, the girl who showed you that you weren’t, in fact, straight.

“I don’t know!” You bubble with frustration. Kyle reaches across the counter to give your hand a squeeze and you let yourself relax.

“Al, talk me through it.” So you do. You tell Kyle about the game and about how comfortable Ashlyn makes you yet still manages to flip your stomach upside down with just a look. He smiles at the way your eyes light up as you recount the night. “You kissed her?” His eyes widen slightly. “And she…what did she say?”

“She let me kiss her back. She was fine. A little flustered but she was with me until—” Your face drops and Kyle has to push you to continue. “She stopped me.”

“Did she say anything?”

“She said I was too drunk,” you roll your eyes and ignore the way your chest begins tightening. “She said something like, 'I’m sober and I couldn’t handle it if you…'” you stop, not sure if the blonde ever finished the thought. “I don’t know,” you start again. “She said we weren’t in the same mindset. She tried to tell me she wanted to and if I was sober—”

“Alexandra”! Kyle cuts you with a light slap to the wrist.

“Ow,” you snatch your hand back even though it barely stung. Sibling instinct. “What was that for?”

“Are you kidding me?” He rolls his eyes. “You wake my butt up at 6 AM for this?! Have you really never been rejected before? You don’t even know what it looks like!” Kyle is exasperated but, even though his voice is raised, he’s not angry. If anything, his voice is brimming with excitement. If you could see your face, you might laugh. You’re suddenly ghost pale, your mouth agape but your eyes are more than amused.

“What do you mean?” Is all you can think to ask.

“Al! Ashlyn sounds like she’s practically terrified of messing things up. She’s not trying reject you, she’s trying to be respectful!” When your eyes only narrow, your brother continues, laughter spilling from his lips. “Of course she wants you to come onto her. God, she probably even had to say it to your face to get it through your thick skull.” He actually leans over to knock on the top of your head.

You’re rendered speechless. Kyle’s face softens as he watches your expression change. You wonder if maybe he’s right and, as soon as the thought enters your mind, you start to believe it.

“I thought she was just making excuses,” you whisper, more to yourself than to your brother.

“Think about it, Alex.” Images flood your brain. Ashlyn’s flustered expression, her earnest eyes, her soft and tentative hands.

“Fuck.” You rise to your feet and as you look over your body and frantically check the clock, you realize you’re in no position to leave the house.

“Hey,” Kyle tries to grab your attention. “Did you sneak out this morning?” By the look on your face, he already knows the answer. “Alex,” he sighs as you sit back down on the stool. “It’s alright, Al. Just call her and let her know you’re okay. You just need to talk to her.” You nod, praying the blonde isn’t pissed at you for running out.

“What if we’re wrong? What if she really didn't want to hook up with me?"

“Doubtful,” is all Kyle says with a smirk and when you give him a glare he laughs and says. “Why don’t you just come onto her sober,” he jokes and your eyes light up. Kyle immediately rolls his eyes. “I’m joking, Al. Talk to her.”

“And say what? It’s not like I’m trying to date her,” you admit.

“Then what the hell are you trying to do?” He narrows his gaze. “Just sleep with you best friend for the sake of it? Like that’s not going to complicate anything,” he lets out a harsh, breathy laugh. If you’re being honest, you don’t know what you’re trying to do.

“It’s Ashlyn,” you remind him. “Harris. The same Harris who won't settle down for the literal Queen.” Kyle wants to shake you. You're blocking your own mind from recognizing what's already there.

“She's twenty-four now” he reminds you. “Not sixteen.” When you slump in your seat, Kyle adds, “plus, the Queen does _not_ have Krieger genes.”

 

* * *

 

You don’t check your phone until Kyle leaves for work and you've all but applied your makeup. You finish up and finally look at the screen. You have one missed call from the blonde and two texts:

_Alex are you okay? Call me when you get this. Want to make sure you’re safe. Hope you’re feeling okay._

_Please let me know you’re good._

You quickly type out a somewhat truthful message.

_I’m so sorry!! Couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to wake you. Came home to get ready for work. Thanks for letting me spend the night!_

She answers within seconds.

_You scared the crap out of me!! And anytime. Don’t run out so fast next time._

You drop your phone on your bathroom counter, relieved that you’ve managed some sort of normalcy, even if it is over text, and pull your hair up into a bun. As soon as you're wrapping the tie around your hair, your phone vibrates loudly against the counter, a new text from Ashlyn appearing on the screen.

_Also, maybe a talk is overdue?_

You can’t bring yourself to answer. The blonde is right, but the thought of her talk being different than the talk you’re hoping for has your stomach in knots. She is the one who stopped you last night and now she wants to talk? So you don’t answer. No. You go to work, go to the gym, and come home. Tara calls to catch up and you find yourself lying, saying you’re already in bed (true) with a stomach bug (not true). She insists on bringing you soup and ginger ale and it takes more than twenty minutes to convince her otherwise.You tell her you’re minutes away from falling asleep and she finally relents, disappointment clear in her voice.

 

You make it to Friday without a word from Ashlyn. You don’t, however, make it to Friday without a barrage of thoughts of her. You spend more than an hour getting ready for work—a task you can normally complete in thirty minutes. You won't admit it, but you're not blow drying your hair because you're preparing for a big workday. No. HAO called a meeting that included, yes, Ashlyn Harris. You decide on a tight black pencil skirt an low cut white tank that tucks in, subtle heels completing the look. Your hair swoops around your shoulders and by the time it's 8:35 you're sprinting out the door.

“Woah,” Pinoe smirks as she walks through your office door. You're writing on the whiteboard on your wall as she looks you up and down. “Hot date tonight with Tara?”

“Not really seeing her anymore,” you remind her, your voice finally light.

“Well I hope you make good use of this outfit at happy hour,” she laughs.

“It's just a skirt,” you roll your eyes, knowing all too well how that it's not _just_ a skirt.

“Whatever you say,” Pinoe laughs. “I'm going to grab coffee before the meeting. Want me to grab you one?”

“Ugh, that would be amazing. Thank you!” She nods on her way out with a playful wink.

You finish writing your notes on the board and you take a step back to look over the web you've drawn. HAO had asked you to take a better look at the consumer for Joelle's company and you think you've finally made progress. As you're trying to remember the connection between the yoga lovers, dog owners, and their likeliness to use a subscription based platform, a tentative cough comes from just outside your office. When you look up, the broad-shouldered woman who you've been harboring in your mind for the past few days is standing in the doorway. You stomach flips. She's in fitted black pants, small boots and a gray, short-sleeve button up. Her hair is pulled up in a tight bun, her cheekbones more prominent than normal (if that's even possible). You audibly gulp as she holds up a manilla folder.

“Um, hey,” she breathes as she not-so-subtly checks you out. You're to busy looking at how the fit of her shirt makes her torso look extra strong to notice. Someone walks past her in the hallway and Ashlyn becomes aware of her surroundings. “Heather asked me to bring this to you before the meeting.” She holds out the folder and when it's clear you're not gong to step towards her, she realizes she has to bring it to you. You're still holding your notes and a dry erase marker in your hand so she places the folder on your desk instead. Suddenly unsure of what to do, Ashlyn nods quickly. “I'll see you in the meeting.” She makes her way towards your door and, as much as it stings, you realize that _you_ are the one who ignored her last message. This is on you.

“Wait,” you call after her, not sure what you're going to follow that up with. She turns and you point towards the door. “Can you close that?” She obliges, however hesitant, and turns back towards you. “I'm sorry I left so quickly.”

“It's okay,” she smiles, her body relaxing as soon as you address it head on. You both take a step towards each other at the same time, laughing immediately at how formulated it all feels. “You had me worried, was all.”

“Thank you for...” you can't say it. For being respectful? That slight chance that she _was_ rejecting you keeps you from finishing the thought.

“You look amazing,” Ashlyn blurts out and you can see her feeling like she's said too much. The deep red on her cheeks, the panic behind her eyes, all of it pulls you closer. You take another step until you're only about a foot from the blonde. All it takes is one look at her perfectly soft lips for your voice to drop an octave.

“What if I said I wanted you _now_?” You husk so softly Ashlyn has to strain to hear your words. But she knows that look. Her body tenses. “Or does the 48 Hour Rule apply to this too?” You smirk, referencing the 48 hour policy your teams had always upheld—no alcohol 48 hours before game day, 24 hours before practice. The joke turns Ashlyn's lips into a coy smile.

“I gave you my word,” she smirks, her tongue slowly sliding across her upper lip. Your heart starts pounding and you can't take the distance. Still, something is holding you back from closing the two inches between your lips. Maybe it's lingering doubts or the uncertainty of what the other woman is thinking, but Ashlyn doesn't give you enough time to figure it out. Her lips press against yours and you immediately drop everything in your hands. The kiss—your first kiss without being at least tipsy—has your head spinning. You might as well be intoxicated. Your knees buckle as her tongue glides across your lips, her strong hands quickly stabilizing your waist. Your arms wrap around her neck, pulling her lips further onto hers and eliciting a moan from the blonde. Within seconds, the kiss becomes hasty. Her hands start up and down your back and quickly land on your lower hips. You hear laughter out in the hallway and suddenly remember where you are—your office. You pull away, your eyes latching with hooded hazel orbs. You push her back until her back slams against your door. Your body slams into hers with force, her muscles contracting against you.

“Fuck,” she breathes as her hands slide down your hips until they're on your bare thighs. Goosebumps erupt on your skin at her touch and you can't remember ever feeling so turned on. Electricity runs through you as your tongues connect. With frantic hands against her chest you begin unbuttoning her shirt, your lips focusing on her pulse point. You're halfway down her shirt, Ashlyn's hands firm on your ass, when you stop. You're both panting and when your eyes lock, you realize you're both on the same page.

“Right,” Ashlyn swallows as you step away from the blonde. You both take a moment to catch your breath, the room silent save for panting. Ashlyn's eyes meet yours and she offers you a crooked smile. She's more frazzled than you expected and it dawns on you that you may need to hurry her up. You take a step forward, soft smile on your lips, as you begin re-buttoning her shirt. She tenses at first.

“We've got to get to the meeting. I can't have you slowing me down,” you joke and she laughs. As you button her shirt, you feel her eyes flicker around your face. Her mouth opens like she wants to speak but she quickly closes it. When you reach her top button your eyes meet hers again and a warmth rushes over your body.

“We've got to work on our timing,” Ashlyn teases and you laugh.

“Well maybe we can perfect it later tonight?” You raise raise your eyebrows, the suggestion even surprising yourself. Ashlyn's eyes widen.

“Well if you insist.” You playfully slap her on the arm and she chuckles. “Grab your notes,” she reminds you. As you turn back towards the door she stops you by your hips. “Um,” she reaches out cautiously, her thumb wiping just under your lip removing smudged, red lipstick.

“Thanks,” you blush. She points towards the door.

“After you.”

 

The girls hardly notice you walking in together. It's funny, you think, what the title of “old friends” lets you get away with. The meeting is also stress free, for the most part. No Joelle, no formal presenting. The only distraction in the room happens when Ashlyn's eyes land on you. Even when she's just following along with the conversation, her gaze feels like a heat ray burning through you. But, you manage to finish the meeting without reaching out to touch the blonde—an accomplishment in and of itself.

“Okay, ladies. I know you don't want to hear this, but Joelle is really insistent on this party tonight. If you're _really_ busy, I get it if you can't make it. But it'll be good for our business and I promise I'll buy us a team dinner on the company or something to make up for it.”

You audibly groan and you're grateful that Pinoe has joined you though, undoubtedly for a different reason.

“What are you complaining about?” Ashlyn laughs at Pinoe. “You'd jump at a chance to see Joelle in a nice party dress.”

“True,” Pinoe admits. “Just was planning on heading to Dynasty tonight. It's ladies, night.”

“You can go after,” Heather says apologetically. “We don't have to stay long. Just show up if you can.”

“Alright,” you all agree. Christen's about to open her mouth when HAO smiles.

“Feel free to bring Tobs.” Her face lights up and you can't help but grin along. “I'll text you guys the address. We can meet out front before if you want.”

When you finally leave the meeting, Ashlyn excuses herself from Pinoe.

“Sorry, have to talk to Al about something. I'll see you tonight?”

“Looks like it,” the shorter blonde shrugs. Ashlyn chases after you as you turn into your office.

“Hey,” she grins, her voice light and her smile playful. “Looks like we've got a change of plans.”

“I know,” you roll your eyes.

“Hey, we don't have to cancel our other plans,” she alludes. “Just a quick detour.” You bite down on your bottom lip as the blonde raises her eyebrow suggestively. “I'll take that as a yes?”

“I'd rather keep you guessing,” you try to joke but when the blonde licks her lips, your eyes give you away.

“I'll pick you up at eight then?” She smirks knowingly.

“You're picking me up?” She notes how much the statement takes you aback and she quickly covers.

“Well I figured I'd drop my car off at your place and then we can Uber to the party. It's an open bar, you know,” she smiles suggestively. “We can't have a repeat of earlier this week. I'm _definitely_ not being the designated driver again.” Before you can answer, the blonde gives you a quick wink and disappears through the door.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're moving now, I promise :)
> 
> Let me know what you're thinking ! Blown away by all the comments/messages. Love to hear what you're thinking.  
> xx


	12. It's About Time

 

You slide your heel into the black pumps adding nearly two inches to your stature. You run your freshly manicured hands down your sides, flattening out your dress along the way. Stepping back, you catch your own eyes in the mirror. Your eyeliner has been perfectly drawn, your mascara thick and even. Your red lip does more for you than you expected and you find yourself smiling at your own reflection. Your eyes rake over your skin tight black dress. It's short—shorter than you usually go for but something about the way the fabric hugs your hips sold you the moment you tried it on. When HAO texted that the event was black tie (typical Joelle), your outfit was decided. Your fingertips dangle past the hem, your skin sun kissed. The dress is tight all the way up, short black sleeves barely covering your shoulders. Across your chest, just above your cleavage is a black mesh strip that reveals your collarbones. Your hair cascades in perfect waves over your shoulder. You mentally thank your mom for teaching you all these little tricks like how to keep your hand steady or use the curling wand without burning your neck.

You hear what you can only assume to be Ashlyn's jeep pulling up outside of your house. When the engine quits and her door closes outside your window, you know you're right. You grab your small black clutch and make your way to the front door. She knocks as soon as you make it out of your room and you quicken your pace. You open the door and you're not nearly prepared for what stands on the other side.

Ashlyn's hair is pulled back into a tight, low bun only accentuating her already prominent cheekbones. She's wearing a perfectly tailored dark blue suit, jacket buttoned and all, with a matching button up underneath. Her maroon tie and matching pocket square are only brought out by her same-toned lipstick. Even her shoes—which you can't tell if they're brown or maroon or some hybrid—seem to match perfectly. It's like she bought the look piece-for-piece straight from GQ. The only difference is Ashlyn looks better than you've ever thought any of those men do.

Ashlyn coughs nervously as she tries to catch your attention.

“You look gorgeous,” she says earnestly when your eyes meet hers and the word catches you off guard. You don't think you've ever heard the blonde use that word seriously, save for describing women in magazines or on the screen. You struggle to mumble a “thanks,” mostly because your still taking in her entire being.

“You look...” when you fail to complete the thought, Ashlyn chuckles and pulls on her lapels.

“Dapper as hell?” She tries and you can't help but laugh.

“You look great,” you say gently, your hand somehow finding it's way to her forearm. She leans into your touch before you can retract it. “Want something to drink? I can call the Uber.”

“Water is fine,” she smiles and you grab her a glass and pull out your phone.

“Looks like Alfred will be here in four minutes,” you announce when the app vibrates.

“Good old Alfred,” Ashlyn chuckles as she sips her glass. You can feel her eyes drag down your body and the air slowly thickens. “Are you going to carry that all night?” Her voice breaks your thoughts. Her eyes are latched onto the black clutch in your left hand. You shrug and a small smirk grows on her lips. “If you have a drink in one hand and that in the other,” her voice fades out and your eyebrow raises suggestively. “All I'm saying is you'll be a bit tied up.”

“And where do you suggest I put my belongings?” You laugh lightly. “Not all of us were blessed with pockets.”

“One of the many perks of a suit,” she grins sheepishly. “Here, I have plenty of pockets,” she reaches out her hand. “I'll trade my keys out for yours,” she places hers on the counter and now you're positive Ashlyn has to return to your kitchen tonight.

“Are you sure?”

“My pleasure. Really.” There's something suggestive in her voice and you give in without protest. You take out your thin wallet and she slides your ID out of it, placing it in her card holder and putting your wallet down on the counter.

“What if I need my debit card?”

“I'll take care of you,” she shrugs like it's nothing. When your eyes widen a bit she adds, “It'll save room” and you can't protest because they're her pockets. “Plus, I know you're not going to leave your phone behind so I have to make room for that,” she smiles.

“Touché.”

Your phone vibrates to signal Alfred's arrival. Ashlyn leads you to the door and pulls your keys out to lock it for you. You see the black sedan out front and walk towards it, Ashlyn easily catching up in her flat wingtips. She pulls the door open for you and when you start to slide she closes the car door to jog to the other side. When she slides into the seat next to you, she grins.

“Can't have you sliding in that dress.”

Alfred confirms that address and makes small talk with Ashlyn about the location of the party— apparently a well known mansion of sorts. It's not until the music is the most prominent sound in the car that Ashlyn moves closer. Her hand falls onto your knee as she turns to offer a soft smile, her tongue peeking through her lips for a moment.

You didn't think a touch could do that. Not a touch like this. A light hand on your knee in the back of a car where you one hundred percent not about to kiss Ashlyn. Yet your skin is on fire and you have to hold yourself back from moving your leg further into her hand. While you're busy trying to calm your mind, Ashlyn leans into your ear, her voice soft.

“This dress is unbelievable.” Her breath hits your necks and you shudder.

“I can't believe we have to go to this party,” you suddenly say.

“It's not all bad,” she smirks, feeling the heat on your skin. “At least you got to see me in a suit.”

 

* * *

 

You pull up to a massive gated property and Ashlyn instinctively rolls her eyes.

“Here we go.”

“You slept with her,” you mumble through your laughter, though you hate the image that pops into your head.

“If you could even call it that.” You say thanks to Alfred and climb out of the Uber, tensing when you see all the girls waiting for you already at the steps.

“Ow OW!” Pinoe calls out and when her eyes land on you your cheeks deepen. She's in a suit of her own, simple and black with a bowtie. “Joelle is going to Lose. Her. Mind. Over you two!” You laugh because, honestly, she might. Christen smiles sheepishly behind Pinoe and when her eyes meet yours you know what she's wondering. You try to soften your eyes, giving her _something_ to work with. She grins as a happy Tobin in a sleeveless black dress greets you.

“Love the suit, Ash. Ali you look amazing.” You both grin as you return compliments. HAO is in a dark gray looser dress and Christen's in a flowy deep red one.

“Well,” HAO announces. “We might as well start drinking.”

“Don't have to tell me twice,” Pinoe declares as she leads your way up the marble stairs. The place is huge, white pillars and all. You wouldn't like to live here. As beautiful as it is, you'd need at least fifteen roommates to feel comfortable in this place. As you enter, though, you can see why it's appealing. Apart from the somewhat stiff furniture, the high ceilings and architecture captivate you.

Ashlyn's hand is strong on your lower back as she leads you further into the house. Pinoe finds the open bar within seconds and is ordering you all cocktails. As soon as HAO cheers to your team, a miniature albeit beautiful Joelle walks up.

“My favorite ladies! I'm so glad you could make it!” She goes around kissing you each on the cheek. By the time she makes it to you, her hand finds your hip as she leans in. By the time she gets to Ashlyn, her hand finds the blonde's ass. Your stomach clenches at the touch. “I need to introduce you to some of my team. They've been dying to meet you!” Joelle leads you up her stairs to what looks like a bigger living room with an even larger open bar. When Ashlyn stays back to fall in line with you, you lean into her.

“Looks like Joelle's still up for round two.”

“She didn't exactly ignore you,” the blonde laughs. “Woman has got to get her hormones in check.” You laugh but when her laugh shoots through your core, you think Joelle isn't the only one.

 

The next hour or so is spent mingling with Joelle's team making pointless small talk most of them won't remember. They've been here a bit longer and, with the open bar, everyone's having more than they need. When you meet up with the girls again it's clear by the way Tobin's hands can't stay off of Christen that she's also grabbed a few drinks during your mingling. Pinoe's giggles give her away, too.

There's faint music in the room next door and Pinoe declares it your next stop. Of course, not without another free drink.

You're surprised to see people drunkenly grinding on each other in such a fancy place. At the same time, the alcohol has you amongst the crowd within seconds. HAO grabs your hands and you dance with your friend for a bit, both of you giggling at Pinoe's attempt at the stanky leg. It's not until Pinoe grabs HAO, insisting she can teach her the dance, that Ashlyn comes up beside you. Her hand finds your hip.

“Dance with me,” she husks as she turns you towards her. Your eyes flicker to your friends for a moment who all seem to distracted to care. She wants you facing her but you don't think you can handle that yet. You need to be close to her. You turn and press your back into her, your body fitting perfectly in hers. Her hands fall below your hips and the touch jolts your body. Your hips move against hers instinctively as if you've been dancing with her for years. Her hands move slowly up your sides. Your arm reaches behind, hand brushing her neck until the contact suddenly isn't enough. You turn towards her and press your front into her. With your heels, your lips fall naturally at her ear so you only need to lean forward for her to hear.

“Take me somewhere.” Ashlyn pulls away only to see your eyes, confirming what she'd been looking for.

“Where?”

“Anywhere.” Ashlyn pulls away slowly to observe the situation. She taps HAO's shoulder.

“Where'd Pinoe go?” She asks, realizing the blonde has vanished.

“She wanted to explore,” she laughs. “Said she could definitely get lost in here. Wants to scope it out for hide and seek or something,” she rolls her eyes.

“Not a bad idea,” Ashlyn's eyes light up and, for a moment, you think you've lost her. “I want to go check it out, too.” HAO just smiles and Ashlyn turns towards you. “Care to join me?” Her eyes lift slightly and you think she could take you anywhere right now.

She brushes past you, her right hand dropping behind her for you to grab. You reach for her hand and follow behind her broad shoulders. She weaves through what seems like an endless sea of people until she hits the end of a hallway, turning into what looks like an old-fashioned library. As soon as you enter, she closes the door behind you and the sounds of the party dies behind the door. Ashlyn steps forward, your back pressing against the wooden door as her arm lands to the side of your head.

“Finally,” she licks her lips. When her eyes flicker all over your face a rush pulses through your body. You grab her by the collar and pull her lips down onto yours, a moan escaping you. Ashlyn seems to fumble for a moment, her hands stabilizing herself against the door. You pull her down further until her body is pressed against yours, your hands moving down her back. You don't notice how hard it is keep your breath steady. You're too preoccupied with getting closer to the already impossibly close blonde. You unbutton her suit jacket in one swoop as your arms slide inside the jacket and around her waist. As your hands wander down her waist, Ashlyn leans down and fiddles with the hem of your dress. She begins pushing it up slowly, as if waiting for protest, and when it doesn't come she pushes it up to your waist. In one motion, she leans down and hoists you onto her hips. You let out a grunt as your back crashes against the door but when Ashlyn's lips find your neck you're easily appeased.

“Fuck,” you breath, your center grinding on her hips. “You're so sexy.”

 

Ali Krieger would never say that. No, you can't remember ever wanting to say that aloud to another human but here, your legs gripped around Ashlyn's waist, you can't think anything else.

 

Ashlyn kisses your skin hungrily and the pounding in your core grows. Your thighs begin shaking and you whimper in her ear.

“Touch me,” you manage to husk, but Ashlyn just pushes you harder against the door. You grab her by the jaw and take her lips into yours. Your tongue begs for entrance and Ashlyn moans against your lips. Your hands grip her neck as your legs tighten. She backs away from the door, still carrying you with connected lips. When she pulls away to find her way to the stiff lounge chair in the back of the room, you lips rush to her ear.

“Mmm, Alex,” she hums and you giggle into her ear, eliciting yet another moan from the blonde. When she reaches the lounge, she lays you down, her body collapsing onto yours.

“I want this off,” you tug at her jacket like you've never wanted anything more. Ashlyn sits up, ready to oblige when a familiar voice rings down the hall.

“OH! What do you think is down here?” Ashlyn jumps at the sound of Pinoe's voice and you quickly pull your dress down your thighs. You flatten your hair as quickly as you can as Ashlyn turns towards the bookshelf, rushing as far away from you as she can. Your heart is pounding, partly from whatever Ashlyn has done to you, partly from Pinoe's loudening footsteps.

The door swings open and Pinoe, accompanied by Tobin, stands in the doorway. Pinoe freezes when she sees you, confusion falling over her.

“What're you guys doing here?” Without missing a beat, Ashlyn turns towards your friends, her suit perfectly buttoned and wrinkle-free.

“HAO said we were playing hide and seek,” Ashlyn states as though it's the most obvious thing in the world. There's no way in hell that will work, you think, but within seconds Pinoe is buying it.

“Not yet, dummies! I was scoping it out. You just gave away your best hiding spot.”

“Damn it,” Ashlyn plays along. “Better go find another.”

“Let's get the girls,” Pinoe says.

 

And so you do. You gather yourself and follow behind Pinoe, agreeing to a game of hide and seek. Except now there's a pool between your legs and an aching throb in your core. You need to be alone with Ashlyn _now_. By the way the blonde's eyes keep grazing your body, you think she's on the same page. But with Tobin and Christen paired off, it leaves an odd number and Pinoe or HAO is almost always by your side. You've limited the game to a wing of the house on the second floor because that's how fucking massive the house is. When you hide in a small shoe closet, you squat in between Pinoe and Ashlyn. You almost out yourself when HAO walks by looking for you because the feel of Ashlyn's muscle becomes too much. When Press starts counting, Pinoe takes off in the opposite direction and shoves you right into Ashlyn's front. The contact makes your knees buckle and, of course, Ashlyn grabs you by the waist. If you don't get alone with her fast, you think you may combust.

So, when it's Ashlyn's turn to count, you strategically break off from your friends, mumbling something about the bathroom. Ashlyn's turned towards the opposite wall to count because you can't visibly play high and seek at a black tie event. As you make your way over to her, you see Joelle swoop in with a sly grin. She immediately reaches for Ashlyn's lapel with flirty eyes. You think you see Ashlyn's back tense but, then again, you could be imagining it.

You freeze for a moment on the outskirts of the dance floor, noticing the way your stomach churns as Joelle steps closer. When Joelle leans into Ashlyn's ear you all but lose control of your legs and find yourself walking towards the pair. Your hand lands on the small of Ashlyn's back as Joelle's eyes fall on you. To your surprise, they light up.

“Ali,” she smiles, her hand seamlessly moving to your forearm. “I was just telling Ashlyn over here how stunning you look tonight.” You hate that her voice mixed with Ashlyn's gaze make your cheeks redden. You hate, more, that she's here and you're not alone with Ashlyn.

“Thank you,” you smile politely. “You look beautiful, too. This place is incredible.”

“Thank you,” she smiles. Her eyes fall back to Ashlyn. “So what do you say?” The words aren't lost on you. Joelle has propositioned Ashlyn with _something_ involving a place other than here and most definitely less clothing.

“I think I'm going to have to say no,” Ashlyn says softly and Joelle's face drops. “I promised these ladies a girl's night.” Joelle relaxes.

“Well, raincheck then?” Ashlyn smiles with a polite nod, doing her best to avoid the question. Joelle turns away, smile on her lips, and Ashlyn looks at you.

“Well, you lost this round,” she chuckles. You'd all but forgotten you were playing hide and seek. “What're you doing?”

“I had a better idea,” you smirk, taking the blonde's hand and turning away from Joelle. You go straight to the west side of the house.

“This is out of bounds,” Ashlyn protests, somewhat confused by your intention. You don't answer, you just power through the enormous hall. You don't stop until you find an alcove in the back of an empty room that looks like yet another dinning room. When you spin to face her, her eyes are wide. She searches for an explanation as your hands pull her waist towards yours.

“I couldn't take it anymore,” is all you offer. Your hands stroke up and down her sides until Ashlyn's body relaxes. Her eyes meet yours.

“You are so hot,” she whispers and, coming from her lips, it almost sounds sweet. The moment her lips hit yours, though, there's nothing sweet about it. Her kiss is hard and her breath is choppy. You whimper into her lips, your hands finding the sides of her face. She hoists you onto the lower window sill so your face is slightly above hers. Your legs wrap around her core instantly.

“Fuck,” you mumble as her body presses against yours. She begins planting kisses down your neck. “Ash.” For a moment, everything is black. It's just Ashlyn's body and lips and on yours. Her hands travel up your thighs, your dress sliding up your sides. Her hands feel strong and cover most of your thighs, the sensation becoming stronger by the second. When you moan, Ashlyn giggles against your collarbone, her kisses getting lower. “I never thought...this...you'd make me lose control,” you mumble between choppy breaths. Ashlyn pulls away for a moment but you quickly pull her lips back down to your neck. “Don't stop,” you mumble. She quickens her pace, her hands sliding further up your dress as you lift your hips into her. You need her touch. “Watching you with Joelle—I can't believe I was...” you try to huff out the word jealous but Ashlyn seems to know where you're going. Her lips rip away from your skin as she stands upright. You go to complain about the lack of contact but when you see her face you freeze. Her eyes, albeit hooded, are dark in a different way than you're used to. Her brow is furrowed and even when she catches her breath she seems flustered.

“Why do you keep saying that?” She snaps. Her tone forces you upright. “Why is this so hard for you to believe? You _can't believe_ you're attracted to me, you _can't believe_ I could be into you.”

You're frozen. Ashlyn's never spoken to you like this. Not off the field, at least. There's suddenly a rasp in her voice that wasn't present before. You suddenly feel bare. As if it will help you find the words, you begin sliding your dress back down your hips. But it's Ashlyn standing there, panting and frantic, that finally makes you speak.

“I—because your my best friend. What are you talking about?” You ask in a soft, calm voice hoping your energy will rub off on her. It doesn't.

“You're acting like it's crazy to be attracted to me! And you keep saying this came out of nowhere like I haven't been flirting with you nonstop since we were 10! I mean tell me if I'm wrong but it sure as hell _seems_ like you're attracted to me so why is it so hard to believe--” she's talking a mile a minute and if you don't cut her off you're not sure you'll ever get a word in.

“What? What did you say?”

“Aren't you attracted to me?”

“No, not that. You've been flirting since we were kids?” Ashlyn practically rolls her eyes taking a few steps away. Her back turns to you as her hands brush over her slicked back hair. Once she takes a few deep breaths, she turns towards you again. She's about to open her mouth when your eyes widen at something behind her. Your gaze drop to the floor, your hand coming up to your forehead.

“Shit,” you mumble.

Ashlyn quickly turns around to see Christen frozen and on her tip toes, leaning against the back wall, like a teen caught sneaking out of her house. Her cheeks are bright red, the whites of her eyes growing with every second.

“I—I—”

“Fuck,” Ashlyn's turns to you immediately, her eyes full of panic. You realize quickly that, to her, it doesn't matter that Christen has seen this. It matters that you may care.

“It's okay,” you sigh and you realize you're addressing both of them. You quickly turn to Ashlyn. “She already knew,” you admit and the blonde's eyebrows shoot up. “Well, kind of. She had a hunch.” Ashlyn's eyes flicker from you to an unbearably bashful Christen. You don't think you've ever seen her so in her shell. Still, the new knowledge seems to relax Ashlyn.

“How much of that did you hear?” Ashlyn asks with an uncharacteristically soft voice. Christen's eyes drop but Ashlyn quickly assures her, “it's okay, Chris. How much?”

“Pretty much...all of it.” Christen's admission makes you audibly groan, your body slumping. Not only did she hear your moaning Ashlyn's name, she also heard Ashlyn practically yelling at you in frustration about...well, you're still not quite sure.

“I'm sorry,” you quickly mumble.

“No,” Christen quickly adds, her voice stronger than before. “No, I'm sorry. I—”

“Yeah wait, what are you doing in this wing?” Ashlyn quickly asks, her mind suddenly back to the childish game of hide and seek.

“The girls thought it would be funny to prank you,” she says abashedly. “They knew you'd be the only one who took it seriously enough to keep looking for us.” Ashlyn rolls her eyes but a chuckle escapes her lips.

“Hey, um,” Ashlyn starts at Christen and you're surprised at how nervous she sounds. “I hate to put you in this position. But, uh, do you think you could maybe keep this between us for now? I don't think Al—we,” she quickly adds and you hate that she's thinking of you first when you're clearly the cause of her outburst. “We have to figure some stuff out before we decide to bring anyone in on this.”

“Of course,” Christen takes a step towards you all, her voice getting softer. “I won't say anything.” As if reading your mind, she adds, “not even Tobin.” Ashlyn's eyes widen at the brunette. “I know what it's like to want to be in control of your secret,” she shrugs softly.

“Thank you,” is all you can think to say. Christen smiles at you, her eyes light. She steps towards the door. “I'll let you two, um,” she falls quiet, not sure what to say. You nod and she stops only feet away from the door. “Uh, wait. Tobs and Pinoe are across the hall. I don't know if you want to leave alone together.”

“Why aren't you with them?” Ashlyn laughs. Christen rolls her eyes with a chuckle.

“They thought this hiding spot sucked. I wanted to prove them wrong.”

“Sorry,” you laugh, knowing you've crushed that dream. When your laughter settles, Ashlyn turns to you.

“Maybe we should all leave together. It'll just look like I found you first.” You nod, knowing you're not in a position to argue. But her words keep ringing in your head. You feel as though you've missed something huge in your friendship. You mind starts wandering to high school and long nights spent with Ashlyn. Hundreds of tournaments in hotel rooms and what felt like endless teasing. “Al? You ready?” The two women are standing by the door waiting for you. You need to talk to Ashlyn. You're about to beg her to stay back with you when you remember her car and her keys are at your house, so you nod and walk towards them.

When they turn to exit, you reach for Ashlyn's wrist. She turns over her shoulder.

“Can we finish talking tonight?” You ask but, when Ashlyn doesn't answer right away, you add, “I want to talk tonight.” Ashlyn, noting your growing boldness, offers you a crooked yet shy smile.

“It's about time.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with me. Been moving around a bit and haven't been in one place for too long. 
> 
> Hope you're enjoying still.... :) Love to hear your thoughts!! xx


	13. Like Old Times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all have someone to heal this heartbreak with. If not, find me on tumblr: slaves4hemo   
> Can't imagine what the team is feeling, keep supporting them and showing your love. Hope this at least brings you a smile. xx

The ride home is quiet. Quiet expect for Pinoe whose statements do not seem to be dependent on an answer. She's been babbling on about her hide and seek clean sweep, Joelle's mansion and, of course, the beautiful brunette herself. She only gets a few answers from Ashlyn. HAO is too tired to even keep her head upright. Under other circumstances, you'd probably be giggling at Pinoe's drunken state. But here, with your thighs sandwiched between Pinoe and Ashlyn, you're struggling to even hear her words.

When you left the room with Christen and Ashlyn, the blonde had little trouble composing herself. With the promise of talking later, she seemed to brush off the encounter enough to rejoin the game. You on the other hand were pulled aside by both HAO and Pinoe more than once to confirm that you were okay.

The second Tobin said she was tired, you'd practically pushed all the girls out the door. Your mind wouldn't stop turning and not even a game of hide and seek could quiet the noise. You were torn between needing to ask Ashlyn a thousand questions and needing Ashlyn to touch you. The later, however, would only delay the former. That, you think, is how you got here in the first place.

“You gonna sleep here?” Pinoe asks Ashlyn when you the driver pulls into your neighborhood.

“My cars here,” Ashlyn reminds her of the reason you shared an Uber in the first place. Pinoe had parked at HAO's house and, given all of your states, it made the most sense to sleep wherever one's car was.

“Right. Well, if you guys go out for breakfast at all, hit us up.”

“Will do.” The car pulls up to your driveway and Ashlyn opens the door after saying light goodbyes. You're sliding out to follow when Pinoe snatches your arm.

“You sure you're alright?” She whispers.

“Just exhausted,” you offer a small smile. “Thanks for checking.”

“I'll check in tomorrow,” she promises. “Call if you need to talk. Ashlyn's not a bad listener, either,” she nods towards the blonde and you smile, her own suggestion escaping her.

“I may take her up on that,” you find yourself smiling. “See you ladies later.”

  
  


“What did Pinhead want?” Ashlyn asks when you close the door and the car starts driving away. The blonde searches through her pockets for your keys and hands them to you as she falls in line beside you.

“Just making sure I'm okay,” you shrug in an attempt to shake off the idea entirely.

“How are you?” Ashlyn's eyes don't leave your face. Not when you walk up the steps to your front door, not when you fiddle with your keys, not when you finally unlock the door. You don't speak until you're both inside, the door locked behind you.

“My mind is overwhelmed is all.”

“I'm sorry for losing my cool earlier. I shouldn't have let my emotions get the best of me.”

“I'm sorry that I struck a nerve.” Ashlyn leans against your kitchen counter. She unbuttons her suit jacket and peels it off, tossing it over one of the kitchen table chairs. You pull your eyes to hers not wanting them to linger too long on her tight button-up. You slide out of your heels, kicking them to the side. The blonde takes a deep breath, clearly trying to steady her voice.

“Do you know what upset me?” She asks. You lean backwards for support, grateful that one of the kitchen cabinets catches you. You're only about five feet from Ashlyn, both of your bodies fully facing the other's.

“I—I don't want you to think I think it's crazy that I find you attractive. Trust me, I think you're absolutely stunning. Always have.” That's the truth. You know you're leaving out a large piece of the puzzle. Finding someone attractive is different than being attracted to someone. Ashlyn sighs.

“But you can't seem to fathom the thought of being attracted _to_ me?” She keeps her voice gentle but you can hear it brimming with frustration.

“That's not what I mean.”

“I'm sorry I lost my cool,” she says again, her voice getting a bit louder. “I just can only hear _I can't believe_ I'm kissing you, _I can't believe_ I'm into you so many times.” She's clearly frustrated and when she looks up you think her eyes may be brimming with tears. If they are, she fights them back. “I mean, why is it _so_ shocking!” Her voice is almost as loud as it was back at the party. She's raw and you take an instinctive step closer to her.

“Ash, listen to me.” You take another step closer but the blonde stands upright as if to create more distance between you. Still, you continue. “You've always been a best friend in my mind. All that time we spent together growing up, I didn't even realize who I was. I didn't know I could be into women that way. So now, it's like a reintroduction. It's all new to me.” The words seem to appease Ashlyn for a moment. She nods and begins unbuttoning the cuffs of her shirt, rolling her sleeves up her forearms.

“Can I ask you something?” She doesn't wait for an answer. You wonder if she knows you'd answer anything right now. “Why is it so hard for you to believe that I could be into you?”

“Ash, you spent nearly all of my childhood teasing me!” You're the one raising your voice now. You didn't think you'd lose track of your emotions so soon but, with alcohol still on your lips and a stunning Ashlyn Harris in front of you, they didn't stand a chance. The blonde nearly scoffs.

“Teasing? That's why you can't believe this?”

“Everything felt like a game to you! It was like you lived to embarrass me or something.” Ashlyn's hand lands on her forehead. When she speaks, she can't bring her eyes to meet you.

“Alex, I've been flirting with you since we were ten.” She lets the words hang in the air before continuing. “I pushed you in every way I could think of in hopes that the thought would be planted in your head and, one day, you'd wake up and see me differently!” Her eyes are dark and she looks exhausted. When you shake your head, Ashlyn's voice nearly cracks. “Why can't you believe that?!” If there weren't tears brewing before, you think they're definitely forming now.

“Please, do you even remember me? I followed you guys around like a puppy! I was awkward and clumsy and didn't know how to carry myself anywhere other than on the pitch!” You're frantic. Your arms are waving in the air and you didn't realize until now how choppy your breath has become.

“Alex, wake up!” Her eyes widen. Her voice, for the first time all night, is firm. “You're the most beautiful girl in this lame ass town. I don't know one kid our age who _wasn't_ into you. I mean, look at your. You're literally glowing! You were kind to everyone you met and humble as hell. You're the only one who ever got me and could get past my humor! Why do you think I never wanted to talk about Tom or any of the guys you dated?” She rolls her eyes. Her chest is rising and falling rapidly. You want to reach out and calm her but her words have practically paralyzed you. “Why do you think I always begged you to sleep over? I freaking made Tom pick you up at _my_ house so I could try to scare him away. When you finally told me about Kelsey, the first thing I said was about you turning me down all those years! I mean, I don't know what else I could have done!”

You're left with nothing but heavy breaths. You can't tell where yours begin and Ashlyn's end. When it becomes clear that you haven't found the right words, Ashlyn's hands come up to cover her eyes. You take another step closer. When your arm lands on the blonde's right bicep, she tenses for a moment before dropping her hands. A yellow hue is coming through her eyes and, for a moment, you lose your thought.

“I'm gonna make us some tea,” you mumble. Ashlyn nods, a small smile on her lips. You start the pot and turn back to the still frozen blonde. “Sit,” you tell her. “Do you want me to get your something more comfortable to change into?”

“I can wait,” she says, her voice noticeably calmer. She finds her way to your kitchen table—the only spot in your place totally illuminated. It's not until you're setting up the mugs that Ashlyn speaks. “I'm sorry for raising my voice. That's not like me I just...you've definitely got ahold of my emotions.” The admission, even after her mini monologue moments ago, still weakens your knees.

“You don't need to apologize,” you say once you finish pouring the tea. You walk the matching blue mugs over to Ashlyn. She's sitting in the corner seat and you decidedly take the head of the table so you can face her while still being as close as possible. “I'm sorry. I've been so confused I haven't even considered how you were feeling.” For the first time, the corner of Ashlyn's mouth turns up.

“And here I am rambling when all I really want to know is what you're feeling,” she grins. Both of her hands cup the warm mug, steam still spilling from the surface.

“I'm confused,” you admit and you can practically see her heart clench. “Not for the reasons you probably think. Maybe I should have started with this: I can't stop thinking about you.” When Ashlyn doesn't psychically react, you reach over and place your warm hand atop her wrist. She keeps her hands around her tea but noticeably relaxes. “I've never had so much fun with someone _and_ been so attracted to them. I've never been this attracted to anyone ever. I mean, I've never even _thought_ about kissing someone in an office and earlier you had me practically—” you don't have to finish the thought. Ashlyn's sheepish grin and red cheeks let you know she's following. “But I've been pushing all of it out of my mind because I'm confused. Maybe scared is a better word,” you admit and this seems to draw a reaction from her.

“Of what?”

“At first I thought you were still messing with me so, I don't know, I didn't want to embarrass myself. But now—now I can't imagine losing you as a friend. I mean, you've never even shown signs of wanting to date someone or settle down and I'm not putting our friendship on the line to appease whatever tension you build in me.” Ashlyn's eyes flutter shut but she quickly pulls herself too.

“Al, it was never worth it before. You know what it's like back here,” she says. You know better than anyone how rough living here was for Ashlyn. Her family life was anything but peaceful and she needed a scholarship to get her through school and get her away from a toxic home. While you share similar stories with your brothers, your parents drama only affected you in High School when you could drive and escape it all. Ashlyn was stuck in her world from the age of four. “I wouldn't dream about messing up school or soccer because of a serious girlfriend. No one was ever worth it.” You know, in the back of her mind, her biggest fear had always been getting hurt. Her parents hurt her, her brother hurt her, even some friends hurt her. As if reading your mind, Ashlyn adds, “No one was worth getting hurt for.” Her voice isn't gentle or angry, it's just matter-of-factly.

“Why—”

“Alex,” she warns. “I just told you I've been into you since we were pre-pubescent teens and you're going to ask me _why_ I'm picking you?” You laugh lightly at her expression but the words hit you like a freight train. _Picking you._

“Ash,” you breathe, your hand falling on hers again.

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said—look. Can I be honest?” You nod, wondering what she's been all night. “Whatever we've been doing since you got back, it's been a dream. I mean, I couldn't imagine kissing you would feel that good. But I can't sustain something that's only physical with you. There's too much at stake, too many emotions. But I know this is new to you. I want you to take your time and create your own idea of whatever this is.” She lets her words out slowly as if she can't handle you missing even one word.

There's something new in the blonde's eyes. Even dressed up like this, her voice still strong, she looks somewhat youthful again. Her eyes are smiling even if her lips aren't.

“I want to take you on a date.” The words take longer than they should to register. Three hours ago, you would have bet your life that you'd never hear those eight words leave the blonde's mouth. You can't even fathom what that would look like—a date with Ashlyn Harris. You wonder, too, if she even has an idea. Still, the butterflies banging against your ribcage make you think that doesn't matter. Suddenly, it feels like everything you never knew you wanted.

When you're too caught up in your thoughts to answer, Ashlyn pulls your hand from your cup and interlaces her fingers with yours. The gesture alone makes your heart skip at least two beats.

“I don't want to ask too much of you. No pressure, okay? You don't need to know how you feel or what you want right now. Just let me take you on a date. The real deal. We'll just...put things on pause until then,” she says and the thought of not kissing the blonde until the date has your stomach in knots. “I want to show you what this could be like. Will you let me? One date, that's all I'm asking.”

If you thought the blonde had started chipping away at the walls you'd put up, she was suddenly coming at you with a wrecking ball. You're positive now. You stand no chance.

“One condition:” you break out into a grin. “I get to wear my favorite cocktail dress.” Relief washes over Ashlyn's body.

“I wouldn't have it any other way,” she smirks, leaning back in the chair. She takes a sip of her tea. You fall into an all-too-comfortable silence before your eyes land on the clock. 2:43 AM. Ashlyn's eyes follow yours to the time. Her hand falls onto your knee. “Stay with me,” she smiles softly. “Finish your tea. We can just talk, like old times.”

“Like old times,” you repeat back with a smile, ignoring how new it all really feels.

  
  


 


	14. Major Flashbacks

You laughed when Ashlyn offered to sleep on the couch. _We've shared a bed more times than I can count._ But when you wake up nuzzled into the blonde's side, you think maybe she had a point. You quickly pull yourself off from the sleeping woman, careful not to wake her, before you end up in a more compromising position. Her words play over again in your mind. You're on pause until your date, whenever that is. The idea still makes your hands clam up but, after your talk with Ashlyn last night, you know you want to try.

You'd stayed up until nearly four, sleep in your eyes and on your lips, talking over tea. You'd talked about nothing important, yet her words always carried weight with you. Even the way she spoke about the new bed frame she was getting felt incredibly important. And when Ashlyn listened to you talk about the new puppy Kyle was about to rescue, it was like you were revealing an old family secret.

When you finally moved up to your room, she'd been been all-too respectful. Timid, even. When you changed into sleeping shorts and a tee, Ashlyn had turned towards the windows. When she climbed into bed, she'd obeyed a rigid invisible line that split the bed in half.

“I'm not going to cancel our date if your leg brushes mine,” you laughed. Ashlyn smiled, turned to face you and said, “Don't want to take any chances.”

Now, in the dim light of your bedroom, you want to reach out and brush the wisps of hair out of Ashlyn's still face. As soon as the thought enters your mind you pull yourself out of bed. You throw your hair up into a messy bun and head downstairs to start a pot of coffee. It's ten after nine and you know given the amount of sleep you've clocked, you'll need more than one cup. You think about letting Ashlyn sleep longer but after two sips of coffee you're on your way upstairs with a cup for the blonde. Your footsteps make her stir and you walk over to her side of the bed. Something about seeing her asleep makes everything less intimidating. You sit on the edge of the bed as her eyes flutter open.

“Morning,” she mumbles, sleep clear in her throat. When you come into focus, a smile grows on her lips. “Mmm,” she hums as she sits up a bit. “Look at this service.” You giggle as you hand her the cup of coffee. “Thank you.”

“Morning sleepy head,” you laugh, you hand falling onto her knee under the covers. “Figured you could use something to wake you up.” Ashlyn takes a sip and practically moans into the mug.

“This is delicious.” As you sit beside the blonde, your hand on her leg, you realize how domestic it all feels.

“We're doing this out of order,” you laugh. It takes a moment for her to understand what you mean but when she does, she chuckles.

“I'm not sure there is a right order.” Her eyes fall serious as they flicker around your face. She takes one more sip before lowering the cup to her lap. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Tonight?” She nods. “Um, nothing.”

“I'll pick you up at seven, then?” You don't bother hiding the grin that explodes on your lips. “I figure it'll get us back on track,” she jokes.

“What should I wear?”

“Considering your one condition to going on a date with me was wearing your favorite dress, I think you have your answer.” You laugh even through burning cheeks.

“Have you ever been on a date before?” You find yourself asking with a gentle voice. Her eyebrows raise slightly and you suddenly feel foolish for asking.

“There's a lot you don't know about me, squirt.”

 

* * *

 

Kyle is busy setting up the doggy gates he bought in preparation for Luna's arrival.

“I love that name,” you tell him. He doesn't even look up. He removes the gate he just placed between the kitchen doorframe only to reinstall it once more. “You know, the dogs not gonna notice if the gate is off by a tenth of an inch.” He stands with a big exhale.

“I just want it to be perfect!” You hop onto his kitchen counter and lean back against the wall. He looks up at you, stress clear on your face. “Coffee? You look like you need coffee.” You barely offer a nod before he's pouring your third cup of the day. He hands you the warm mug and slaps you on the thigh. “So you gonna tell me why you called an emergency meeting hours before I officially become a father?” You roll your eyes with a giggle.

“She asked me on a date tonight.” Kyle's eyes practically fall out.

“ _Ashlyn_?” He breathes in disbelief and you barely nod. “Why wouldn't you START with that?” He's practically shouting. “Tonight? How long do you have?” You check the clock on his microwave.

“About seven hours.”

When Kyle finally calms down, he makes you recount the last twenty-four hours. Every last detail.

“Well what are you going to wear?”

“The black halter neck dress.” His eyes light up. The dress is tight against your torso and begins to loosen slightly above your hips—all while still hugging your figure.

“Holy shit where is she taking you?”

“I have no idea,” you shrug.

“Are you nervous?”

“Obviously! Why do you think I'm here?” Your face drops to your hands. Kyle slowly steps towards you, pulling your hands back to your lap and wrapping you into a hug.

“Come on,” he pulls you off the counter. “We're going to the gym.”

 

You spend the afternoon lifting with Kyle and talking all-things-not-Ashlyn. You talk mostly about Luna and Kyle's new favorite client who, you can't help but assume he's developed a crush on. You head back to his apartment to make smoothies. It's not until you're getting ready to leave that he brings up the date again.

“Just relax, Al. I'm sorry I can't be there to help you get ready.”

“I suppose I've got to get used to coming in second to Luna,” you joke and Kyle gives you a smug shrug through his laughter.

“I'm not trying to add pressure or anything,” he starts, “but I'm surprised it took this long. I've been waiting for her to ask you out since high school.” You roll your eyes and he adds, “I'm serious. Look, it's just Ash. Just go out and have fun. Don't overthink things.”

You know that's the advice you need the most. If there was an award for overthinking, you'd have it locked down. Even through his sweat, Kyle pulls you into a bear hug.

“Send me pics of Luna. Can't wait to meet my niece,” you say into his chest.

“And you send me pics before you leave. Call if you need anything, okay?”

“Love you,” you smile as you pull away and turn towards the door. Kyle, wearing a sheepish grin, reaches out and slaps your ass.

“Go get 'em, queen!”

 

* * *

 

You're finally grateful for all the hours Emily forced you and Carm to learn about makeup over your college years. If it were up to you, mascara would be the only thing in your makeup bag. But tonight—your first official date with Ashlyn Harris—you don't think that would do. You put on your finishing touch—a red lip—and smile at your reflection. The halter dress effortlessly accentuates your collarbones and shoulders, your heels emphasizing your legs and ass. You feel good. Really good.

If you're being honest, you're still not exactly sure how you feel about the whole deal. Yes, you've admitted, you're clearly attracted to her. More attracted than you can ever remember being to another person. Sometimes your core heats up at the thought of her alone. Still, it's more than that. There's a magnetic pull, too. What you don't know, though, it how realistic it all is. Is this sustainable? Is it worth threatening a nearly lifelong friendship for? Is Ashlyn even ready for a relationship? You know you could keep asking dumb questions for hours but Kyle's words ring in your head. Don't overthink. _Right._

You quickly snap a selfie to Kyle and within seconds he's replying with an image of him and a beautiful, big eyed brown pup. _Luna's young eyes weren't ready for that! Damn!!_

You're quickly typing out how beautiful your new niece is when the doorbell rings. Your stomach clenches. You quickly look over yourself in the mirror, pulling your loose curls over your shoulder. _Deep breath, Al._

You head downstairs, opening the door before you can change your mind.

_“Woah.”_

_“Woah._ ”

You both chuckle at your identical responses, blush rushing to your cheeks. Ashlyn's sporting a short-sleeve black button up with white hearts that are so subtle they look more like polka-dots spread throughout. She's got a maroon skinny tie on and a small, gold chain that falls right below her collar. Her shirt is untucked over a pair of black skinny jeans that bunch into a pair of low, black chelsea boots. Her hair is parted to the side and falls in light, thin surfer waves down her shoulders. With light makeup and a soft pink lip, she looks more beautiful than you remembered her in your own head. She's even sporting small diamond earrings.

Ashlyn clears her throat awkwardly and reaches her arm forward, offering a bouquet of flowers you'd missed before. Your eyes widen. There are pink and white flowers accentuated by red roses throughout.

“These are for you,” she smiles and you suddenly don't think you can survive the night. When you don't immediately take them, Ashlyn begins to ramble. “Um, I'm sorry if they're—I was going to get you German chocolate but I didn't want to spoil dessert.” A light laugh leaves your lips.

“These are perfect. Thank you.” You don't think you've ever seen her so genuinely nervous and it helps your nerves settle. “I should put these in water, you want to come in for a moment?” Ashlyn turns around to her jeep parked just outside the driveway but quickly nods. While you're walking towards the kitchen, Ashlyn speaks up.

“You look really beautiful, Al.” You turn over your shoulder.

“Thank you. So do you.” Either the blonde blushes or her makeup is more apparent in the light of your kitchen. You quickly fill the vase with water and cut the flowers so they fit perfectly. You admire them before turning towards the blonde. “Do you want something to drink?” The blonde checks her rose gold watch the cuts off the last of her tattoos.

“I think we should get on our way, if that's okay with you.” You smile.

“Of course.”

You grab your clutch and follow Ashlyn out the door, locking up behind you. When you turn, the blonde is at the passenger side door opening it up for you. You mumble a thank you as she offers her hand to help you climb in.

“That takes skill,” Ashlyn smiles, watching you climb into her Jeep with those heels.

When Ashlyn hops into her seat and puts on her seatbelt, she turns towards you with a big, toothy grin.

“You ready?” You giggle at her enthusiasm as she finally backs up.

“Where are we headed?”

“Patience,” she smiles as she turns on the radio. You drive about twenty minutes with only light conversation. You show her Luna and she makes you promise you'll take her to meet the pup this week. When you end up on a popular strip near the beach, Ashlyn swiftly parallel parks and rushes to open your door. She takes your hand to help you down and you immediately miss the contact when she drops it.

“Right this way,” she gestures forward.

“It's so cute seeing you like this,” you smile up at the blonde.

“I'm cute?” She laughs as you shakes your head.

“Yeah. I didn't ever expect to see you so...chivalrous.

“I'm a good date,” she shrugs with a grin.

“You know, no one's ever brought me flowers before.” The blonde's eyes widen as if you've just told her that you are, in fact, forty-six.

“Well, I'm honored to be your first,” she smirks.

The blonde leads up into a large, glass building. You walk into an elevator and Ashlyn notices your chest tightening.

“It's okay, Al. Only four floors up, okay?” You relax at the fact alone that you don't have to explain yourself. Ash has always known your fears. You nod, focusing instead on the signage. It's a sky bar.

“Ash,” you breathe as soon as you walk through the elevator doors. The walls are entirely made of glass and overlooking the beach. Because of the angle of the building, in fact, all you can see is beach. Ashlyn approaches the hostess and says “Harris” and you're lead closer to the glass. The hostess pulls out both of your chairs as you sit facing each other at a small table. Both of your shoulders are against the glass and from your seat all you see is crashing waves.

“This is...wow.” Being only four floors up, too, makes you still feel close to the water.

“I was going to get us reservation at Renata's,” she says about the outdoor restaurant on the water. “But I didn't want to risk the humidity ruining princess's hair. Figured this was safer,” she smiles.

“Great call,” you giggle. “This is perfect. Have you been here before?”

“It's pretty new,” she shakes her head. “Alex actually told me about it.” Quickly, she adds, “She doesn't know I brought you here. We were just talking about her favorite date spots.” You smile at how jumpy the blonde is. You reach your hand across the table placing it on hers.

“Relax,” you smile.

“I'm sorry. You look so amazing,” she tells you again. The waitress interrupts before you can respond. You both order cocktails from the menu and Ashlyn orders their appetizer plater to start. It's an Asian Fusion menu and you don't think you could be happier. When the waitress leaves, Ashlyn looks back up to you.

“Thank you for coming tonight. I know you might still be confused but I really appreciate it.”

“Thank you for inviting me out,” you smile. “It's nice to see this side of you.” The blonde grins as the waitress places your cocktails on the table.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything. I'm an open book tonight,” she grins into her water glass.

“Why haven't you really dated? Honestly?” Ashlyn doesn't seem taken aback by your question. It's as if she was expecting it, even this early on in the night.

“If you want the honest truth,” she offers softly, like the only person who deserves to hear it is you. “I've been on so many first dates. I couldn't even tell you how many. But I can count on one hand how many second dates I've been on.” You can't hide the shock in your eyes. She simply shrugs. “I don't talk about it because it never leads anywhere. So people just assume—”

“I'm sorry for assuming,” you cut her off and she chuckles.

“No, it's okay. You're not wrong to. It's just never been right before. The women I'm crazy attracted to never seem to keep me interested during the date and the women that I really enjoy the company off, something's always just been off.”

“So what you're saying is the _next_ date is the real test.”

“If you get there,” she smirks and you roll your eyes. Once her laughter settles she adds, “It's different with you, Al. Always has been.”

You don't make her elaborate. You don't think you can handle it quite yet, honestly, so instead you sip your drink and change the subject as your appetizers arrive. Ashlyn takes the chance to order a few different rolls along with a Salmon dish you agree to split.

“I haven't really had the chance to ask since you've been back,” Ashlyn starts. “How's your Dad?” You know the question holds more weight than _how's your Dad_ and you're grateful the blonde can ask such sensitive questions without forcing you to fully open up. Still, you do.

“We're talking now,” you admit. When your Dad left in high school, you cut him off. You couldn't handle him just up and leaving and it felt easier to try and forget him. He wasn't a bad man—that's what made it all harder. Really, he was a great man struggling. “I had to let go of a lot,” you admit, “but it just takes way less energy to forgive and move forward than sit here pissed for years.” Ashlyn's eyes soften and in the light of the candle lit restaurant they're lighter than usual.

“You're so strong,” she shakes her head, though you can't imagine going through half of what the blonde's been through.

“How's your family?” Ashlyn shifts uncomfortably in her chair and you're quickly transported back to high school. The blonde had only ever really opened up to you and Whit, but she never managed to do so without squirming.

“You know, not much has changed.”

“I'm sorry Ash,” you quickly say.

“No, it's okay. I mean, Chris is doing a lot better still. He's on his feet, hanging in, working. Mom and Dad are always in and out of it. You know the deal.” You do, sort of. Of course you've dealt with addiction with Kyle but you can't fathom having two parents struggling with the disease.

“And Grandma Harris?”

“Still kicking,” she smiles wide just thinking of the woman who raised her. “She'd be so stoked to hear that I'm on a date with _the_ Alexandra Krieger.”

“Shut up,” you roll your eyes with a laugh.

“I'm serious! She never shut up about how beautiful you were.” When you blush, Ash adds, “She'd faint if she saw you now.”

Your food arrives as if to save you from responding. One bite and you're moaning into the sushi. Ashlyn chuckles but keeps her comment to herself, even if you can see it visibly paining her to stay quiet.

Ashlyn asks you about work, about your adjustment back home and about where you hope to see yourself grow with Wild Fox. She listens intently, speaking only when she has something of substance to add. She asks about soccer and if you want to join a league for fun with some of the girls which, of course you would. You ask about her work. The way she talks about her designs has you smiling the entire time.

“It's great to see you find something you're as passionate about as soccer.”

“Almost,” she chuckles. “I did get lucky, though.”

 

When the check comes, Ashlyn quickly snatches it up. When you give her a look, she laughs and says, “Don't even think about it.” You thank her profusely and she slides her card in the little black check holder.

“I was thinking maybe we could get dessert somewhere else, if that's okay with you?” You can tell she's planned this out and you wouldn't dare complicating things. Plus, you're sweet tooth would never deny you of dessert.

“I'd love that.”

 

 

You drive along the beach in the opposite direction you came. After about ten minutes of singing along to the radio, you turn to the blonde.

“Are you going to tell me where we're going?”

“You'll see,” she laughs and you don't think you've ever noticed how much you love her laugh. It's not until you drive past your old high school that it dawns on you.

“Ash,” you breathe as you lean over the console, your hand falling on her forearm.

“Don't go getting all emotional on me,” she teases and you playfully hit her arm. The blonde parks the car and rushes over to you, opening the door once more. She places her hand on her stomach and raises and eyebrow. You offer a giggle as you loop your arm through hers.

“I had a really lovely dinner,” you tell her. “Thank you again.”

“No, thank you,” she grins. “I told you it wouldn't be so bad. Painless, right?” You lean into her side, laughter on your lips. She leads you down the block and stops right below the all-too-familiar sign. Kessel's Corner.

The ice cream parlor—designed to mimic an 1950's diner—is only a block from your high school. You used to sneak out during your free periods or hangout here before soccer when you had night practices. During your freshman year and Ashlyn's sophomore, both you and the blonde had a free period last block every Tuesday. Coincidentally on Tuesdays, Ashlyn didn't have soccer practice until five because of her school's lack of field space. Even though her school was two towns over, the blonde rode her longboard over to join you for an afternoon ice cream. What started as a onetime invite quickly became a weekly excursion and, when your schedules changed the next semester, you quickly figured out that Thursdays was Kessel's day. You continued a variation of the tradition until she left for college.

When Ashlyn opens the door for you, your hand pats her stomach.

“Who knew you were so sentimental,” you tease the blonde. You take a seat at the barstools in the far corner—the same spot you always sat.

“I haven't been back here since my senior year,” you admit as you pull out a menu, though you're not sure you need one.

“It hasn't changed,” Ashlyn laughs looking around. Ashlyn leans over to peek at the menu, an old and hoarse voice pulls your attention.

“It can't be,” the man starts from behind the counter. “I know my sight is going bad, but I couldn't make this up. Ashlyn Harris and Alexandra Krieger?” You look up and a grin explodes on your lips.

“Mr. Kessel!” The man, in his late sixties, walks from behind the counter to pull you two into a hug. Ashlyn's strong arms knock his silly paper hat right off his head.

“What's it been, four or five years?”

“Just about,” Ashlyn smiles as he looks you both up and down.

“You guys look great. I followed both of your soccer careers at UNC and Penn State,” he grins. “You guys made me so proud.” Your heart swells at his hometown pride. “How long have you been back?”

“Almost a month now,” you tell him. “I'm sure you'll be seeing more of me.”

“I better!”

“This place looks great,” Ashlyn says.

“I tried. What can I get you ladies. Still want the usual?” You both eye each other, shocked that he'd remember after all this time.

“Sounds perfect.” He rushes behind the bar.

“Major flashbacks,” you laugh as you sit back down at the bar.

“You feeling young again?”

“Excuse me, I _am_ young. You're the old lady.” She rolls her eyes playfully.

“Whatever you say, princess.” You feel yourself blushing at the nickname.

“What made you think of this place again?” Ashlyn eyes you curiously, as if the answer is all-too obvious. She shrugs softly, trying to downplay her words.

“This was the first place we sort of starting hanging out without Whit. It felt like the start of the Ashlyn-Ali friendship, I guess.” You can't act like you never noticed it before, too, but you never expected Ashlyn to pay so much detail to the shift in your relationship. Your hand falls on the blonde's knee without thinking. The corner of her lips turn upward at the touch.

“Well, thank you for skating all this way every week,” you laugh.

“Glad it finally paid off,” the blonde gives a coy smile.

Mr. Kessel places a brownie sundae in between you two and a black and white milkshake with two straws in it behind the plate.

“Enjoy ladies. This ones on the house.” You both thank the man as you grab for the milkshake. You offer Ashlyn the end of a straw as you place the other one in between your lips, sucking the thick ice-cream up. Ashlyn hesitantly joins you, both of you suddenly aware of how close you've become. You avert your eyes and place the glass down, blush rising on your cheeks.

“Just as good as I remember,” Ashlyn smiles.

You laugh for almost an hour over ice cream, reminiscing about high school and the countless memories you created in this tiny corner shop. It's not until Mr. Kessel starts closing down the shop that you realize you should be on your way. After a quick goodbye and a promise to return soon, you're walking out the door. Your stomach drops when you realize that this is probably the end of the date.

“Um,” Ashlyn rubs the back of her neck, nerves suddenly present. “I kind of had something else in mind, but if you're tired or—”

“No,” you interject almost too quickly. “I'd love to.”

“Cool,” she smiles as her chest relaxes. “I was hoping we could go on the beach for a bit? I have a blanket in my car we just have to grab.” You grab her by the arm because, as soon as you realize you want to hold her hand, the gesture feels too intimate.

“I'm fine without a blanket,” you smile.

“It's sandy,” she reminds you cautiously.

“I know I'm princess but I am a Florida girl,” you roll your eyes. “Come on,” you pull her towards the beach boards. She follows you until you're about to turn.

“Uh, actually,” she stops you. “I was thinking we could go one more entrance down.” When she points another block towards your school, your eyebrows crease.

“Sure,” you agree because, even though it makes no sense, Ashlyn's the one that planned this date. You follow her one more block and, when you reach the boards, she begins sliding off her shoes and socks. You slide out of your heels while she rolls up her pants.

“Let me,” she offers and you want to deny her because you rather hold her free hand but the blonde reaches for your heels before you can object. Instead, when you make it onto the sand, she holds out her arm once more. You grab onto her bicep.

“I've missed the sand,” you sigh as it slides between your toes.

“We've gotta get you out here more. Maybe next weekend you'll want to go surfing?”

“Maybe,” you give a cheeky smile even though you're positive you will. You follow Ashlyn about halfway down the beach before she stops. She gently places the shoes down and turns to you.

“Care to sit?” She reaches a hand for you and you take it as you sit. The blonde sits beside you and you breathe in her scent, her leg brushing yours. She sits with bunched up legs while yours lay flat.

“It's so beautiful out here.” It's dark. The water looks black and the moon is barely a thumbnail. The only true light is coming from the street behind you. The only thing you can see clearly, thankfully, is Ashlyn.

“Did you have a good time tonight?” Ashlyn asks as she turns towards you.

“I really did,” you say, your head falling to Ashlyn's shoulder. You arms wrap around her strong arm. “You continue to surprise me,” you admit.

“I hope that's a good thing.”

“Very good.”

You don't know how long you sit in silence for, the sound of crashing waves filling an already comfortable silence. You close your eyes against the blonde, the salt-water smell somehow making it easier to breathe. Or maybe it's the blonde beside you.

“Hey Squirt,” she says softly and you find yourself smiling at the once annoying nickname. You sit up to look at her when you realize she's staring down at you. She takes a moment to slow her breathing. “I made us walk to this beach for a reason.” Your eyebrows furrow for a moment. You look down the beach, trying to notice any difference between the spot you're sitting at and half a mile down the beach. She sits up a bit straighter, her hand brushing the hair out of her face. “I want you to know that I'm serious,” she tells you. “I know this feels new to you and you're skeptical and maybe right now it doesn't all totally make sense.” You go to speak up, to tell her that yes you're confused but you've never had such a perfect date, but Ashlyn waves you off. “No, it's okay, Al. You don't need to say anything, I just want to put it out there.”

“Okay,” you agree. Ashlyn's eyes land on the waves crashing on the shore. “Do you remember your junior year formal?” Your eyes narrow. What sort of relevance does this have?

“Yeah?”

“You came here to take pictures, remember? This beach, right there,” she points forward in front of you and you try to recall the night. You look to the left of you and see the back of your high school. “Whit and I came to take pictures with your mom,” she starts and the night is as clear as day. The girls, decked out in their soccer gear, came straight from their last high school soccer game. They'd just lost the championship but hopped in the keeper's car and drove straight here. Your Dad had left only weeks before and Kyle was, well, Kyle wasn't exactly under any condition to stand upright let alone stand on a beach and talk with dozens of his parent's from his alma mater. The two girls knew you were struggling as much as you mother and vowed to stand beside her to send you off to the formal.

“That meant so much to me,” you remind her, your hand falling a top her knee. “I don't know if I could verbalize it then, but—”

“We know, Al.” She offers you a soft smile, finally looking at you. When you realize that's not the point of the story, she looks back out ahead, her eyes falling now to the sand in front of her. “That night changed things for me.” When your hand drops to your lap, Ashlyn finds the confidence to turn towards you. “I don't think I understood before then,” she explains. “But that night, we walked up and I looked like shit. We'd just lost in the championship in my last game as a Panther. I was a sweaty mess who'd just been crying like a baby and we walk up and you—you looked stunning.” Ashlyn chuckles to herself, her head shaking as it drops a bit. She averts her eyes. “You were wearing that red dress with a sweetheart neckline. Your hair was curled a bit but you pinned down one side and—” she stops herself and you feel your heart rate pick up. You think you can hear Ashlyn's heart pounding. “You were so excited to see us and you lifted my mood right away. You even hugged us. We were sweaty as hell and you were all done up and you still hugged us,” she laughs. “I remember just staring at you, being totally in awe. I'd always found you beautiful but that night, I—” she stops her self again. “Even Whitney called me out.”

You never imagined Ashlyn like this. You never imagined these thoughts could have possibly been running through her head over six years ago. You never, in a million years, imagined she'd see you as anything other than an inexperienced friend or a little sister. Ashlyn looks out at the waves, her jawline more perfect than you recalled.

“But then you were on Tom's arm,” Ashlyn continues and your heart nearly sinks. She can't look at you. “Trust me, it wasn't the first time I'd thought of you that way. I'd always been attracted to you and thought the world of you but I didn't think I was in that deep. But seeing you with Tom, seeing you kiss his cheek, I would have done anything to be standing beside you.”

Ashlyn looks at you now only out of the corner of her eye, like she's unsure if this is too much information. You heart is bursting and banging against your ribcage, your stomach is flipping at the image of the blonde beside you now and the image of the blonde on the beach six years ago. Before you can fully process any of it, your hand is gently lifting Ashlyn's chin towards you. Even through her hesitance, you don't think you've ever seen her look so beautiful. Your lean in slowly, your eyes dropping to her lips. Ashlyn's eyes flutter shut before you can make contact like she's waiting for you to change everything. Your nose brushes hers and, when she doesn't lean closer, you use your fingers to lift her chin slightly, pressing her lips into yours.

The kiss is soft and slow and more than you've ever expected from two lips touching. Your heart is pounding, your hand is shaking and your stomach muscles are actually convulsing. You take Ashlyn's bottom lip in yours, tugging it gently towards you. Your hand finds her cheek as you kiss her harder. Ashlyn reciprocates and you kiss until you both desperately need air. When Ashlyn pulls away, she keeps her forehead resting against yours. Her breath is loud and choppy and uncharacteristic of the smooth woman.

“So,” you start once you finally catch your breath. “How about that second date?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll pick up where I left off for you, it was just felt like a good place to end :)  
> I hope you guys enjoyed / still like. Would love to hear your thoughts/comments/messages xxxxx love you all


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